So I says to Mabel, I says...I'll finish this later.

February bites

2010-02-23T07:13:00.002+03:00

I don't like February. I don't know if I've ever liked February. It is filled with holidays that are not recognized enough to include me getting off of work/school, it's persistently gray and not in the cool, April showers sort of way, it's short but feels endless, the reasons go on and on. I'm just over this weather. As is everyone else in the state. BUT, one thing I am managing to enjoy this month is school. As much anxiety and stress it brings me, it also is really where I need to be.

I'm not saying that the multitude of paths I contemplate wouldn't have been equally fulfilling, but this one really feels right. I'm enjoying my classes even when I'm hating them. For instance, my sociology of gender class is taught by a great professor (and who will most likely be my thesis advisor next year)and the topic is right up my alley. BUT, it is mainly filled with undergraduates who clearly have never had a true gender/women studies class. Most of them feel the need to not only provide the most basic, banal forms of gender stratification in their lives, but their comrades feel the need to follow up their comments with their own, same, stories, which irritates me to know end b/c I yearn for a truly intellectual discussion. Regardless, it is still rewarding for the tiny moments something important is realized or a great discussion emerges.

As for my other two classes, they are incredibly difficult and time-consuming, but when I'm in them, immersed in the ideas and learning, I feel great. I really think this is my area of expertise, not because I get it (b/c there are NUMEROUS areas that are still way too deep for my feeble mind), but because I feel inspired. I don't know yet where this is going to take me, but it's foverwhelming (that's fun and overwhelming...not clever, but hey, I'm not an English major) to be finding it out.

I think that's it from here in W-Burg. Hoping this last week of February/crap month/armpit of the year goes by really quickly and hope everyone else's months are not as bleak as the month makes it out to be.

Top 20 Movies of the Decade (according to me)

2010-01-15T03:45:00.004+03:00

Blurg.

Currently having issues with uploading photo's here. Did I forget a step or something? As a result, my long-awaited (by my own conscience) Greece post is further delayed until I figure it all out. Furthermore, this post itself is going to look quite dull and for all I know will be dull...very text heavy. But I like text. It implies I have a lot to say, which I always do, and today's topic simmering in my brain deals with movies. I ADORE lists, especially end-of-year/decade/century lists. I've pored over every year-end issue of EW with absolute delight and dream of the day when I'm so savvy in pop-culture that I can actually reference in my memory half of what they list. I also am addicted to their website and the daily content that they can't squeeze into the print edition. One such thing was the movie critic's top ten movies of the decade. As most of you know, I think Lisa Schwarzbaum is my movie soul mate and while I didn't agree with every movie on her list (largely b/c I haven't seen them yet), it did inspire me to attempt my own list with my much more limited depth of movies I've seen over the past 10 years. And I also have too much to say, so I've extended mine to include 20 movies.

To qualify, this list is prone to change (b/c I'm sure I've forgotten some or overlooked others), is not saying they are the best movies of the decade, but rather, what I consider the best for me(and we all know I am prone to bias and error), and really is just for fun and to open up discussion. It would be REALLY fun to see your own lists or hear what you have to say about mine. Also, these are movies that were released in theatres from January 1, 2000 to December 31, 2009. It does not include movies that I just happened to see this decade but were released at another time (so, while I adored Rear Window but only saw it a few years ago, it doesn't go on the list). Without further ado, here they are in backwards order:

20: Identity (2003)- I love a good scary movie. I go to way too many supposedly scary/horror movies hoping to truly be terrified only to leave disappointed and grossed out. And while there are a few other contenders for the scary movie slot on this list (not that I have designated slots, but for such a hard list to make, I thought I should settle on one scary movie), Identity really stands out for me as blood-chillingly good. It takes a classic concept of picking the characters off (a'la Agatha Christies "Ten Little Indians"), adds a psychological element and gives us a nice twist at the end. Plus, the creepy rhyme they use still can give me the heebie-jeebies. Honorable Mentions: Paranormal Activity, The Descent, The Others, The Grudge

19: About A Boy (2002)- A great movie about how we need a support system to make it through the day. It has a fantastic musical climactic scene that is both cringe-worthy to watch and triumphant. Plus, Hugh Grant in a dramatic role needs to happen more per this movie. And I love all things British, so that helps as well.

18: Sweeney Todd (2007)- My exposure to this musical outside of this film is virtually non-existent. Pre-movie, this was largely b/c I was dependent on my musical theatre knowledge based on what my siblings performed in. Post-movie, I don't want to taint my wonderful experience with the film. I simply loved it; the over-the-top blood (clearly meant to be cartoonish and not realistic), the singing by actors who are actually singing, the Burton elements, a great tale of revenge set to song. I'm singing "Pretty Women" in my head as I type. Not to mention, while in London, is there a better song to sing through the streets of Picadilly Circus than "No Place Like London"?

17: Minority Report (2002)- Dystopian stories are my jam, and this one is particularly good b/c you can really see how a good idea can have severe unintended consequences. This was pre-crazy Tom Cruise, so I was front row center when it came out and I'm glad I was. It is also a feast for the eyes, yet doesn't let go of the action or heart of the story. Honorable Dystopian Film Mentions: Children of Men, The Road

16: There Will Be Blood (2008)- This is a movie one either loves or hates. I loved it, hence it being on the list. Daniel Day Lewis is simply fantastic, the story is tragic, and the overall feeling is haunting yet simple. Plus, any movie that can make "I drink your milkshake" a popular quote/insult makes it worth a second and third look.

15: Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy (2004)- I'm really surprised at the number of people I've met who don't think this movie is funny. I remember weeping with laughter at it in the theatre and continuing to enjoy it on subsequent viewings. Steve Carrell (pre Office fame) was my favorite supporting character, still making me laugh at his clueless "I love lamp", and Will Ferrell hams it up perfectly. Meh, guess there are two kinds of people in this world--those who love Anchorman and those who don't. Honorable Will Ferrell Comedy Mention: Talladega Nights, Elf

14: Mystic River (2003): Ah, the movie that introduced me to both Dennis Lehane and Clint Eastwood directed movies. Oh, and movies I like Sean Penn in...It is a shakespearean-esque tale of murder and lies in working-class Boston with amazing jobs done by Penn, Tim Robbins and Kevin Bacon. Simply beautiful. Honorable Sean Penn/Clint Eastwood/Dennis Lehane Movie Mention: Milk, Invictus, Gone Baby Gone

13: The Prestige (2006): I came into this movie only this past year. And while my opinion of who is the worst of the villains differs from the rest of our family, it doesn't mean it isn't still a great movie with a fantastic twist that on first viewing is impossible to guess. Plus, who doesn't love to learn a bit behind the scenes of magic? And I love seeing David Bowie in almost everything he does (Labrynth anyone??? Or that Extras episode???).

12: Kill Bill: Volume 2 (2004): The first one is amazing as well, but it is in the second installment that we really get the emotion of the movies. It is just a fun revenge tale with a truly awesome female heroine who is kicking butt and taking names. Like Sweeney Todd, the violence in this is too colorful and over-the-top to really be grotesque, so I'm able to enjoy it (I hate realistic gore). And her time in Japan with bearded guy is perfect.

11: Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003)- Whether or not the other installments were really necessary (I tend to lean towards not, even though I enjoyed them), this first one was a great summer movie. Swashbucklingly fun with dreamy male leads and a female lead who could almost always fend for herself. And pirates? You can't go wrong with pirates. Honorable Swashbuckling Mentions: The Count of Monte Cristo, Stardust

10: The Dark Knight (2008)- I need to see this movie again. A repeat viewing just might bump it higher on the list. But after only seeing it once, I still know it is probably the best comic-book adaptation I have ever seen and the best of the Batman franchise (and that is saying something since I have a place in my heart reserved for the campy Batman Forever). I remember going into watching this worrying that it had been over-hyped, and being delighted when acknowledging that it hadn't. Not in the slightest. Honorable Comic Book Mentions: X-Men (all movies), Batman Begins, Spiderman

9: Memento (2000)- One of the few movies I watched twice in a 24 hour period (but largely b/c I was soooooo confused, wonderfully so). It is just a great and original concept, with an under appreciated lead in Guy Pearce and leaves you with multiple discussion points. Truly mind-blowing. Honorable Mind-Blowing Mentions: Donnie Darko, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Unbreakable

8: Bridget Jones Diary (2001)- Taking Pride and Prejudice elements (especially dreamy Mr. Darcy) and making a comedic heroine the average girl can relate to and add in the best romantic movie kiss of ALL TIME, and you have my favorite rom-com of the aughties. It was a tough decision, but this movie just makes me smile, from the beginning with Bridget singing "All By Myself" all by herself (hilariously drunk on wine) to the fight scene with "It's Raining Men" playing, to that last scene with the kiss in the snow, it's perfection. And British. You all remember how much I love the Brit's, so this should come as no surprise. Honorable Rom-Com Mentions: Miss Congeniality, The Holiday, 50 First Dates, The Proposal, Enchanted, Kate and Leopald, Serendipity

7: Moulin Rouge (2001)- I tell anyone new to this movie that you have to stick with it past the first crazy thirty minutes and then you are in cinematic heaven. I just love this romantic tragedy with it's great pop-musical elements. And I recently read a critic's unique take on the movie that I have to agree with, that the movie has some clearly dissonant elements and scenes that only serve to further highlight the beauty and gloriousness of the love story and songs.

6: O Brother, Where Art Thou? (2000)- There are many Coen brothers movies I like, but this is my favorite. What a great allegorical tale with absolute hilarity and an appreciation for the Deep South. This was a movie that had to grow on me and boy did it ever. It's like a hysterical tumor on my brain. I love movies that are completely unexpected and make it work. Honorable Coen Mentions: No Country For Old Men

5: Casino Royale (2006)- It must first be mentioned that I hate the Bond franchise. I find it sexist, unrealistic (and not in a good way) and simply over-rated (and I really wanted to give Pierce Brosnan a chance). But this movie changed it all. It is a fantastic action movie that revitalizes an immortal character and makes me actually care about him. It is just so good, I can't help but watch whenever I catch it playing on cable. And Daniel Craig? SO dreamy. In my opinion, the best action movie of the decade and possibly one of the best I will ever see. Honorable Action Mentions: The Bourne Trilogy, Wanted

4: Ocean's Eleven (2001)- This movie is the quintessential feel-good, have fun at the movies kind of movie. It is just so highly entertaining and well-scripted. It has a great ending, a perfect heist, and a stellar cast. I want to hang out with those guys. They clearly had such a great time making it (and all other installments) that how can we not have a great time watching it?

3: Finding Nemo (2003)- It was tough picking just one pixar movie, but this one is it for me. Granted, I haven't seen Wall-E yet, so I reserve the right to shift things around. Finding Nemo though is my favorite pixar/animated film after the Toy Story's and A Bug's Life. When you have a pixar movie, you know it's going to be amazing. This one had me crying, then laughing, then crying with laughter, then cheering, then laughing and crying again. And I don't even particularly adore fish! Honorable Animated Mentions: All other pixar films released this decade

2: Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World (2003)- How I wish this movie had come out any other year besides Return of the King year. I would have rooted for it so hard to have won best picture, you don't even know. It flows perfectly, between tense action and the calms in between. It has a great relationship between the captain and the doctor. The music is simply perfect. I still can't really explain why this movie moved me as much as it did and why I love it so devotedly, I just do. Russell Crowe certainly doesn't hurt (he is my almost sure-bet for a movie being great). Honorable Russell Crowe Mentions: Cinderella Man, State of Play, Gladiator, A Beautiful Mind, 3:10 To Yuma

1: Lord of the Rings Trilogy (2001-2003)- Like there was any doubt in anyone's mind about my number one. I won't say anything that hasn't already been said by our whole family since I know we are all on the same page here. Basically, these are the best films I will ever see in my entire life. And you know what? That's okay. Because finding number 2 (b/c the three clearly count as one movie) and number 3 on is still a lot of fun.

So there it is. Hope some of this took you back down memory lane, and that some of these have inspired you to watch a movie for the first or second time. Like I said before, I KNOW I've missed some things and am eager to hear your suggestions for what I left out. The honorable mentions were just random and my way to acknowledging what I'm aware of that didn't make the list. It should be noted that I am still catching up on the majority of my 2008 and 2009 movies, so I'm sure a couple of them I have yet to see will make there way onto this list. Also, how interesting that nothing from 2005 made it. Was it just a crappy movie year for me, or am I just blocking it all from memory? Anyways, thanks for indulging me...I'm off to watch one of these amazing films!!!

Lacking Motivation

2009-11-06T05:02:00.005+03:00

Here is a little teaser pic of Greece for my next post...I just don't have it in me to get one together right now. What you see there is beautiful Oia on the island of Santorini. Just looking at that pic has my mouth watering for feta cheese.

Apparently, my writing juices only run while in Iraq. Why is that? Could it be related to the high hours of boredom and the disconnect from the world? That seems too simple an answer, but it is probably right. I honestly can't say I've been too busy to post. Or that I have nothing important to say, b/c honestly, EVERYTHING I say is more important than anything anyone else has to say. So lets stick to that simple answer. Since leaving Iraq, it has been an odd combination of too much to do with too little to do but lots of t.v. to watch. Owning a tivo is both good and bad for the latter. I don't have to set my schedule to accomodate Top Chef or Flashfoward, but I do wake up to delightful late night comedy and tivo recommendations that include Seinfeld reruns, E True Hollywood Story, and cooking shows. And I don't think leaving my bed to immediately plant it in front of the t.v. is the best way to start off productive.

What else has been going on? Well, I'm entering into the last month of the first semester of grad school. It is going to be a stressful month. I have multiple term papers and short papers due right after Thanksgiving, so I'm trying to buckle down now and have rough drafts done by Thanksgiving and just edit like crazy that weekend. You'll all know how successful I am depending on the level of stress I exhude when you see me. And while I am extremely excited to be going to NYC the weekend before Thanksgiving, in hindsight, probably not the best time. But I won't let that keep me from having a great time. I'm hoping to go to the Museum of Modern Art and walk around the Klimt display talking boredly about how I've already seen all of them while traveling in Europe--because I firmly believe that the most important reason to go to Europe is to act better than others and let random mentions of your amazing time fall into everyday conversation. Steven and Tamara, you are on the cusp of being our most recent elitists.

Other things of note, Max got a haircut last weekend by Kyle's Wichita bessie and let me tell you, he looks ridiculous. I kind of love it. It is in the style of a classic poodle haircut, so parts of him are super fluffy and other parts are almost completely bald. Also, I have yet to assemble that futon Steven, Elise and Sarah helped me get...Steven, you completely intimidated me about assembling it, so I just haven't wanted to attempt such a feat yet. I hopefully will do it this weekend, but if I don't, it's on your head Lambson.

I have yet to get a job...I really just want something part-time that isn't too demanding when I am there and lets me have the occasional weekend off. Talking to my advisor this past week does not have me any more eager to hunt a job up. Basically, the next two years of my life are going to be immersed in stress. Neat. Remind me why I'm willingly doing this?

So, that's me in a "can't seem to write a blog for two months" nutshell. Sometime in the next two months: Greece recap.

Saturday night is alright...for watching reruns of Project Runway

2009-09-06T18:30:00.004+03:00

I can't believe it has been over a month since I posted. And I really don't have a good excuse. Don't get me wrong; hold a gun to my head and I'll come up with a few, but none that will hold up without that gun there. I guess I just haven't felt motivated/like I had anything to write about that didn't develop into a 10 paragraph post about what stresses me out. But no excuse. So, even though I still don't have that normal burning desire to verbally vomit all over the internet, I'm making myself break this bad pattern of not writing. To do so, I'm doing my favorite kind of post, the random one where it's more free flow than coherent.

-Whenever I hear Coldplays "Viva La Vida", I just get excited. For what, I don't know. I think it is just one of those songs that just pumps me up for listening to it, living life, all sorts of things. I already love Coldplay (though not as much as Kirsti), but I think this may be my favorite song by them. There, I said it. It may beat out "Politik". Other songs that either still, or at one point gave me that inexplicable feeling of just anticipation, joy and excitement:
*Bon Jovi "It's My Life" and "Saturday Night"
*Feist "Inside and Out"
*Regina Spektor "Better" and currently "Eet"
*My Chemical Romance "The Black Parade"
*Faith Hill "This Kiss"
*Keane "Somewhere Only We Know"
*Kings of Leon "Use Somebody"
*Kelly Clarkson "Since U Been Gone"
I could go on a bit more, but that gets boring. These are what came to mind almost instantly, and they aren't to be confused with favorite songs of all time, though many of them are on the list. The song has to be something that just makes you want to crank up the volume and hit repeat.

-It is remarkable how easily it is to get back to normal. Iraq seems a very, very distant memory and almost completely unreal. Like I had a year-long out-of-body experience. What is very vivid are those times I went on R&R. You know that perfect Christmas you idealize and live every year hoping to match up to that perfect combination of happiness and contentment? That's what these vacations were like. EVEN with the sickness that inevitably came with it. Or the stress of getting out of Iraq. Or the extreme sadness when they were over. Or the slight cringing over the money spent. They were all perfect. I remember last October just giddy with happiness...getting to hang out with all my friends, seeing all my family, eating amazing food, and just living every day like it was my last (and in a way, it was...returning to Iraq loomed closer and closer). I was deep in the dumps on my return. And then getting to go to Europe not once, but twice! Who gets to say that? And to have two very different trips that were both equally perfect. I am going to NYC with friends later this year, and though I am filled with anticipation, it will probably not match up to that perfect feeling I had on the last few trips. But I think in order to have that again, I will have to move back to Iraq, and that sure as heck isn't happening.

-My apartment is still a bit of a wreck. I can't believe how little I started off with and how much more I need to get, yet that itself is a problem, as I have too much crap. And now I'm saying I need more crap to manage the crap. But I do. I still need an entertainment center, a futon, another bookshelf, end tables, another dresser, and a nightstand. And that doesn't even take care of the problem of my shoes!!! I have too many, but getting rid of one pair would be like getting rid of a child. Same with purses. I wish Kirsti were here b/c I would let her pick two purses and no matter what, I would have to let her keep them. Even if it is my all time favorite purse. That way, I'm purging while letting someone else enjoy them (and I can potentially re-borrow it). I might make a condition that one of them has to be a clutch, b/c that is my latest obsession. I probably own over 10 clutches. I just think they are perfect. So perfect.

-Having Max as my starter dog has been great. He isn't too demanding in terms of my time, just wants me around as much as possible. It has been two weeks and not one accident. I'm blaming Sadie for his bad behavior; she enable him. And when we do go outside, he just immediately goes, no waiting on my part. And he is so darn cute.

-I'm really excited for fall to start...I have tons of scarves and sweaters I want to wear with my fantastic boots. And I can't wear any of these till the weather cools off.

-I'm also excited for fall television...I think Flash Forward is going to be really good. I saw a preview for it and it gave me chills. And finally saw the pilot of Glee, so I'm positively brimming with excitement over the new episode this Wednesday. Can't wait to here what songs they convert next. I hear they are doing a Heart song sometime...will be buying that one on itunes.

-Speaking of Heart, went to their concert at the State Fair a few weeks ago. It was like a white trash convention. Despite that, it was an amazing concert. Those ladies can still wail.

-Guilty confession...I haven't yet vacuumed. I need to--there is still leftover pieces of Styrofoam from when mom and I put my bed together, but I haven't even lugged my vacuum out of the trunk of my car. I HATE cleaning floors of any kind. I would clean 20 toilets before cleaning a floor. I have no problem keeping up with my dishes or counter tops or laundry, but vacuum? I can't do it.

-I like how all these networks have money-saving shows on how to shop smart, cook smart, etc. Our parents have been doing it for years, and yet these people act like it is brand new information that it is cheaper to cook at home rather than go out to eat.

Okay, I think that is enough for now...I think now that I've re-broken that gravy-like skin of writing, it won't be so long till I post again.

Back in the saddle again

2009-07-19T13:46:00.003+03:00

Oh, how I have missed this unobstructed internet. It has been a long couple of months without my laptop, and I've felt every minute of it. As all of you know, my precious baby, my laptop, decided to go crazy and not work whilst in Greece. I think my life was too perfect at that moment, and there had to be opposition in that, so hence the laptop not working. No biggie, I thought. I have an I-Touch and it can pick of wireless, so though it would be tedious to type a whole blog entry on a phone sized gadget, it would still be internet. Well, our wireless in Iraq is so wonky it didn't work. So I was left with work internet, which blocks twitter, blogging, and I'm sure other stuff (but I really only care about twitter and blogging, so I wouldn't know). I found a way around the twitter obstacle (thank you, AOL), and every now and then I could do a random enough search on google that I could view your blogs, but not very well. For instance, pictures on Em's blog NEVER upload on my work computer, so I was clearly missing a big chunk of meat in that pie. Yeah, i like meat-pies; deal. And I definitely couldn't blog myself, and I have a lot of things to say. All the time.

SO, without further ado, I will do my favorite blog activity and that is to list free thoughts of mine:

-Reason I have unobstructed internet is because I'm in KUWAIT!!! Hello, tent city. Nice to see ya. Love paying 5$ an hour for internet (actually, I really don't mind b/c I've missed it so much and the air conditioning is good in here).

-You all are lucky I didn't have the ability to blog b/c for the past three weeks it would have been a rotation on 1) I hate my job and I hate training, 2) I can't WAIT to come home and eat some Jack in the Box, and 3) Why are all middle-aged people so darned annoying and dull?

-The flight from Iraq to Kuwait was AMAZING. From previous posts, you all can deduce that flying out of Iraq via their military planes is horrific and I would rather suffer through the Spanish Inquisition than get on that plane willingly. So when I went to the ADAC last night, I was fully prepared to be so miserable, I would be sobbing later into my pillow (that is only a slight exaggeration). BUT, for some reason, I lucked out and the flight that was leaving was nicknamed a Moose, which stands for a bigger, awesomer plane. Seriously, ya'll, soooooo much different than the craptastic C130's I was stuck on. This one was like if you married a military plane and a commercial plane and they had a baby. I love their baby. It was well air-conditioned, comfy seating, no overwhelming smells of jet-fuel, and incredibly smooth. I slept through most of it, happier than a clam. Didn't get settled into Kuwait until 3:30 a.m., but so worth it. My spirits are high and my coming home soon doesn't even play into it right now.

-I weirdly felt a bit sad to be leaving last night. I spent most my afternoon convinced it was a fool's errand to try and work my way onto this flight, so I skulked out of there not making an effort to say goodbye to a few people. To be fair, I HATE goodbyes more than almost anything. I will do a lot of things to avoid them. I just didn't think I would succeed so well. I wouldn't go back and change things, I'm just a bit sad. I'll write them a note I think. Who doesn't like mail? Really, though he got on my last nerve for the past 4 months, I will miss Dave. And though Jackie, my replacement, found nerves to annoy that Dave managed to miss, I will miss her too b/c she is very supportive. And I will miss seeing the fireworks when Dave and Jackie butt heads for the first time, which I anticipate will be in the first hour. It's going to be crazy.

-I do NOT feel the least bit sad about leaving the work. It was getting ridiculous and even more bureaucratic than normal. And chaotic. And still boring.

-I used to hate Combo's, but then tried the salsa/tortilla combo and it is fantastic. Addictive even.

-I have so much to do when I return, but in my opinion, most of it is fun stuff. I need furniture, a new bed, all sorts of things that I threw away when I packed up my stuff last year b/c I didn't want to deal with it. In hindsight, my laziness will very likely cost me some money.

-Was contemplating going into Kuwait City and staying there for a couple of days before my flight leaves, but since I just left my steady income, I don't know if I want to drop money on the hotel.

-Been watching Simpsons episodes. Classic. I missed this show and didn't even realize it.

-Have I mentioned how insanely excited I am to come home? Seriously, so excited. I may tackle Elise at the airport in my joy. Though I will have been traveling for hours and hours, so Elise, if i don't tackle you physically, know that I am doing it in my head.

My hour is just about up, so I'll leave you here while I brave the Kuwait heat. I almost miss humidity when I'm out there. Almost, but not quite.

WOOOOO!!! INTERNET FOREVER!!!

(oh, and spellcheck isn't working, so don't hate on my bad spelling abilities)

Cry Me A River Part Two

2009-05-13T18:34:00.002+03:00

I'm so happy to have gotten the response on the last post I did...I was hoping to, if only to get some books to add to my reading list. First, some responses to the comments left on the post:

-Genny, so funny you mentioned "Anne of Green Gables", b/c folks commenting on the EW web post mentioned that one a bunch. It was up there with "The Lovely Bones", Harry Potter, and a few others as books that made many, many people cry. And now I'm going to have to look for "Tiger Eyes" to read. I love Judy Blume, so I have no doubt I will enjoy this book, and probably have a crying jag after I finish. Oh, and "She's Come Undone" is on my reading list. I've read "I Know This Much Is True" by the same author, though I don't remember crying. I might have. Good book, and I also plan to read his latest, "The Hour I First Believed."

-Steven, really? Not at ALL at Harry Potter? Not even when Dumbledore died? Wow, you might be dead inside. Or just need to really find a book that opens up the tearducts for that particular medium.

-Juli, I have "The Devils Arthmetic" on my list of books that made me cry, but I had to make some cuts, and since "Jacob Have I Loved" stands out the most, it won. Yeah, that one is fantastic and had me crying.

-Elise, I was sooo going to mention Stan's death on The Commish as a t.v. example, but you stole my thunder. Ah, memories.

-Em, "East of Eden" was also some cartharsis for me. I need to read it again. So satisfying on so many levels. And you know I have your copy of "Lovely Bones" and have for a while (I'm a horrible person) and still plan on reading it b/c of all the amazing things I've heard. I loved "Education of Little Tree"...didn't cry as much as you mentioned you had while working a shift at Mac Shack, but definitely emotionally worth it.

Okay, so onto some television. My last post about this will be movies, so don't worry about me neglecting that particular medium.

Television was the hardest for me to remember things that really made me cry. Even though I know it is probably the most likely of the three (books, t.v. and movies) that I will tear up at simply due to sheer exposure. So I'm eager to hear what television has made you all cry. Without further ado though, here is what sticks in my mind as tear-jerker television:

-Well, what first comes to mind is the Olympics Opening Ceremony. This one is funny b/c I have been very vocal with how I find both the opening and closing ceremonies a waste of 5 hours of television (and thats just for one of them). I guess I've never just sat down and watched them. Not that I did this last time. I was working out on the trusty elliptical here in Iraq during the summer olympics and naturally, anything sports-related was on. It happened to be the opening ceremony. I groaned inwardly and immediately started trying to find something to drift off into thought with. But as my eyes kept going to the screen, just seeing these athletes, who have worked so hard for 4 years, rise to the top of their sport and get their moment on the center stage of the world, it got me. And seeing the pride of each nation in their athletes. What a spectacular feeling that must be. So it wasn't just sweat dripping down my cheeks that morning.

-While we are on sports, it must be mentioned that certain pivotal games make me cry. I get wayyyy too invested and the whole play-off experience is already so emotionally draining, that I can't help but cry when my team loses or wins. More often than not, they lose. The game I remember crying the most at was the 1997 loss of KU to Arizona. Man, I sobbed after that game. It still hurts in case you were curious. Their winning of the championship last year went a long way to healing that (and the Syracuse) wound, but still...

-I used to be OBSESSED with ER. If anyone dared call me during the hours of 9 p.m and 10 p.m. on Thursday night, I would refuse to talk to them. That was my time. Now, that time is whatever time Lost is on, but once upon a television, it was ER. I remember being terrified and filled with anxiety for the week after the episode where Carter is stabbed on Valentines Day, just praying that they wouldn't kill him off. And I remember that same season, in the season finale, crying when Carter finally admitted he had a pain-killer addiction (due to the stabbing and subsequent surgery) to Benton, after taking a swing at his mentor. They get on the plane together for rehab, and man, that was a good episode. But it was nothing compared to the one where Dr. Green dies. Oh, I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed at that one. I think Elise watched it with me, an ER novice herself, and she sobbed as well. ER has been replaced in my heart, but that episode never will be.

-Funny about that Carter season finale, it also had the episode of Friends and Frasier that made me cry. It was the episode of Friends where Chandler proposes to Monica, and the episode of Frasier where Daphne picks Niles. It was an emotional night for me, and that Friends proposal still chokes me up. It is the perfect proposal and my favorite Friends episode of all time. I was apparently a basket case that Thursday night.

-Any episode of Oprah featuring mothers or someone getting their wildest dream, and I am a bucket of tears. I can be in the pissiest, least emotional mood ever, and all it takes is someone recognizing how amazing their mom is to have me crying hard. It doesn't even matter if it is on in the background as I get ready for work, I am always reduced to tears. Darn that Oprah and her emotionally manipulative episodes.

-The episode of Buffy where her mom dies is one of the best episodes of television ever. They use a Sarah Mc. song to perfection in that ep.

-The Gilmore Girls have me crying at many, many points, but that final episode was soooo good and I think I spent the whole thing crying, from the theme song to the last shot of them in the diner, I was dripping like a leaky faucet. It was similar to Harry Potter, where I knew I was saying goodbye to them, but man, when Lorelei tells Rory "It's too soon", oh, I'm just crying right along with them. Gosh, I absolutely love that show. It is my favorite show of all time. That's right, I said it. I have many competing heavily for number two, and I'm not saying it is the best show ever made (that would be The Wire and Arrested Development), but it is my personal favorite, go-to, comfort, tear-jerking escape.

-Last but not at all least is Scrubs. There are too many episodes that have reduced me to tears to count, so I'll just say that there is no show out there that can have me laughing so hard I'm crying and then in the next second, just simply crying. Episodes that stand out are the ones with Brendan Fraser, any episode that has Dr. Cox emoting, and the one where J.D.'s dad dies. And that finale this year? For any Scrubs fan out there (looking at you Em and Joe), it was tear-jerking and completely satisfying. The perfect finale. My favorite part? "Hooch IS crazy."

So, there it is, the t.v. that has me crying. I'm missing so much from this list, I know. I haven't even delved into those old Hallmark commercials at Christmas time or the cotton commercials or anything involving old people, so feel free to remind me of some great television that is cry-worthy. Next up, movies...(not that that won't be enormously predictable, but it's still coming).

Cry Me A River

2009-05-10T15:37:00.003+03:00

Last week, during my regularly scheduled phone call with Mom and Dad, we were talking about something (can't remember what) and it came up that I hate to cry. Mom was surprised and I went into my explanation of how I keep myself from crying at movies and the like (I think of funny scenarios like puppies playing in flour or episodes of Arrested Development). If I don't cry, I not only don't get splotchy face, but I can maintain my emotionless superiority over the rest of you tear-buckets. However, there are moments when no amount of reminiscing about Gob-isms can prevent that pounding heart, the dripping nose and the little gasps for breath as you hold back sobs. They come in a variety of circumstances, one of which I just finished reading about on the Entertainment Weekly website: books. Now, I should say this has inspired me to reminisce not only about the books that make me cry, but the movies and t.v. shows, so this could become a series.

But first things first, a sampling of the books that I can't help but sob while reading. Many of these will be familiar to all of you, and those that aren't, I promise not to spoil the ending for you in case you want to pick it up with a box of Kleenex.

-Well, no tear-jerker book list can be complete without a mention of the last three Harry Potter books. This will not be spoiler-free b/c you all have read these (and if you haven't, you are clearly not a member of my family/extended circle and I don't need to accommodate you). I remember reading the 5th book, as Harry is in Dumbledores office, completely out of control and I'm just bawling my little eyes out. I lived at home at the time, it was a Sunday night, and Mom comes down to get me to come to dinner, and I have to explain to her with my red eyes that now wasn't the time. Well, each book got successively more tearful. In book 6, it was in the middle of the night that I'm finishing it, and it wasn't until Dumbledores funeral with Hagrid sobbing and Harry realizing what he has to do, on his own, that it hit me and I cried and cried. I had refused to believe he was dead all through that battle with Snape and with everyone else discovering he had fallen, but the funeral made it real. And his office, with his portrait sleeping on the wall. By now I was ready and prepared for what J.K. would throw at me in book 7. I remember Kyle and I were reading it and trying to pace each other so we didn't binge too fast on the experience, but I'm a naturally faster reader than most, so I would have to put it down and wait for him to catch up. However, after the escape from Gringotts, there was no way I could halt my reading, and when I knew I would start crying (The Battle at Hogwarts), I had to leave the living room so I wouldn't inadvertently ruin it for him. From that chapter on, it was just straight tears with the occasional laugh, gasp, hiccup, sob, up until the end. Parts that especially get me include the forest scene of course ("will it hurt?"), when Hagrid carries his body sobbing, when everyone refuses to believe his death is real, the house-elves coming out with Kreacher in front, Neville, and the epilogue. Man, I'm tearing up just thinking about these scenes. And it isn't just the amazing story J.K. wrote, it was saying goodbye to one of the best cultural experiences I will ever have. It's not a forever goodbye though, as I can pick of the books at any time in the future.

-Next book that I thought of was Jacob Have I Loved by Katherine Patterson, same author that wrote Bridge to Terebithia. I know it is the less typical pick of the two in terms of favorite books/tearjerkers, but it is the one I lean towards. It is also the first book I remember that reduced me to soaking my t-shirt with my waterworks. I've always had a strong sympathy for the sibling that is, for lack of a better phrase, "the wind beneath the other siblings wings." This one epitomizes that theme.

-Which leads me to East of Eden, a book that was introduced to me by Emily; I will be forever grateful. It is another sibling book where my favorite character is the outwardly lesser of the two, Cal. Interestingly enough, both books are also loosely based around biblical tales, with JHIL being based around Jacob and Esau, and EOE around Cain and Abel. Just funny that these are two books that no matter how many times I read them, they will move me, touch me, make me think, and leave me drained at the end.

-It was Juli that had me reading Little Women, another one to add to this list. I don't recall which part makes me cry more, Jo's rejection of Laurie, Beths death, Jo's discovery of Laurie and Amy (that one has me crying from fury), her budding relationship with the professor, I don't know. Man, I need to re-read this book.

-The Joy Luck Club is kinda a downer book, so you expect to be depressed through a lot of it. But for me, its at the end when June goes to China for reasons I won't detail in case you haven't read it that I lose it. The movie is equally sob-a-rific, but that is for a potential future post.

-I think the last one I will mention is The Road by Cormac McCarthy. I must say, I was not at all anticipating crying in this one. It is written in a non-traditional format, it is bleak, stark, depressing, dystopian, and just didn't have me anticipating the gut-punch it gave me at the end. I remember staying up past 8 p.m. to finish it, b/c as depressing as it is, it is still a really good book, and tearing up at the end, satisfied with the read. And as I got up to get ready for bed, I just kept thinking about it and within seconds, I was sobbing. It was so intense. I laughed at how ridiculous I was through my tears, and still didn't stop crying. I think I cried myself to sleep. It is the last book (with the exception of re-reading Harry Potter) that I have cried so hard while/after reading. I don't recommend it to everyone for the reasons I mentioned above, but for those who think they can handle it, it is completely worth it. Plus, it is also a yet-to-be-release movie starring Viggo Mortenson, and if you read it, you will realize how absolutely perfect he is for the role.

Now its your turn. What was a book that surprised you with tears at its intensity? What is your go-to crying read? What book do you remember first made you cry? I'm sure we have some overlapping tastes, just as I'm sure that different books and stories will elicit different reactions from us. But maybe we can all get a new book to add to our reading list and have a good ole cry over it. And I had some fun with this, so anticipate a film and t.v. version soon.

A Bright Spot in a Dusty Day

2009-05-03T17:41:00.002+03:00

It is sandstorm season here in Tikrit, which means that Flo is going to spend every day hacking and coughing and pretending that every little cloud she sees is proof of worse sandstorms to come. It also means that getting out of Tikrit for any reason, by any means, is all the harder. So I approach my upcoming R&R with some trepidation. I will either get to Baghdad extremely early and have to find some way to spend my days in a place I remember to be as bad, if not worse, than Kuwait, or I miss my oppurtunity/flight and have to find some way to meet up with Kathy and Kyle later. But these are things to worry about in a few days.

In the meantime, I have to mention the amazing care package I got the other day from Tamara and Steven. Completely unexpected and entirely delightful, it is the best part of my week. They wrote little notes for every item, which just added to the amusement. My personal favorite that still makes me laugh out loud was attached to a mini "Daily Spanish for Dummies." It said (written by Steven): "Some Spanish to help for your trip to Greece. (Tamara in backgroung) 'Um, I think they speek Greek in Greece, not Spanish.' Me, 'Babe, I am the geography king. I won the Oakland geography bee in the 7th grade. Don't argue.' (Tamara rolls her eyes)."

Classic high jinx from these two.

It also included some chocolate yummies, gum, a "Middle-East Conflict for Dummies", EW, crosswords, a recycled bag, and a few other goodies. Thank you so much you two...it was so very thoughtful and well-received. I love you both and I hope you had as much fun compiling this package as it seems you did.

On another note, I'm watching Firefly, lent to me by my very gracious sister, Sarah. With the way I'm plowing through it, I should be watching the movie shortly. I think I've mentioned on twitter that it is hard to keep watching knowing that it is going to end very soon. It only took a couple of episodes to become absolutely hooked to these characters and the unique stories that are told. So if anyone wants to talk Firefly in the future, I'm game.

Other than that, things are pretty much same old, same old. I have an Iraqi version of senioritis, where it is really hard for me to care/invest in anything I do here since the end is so near. I planned out my 2nd and 3rd R&R's with the intent of having the longest stretch of time behind me by the end of my 2nd, not realizing that I would come back so not wanting to work or do anything. And pretty much resenting anyone who dares ask me to learn anything new. I struggle every day to get through it and just keep telling myself that if I continue with this attitude, the gods will smite me and force me to stay another year, all b/c I counted my going home eggs before they hatched. I fear the time after this upcoming R&R most of all. The fact that it is hard to quit and just walk off will work in my favor here. For all those wondering, I will probably stay till mid-late July. I want to stay on so Dave can take his R&R, which he plans to take at the beginning of July, and then hang for a week after, so I don't thrust the whole program at him immediately after he lands. I don't think there will be anyone new to train, b/c word on the downlow is that they are cutting back so much here, there will only be one project controls person (that's what I do, if you are confused). So naturally it would be Dave...and hopefully he isn't thinking the same about me.

I miss you all dearly and really don't know what half of you are doing right now/how you are doing. Heck, I'll call you out...that way, if someone else knows how you are doing, they can shoot me an email. Juli, Kirsti...hmmm, not as many as I thought. I've gotten a couple of cards from Elise, so I know she is well enough to address an envelope, I talk to mom and dad weekly, so I know how the pets are (and every story delights me more than the last), Sarah blogs regularly, Steven and Tamara just sent me a package, so they are doing fine, talked to Em last week and despite being the caretaker of a male sickhouse, her crew is doing fine (headed back from Wisconsin, if I believe), so yeah, that just leaves Kirsti and Juli. Are they alive? Are they well? Someone drop me a line and let me know.

Have a great day of the dead (what I used to think Cinco de Mayo stood for and would wish people, and I find it so amusing how wrong I was that I continue to do it)!!

This internet connection chafes at my soul.

2009-04-24T08:21:00.002+03:00

I'm taking a break from my workday since I skipped going to breakfast, and saw that my internet connection was at a 'very good' level, which it is NEVER at. It wavers between disappearing and hovering at low, reconnecting itself so frequently that downloading anything, even a short song from itunes, is a practice in patience and not throwing my laptop against a wall. Well, as I type this, it has quickly switched to 'very low'...apparently the wireless has mood swings. Maybe it has seasonal affective disorder and the dust storm is making it feel down. All I need to do is get it a bright light and sit it down in front of that light for 20 minutes a day. Maybe then it will be consistent enough for me to get a post written.

All silly hypotheticals aside, I did want to take advantage of its 'very good' reading and get some random thoughts out a.k.a. letting you know I'm still alive. And thats not to imply that I think you all still think of me as in this dangerous warzone or anything. Rather, I'm sure many of you suspect I may have started toying with extreme sports and heavy drug usage if only to give me something to do besides counting the many ways in which I could be bored to death here. How do people do this for their lifetime? HOW? I am immersed in this constant battle of security vs. happiness, and while I think it is really hard to be happy without feeling secure (I'm talking financially, roof-over-your-head sort of secure), it is probably not that hard to feel secure and not feel happy. I'm surrounded by people who live it every day, in my humble opinion. And I used to believe that all I needed was to be secure in my finances in order to be happy. That is not to say that I've completely changed my mind or that I am unhappy. But I really don't think I could call my life here a happy one. It is a settled one, a routine one, heck, even a content one. But happy? I don't want to attach such a great word to how I live. Small things make me happy, such as the birthday card I got from Elise yesterday, very appropriate by the way. Or when I treat myself to a diet coke or ice cream bar from the DFAC. Or talking on the phone to various family members and not getting interrupted by the early arrival of Flo or Dave. But these are really small things in very long days. And I'm not claiming I lived a life of sheer happiness while in the States, but at least those stretches of bliss were a bit longer and more under my control.

Wow, this is so not where I thought this post would take me. Free thought and all that. Basically, I am doing fine here, but dreaming of the day when I can drive for no reason, play board games, eat a cupcake (they don't have them here, and lets face it, cake is NOT the same), call one of you up for no reason except to talk about a weird commercial I just saw, have a steady internet connection, have a day off, sleep in and not feel guilty, eat beef that doesn't make my stomach churn later, work with people who are only 10 years older than me, own a dog, go to the movies....man, I can't wait.

Some random thoughts for you inspired by an interview with crazy ole' Matthew McHOTehey:

-I have about 10 books sharing my bed with me. It doesn't take more than the minimal effort to get up and put these on a shelf, but I haven't done that yet. Why? I have no clue.

-I love InStyle magazine (where the MM interview was) even though I can't afford their "budget buys" (seriously? A 200$ purse is a budget saver? Really?) and I naturally feel hideous next to the celebrity they are focusing on. But they are just so accessible to the average fashion lover (hear that Vogue? Your ad's may be pretty, but come on, most of us do not work in fashion), their layout is very asthetically pleasing (calling you out again Vogue), they have a great feature where they talk about planning the perfect theme party, and I just like the stuff they choose to feature.

-That latest Harry Potter trailer is CRAMAZING!!! I am trying to recall if any of the other movies trailers brought out such excitement for me, and I'm fairly positive they didn't. Maybe its because this book is the one I have the least problem with them toying around with. Maybe its because this is the first movie being released that isn't overshadowed by the fact that we STILL don't know how it ends. Maybe its all the great marketing and the well-made trailers. I don't know, but I get chills when I see the trailer and I cannot wait to be seated in an air-conditioned theatre with my big diet coke, my snuck-in goodies, and some family members around me watching this thing.

-I got approved for my R&R, which sadly does not involve a visit home, but wonderfully does involve two weeks in Greece. As Greece has been my numero uno foreign destination dream for some time now, my excitement is palpable. We are thinking of doing a couple of days in Athens, hop over to Mykonos for two days, then Paros for two days, then Santorini for a week, and then back to Athens for our last couple of days. I will probably get skin cancer for the amount of time I plan to spend sitting on a beach there. And I'm okay with that.

-Hugh Jackman twitters...I'm following him now...maybe this will one day lead to us meeting, I don't know. A girl can dream.

-Finished Watership Down. It is as good as Em and Joe say it is, so check it out folks. It took me a long while to get into it (in that I kept putting it down to watch Jon Stewart or to read a magazine or other book), but once I did, it was fantastic. Hoping that when I attempt the LOTR series, it will be a similar experience.

-Lost has been awesome (spoiler alert for the 2 people out there who don't watch this show)
...who knew that this season would have Sawyer becoming my second favorite character (ain't no one gonna oust Sayid from that spot, no matter how many children he shoots) and Juliet in the top 5? And Hurley's reference to Back to the Future? HILARZ!!! And so along my train of thought when it comes to time travel.

-Ordered 4 swimsuits from various places online in preparations for above stated R&R. Why so many? Well, I don't have one and I also don't have a handy mall nearby, so I need options and plan to return the other 3 when I try them all on. Sounds painful and I think it will be painful...all that shipping.

-Kyle has a pug puppy named Hugo and I am totes jealous/happy for him and his puppy. I really, really, want a dog, and I will admit to spending free time looking at petfinder.com for the future focus of my adoration. I don't even know if I will be able to own a dog next year, but I still look.

-No one seems to understand my fear of sea snakes here. I think they need to watch that part of Planet Earth where they are en masse, and where my fear truly started, only to be heightened by Lonesome Dove, when a guy falls into a nest of water moccasins and dies. Snakes that can go from land to water? WORST THING EVER!!! And did anyone read the story about the pythons that escaped from baggage and were on a commercial flight from Australia (or somewhere close by)? Apparently it isn't just a bad movie starring Samuel L, it is a horrific reality.

-I really like oatmeal...especially when I put strawberry jam and some french vanilla creamer in it. Give it a try, your taste buds will thank you.

Okay, I could keep going, but I have been absent from work far too long...have a great weekend!!

Oh, and Happy Birthday Sarah dear!!! I hope it is amazing and that your fish cooperate and that you eat lots of good food and have a great time. LOVE you lots, sarah-bearah.

A smidge of my European trip...

2009-04-10T18:57:00.016+03:00

Well, I believe most stories that have no real center are told better in person, so forgive me if I just post a few European pictures with some comments on them. My trip was a story without a center. Some amusing anecdotes, a lot of random observations, a bit of gushing, and some lessons learned. I'll give one of each before I start some pictures, and then if you want to hear more, you shall when we see each other again.

Amusing anecdote: Kyle and I had quite the easy time in London. We figured out the tube system immediately (by we, I mean Kyle, and I caught on by day three), we fit in pretty well, we enjoyed London for what London is (a tough contender for my new favorite city of all time...to be fair, I'll have to visit Chicago again and see if it holds up), we had it all under control. Feeling a bit arrogant at the ease we took to European life, we eagerly anticipated Paris and the challenges we would conquer there. We figured with our combined charm (once again, I mean Kyle's charm), his french abilities (he can pronounce things right, I can't), and a positive attitude, we wouldn't encounter any of that french rudeness we had heard about. Well, about an hour into Paris, at our first outside cafe, Kyle ordered us a couple of sodas and an appetizer to share in what I thought was really good french. That is, until the waiter walked away and mocked us as soon as he left, not attempting to lower his voice, probably assuming our french was so bad we wouldn't even understand when we were being insulted. We were able to laugh at our conceit at the idea of even trying to fit in there, and just accepted we would stick out like sore thumbs during the Paris portion of our trip. And we did. And Parisians/the French are as arrogant and distinct as I had heard and dismissed. I love them for that alone. And love them even more for their love of cinema and carb's.

Random observations:
-Europeans LOVE bicycles and hate helmets. Or maybe don't even know bike helmets exist. I think I saw one person in London wearing a bike helmet, and that was it. To be fair, I was most terrified for bicyclists in London than any other city, so good thing I saw the helmet there.
-Chocolate is better in Europe. I didn't even get any fancy, chocolatier chocolate. I'm talking average candy bars at a convenience store...its just better.
-Amsterdam had the best t.v. for a lazy American looking for an escape from culture. They had both BBC's (which meant wonderfully entertaining quiz shows in the evening), MTV, CNN, ESPN, and a couple other channels that had random episodes of shows like Suddenly Susan, which I had to take a picture of to show that in some parts of the world, this show is still relevant.
-London had the best subways, hands down. They had the most convenient seating (read: they didn't force you to bump knees with strangers), they had the clearest connections/maps, so clear, they were instinctual, they DIDN'T smell like urine, and they love them some escalators, which is wonderful for the walk-heavy tourist or the person carting their heavy luggage to the train station. Oh, and they have this pleasant voiced british lady saying as you got off "Mind the Gap", which I loved so much I got the super touristy t-shirt that says that same thing.
-Cathedrals are cold. I think I've already gone on about this, but I feel it needs to be mentioned again. I mean, dang. I get that they are historic and all that, but invest in some space heaters or something. Jeez.
-Peeps in Amsterdam love them some french fries, so I love the peeps in Amsterdam. It doesn't take a genius to figure out why quick, convenient, fried food is so popular, so I'll just enjoy the fringe benefits.
-There are TONS of beggars in Paris. And shifty characters looking to scam you in Amsterdam. And lots of street musicians in Austria.

Gushing moment:
One of my favorite moments of my trip was definitely one of my most blatent tourist moments. Mom had brought along The Sound of Music for us to enjoy on my portable dvd player while we traveled through Austria. Well, we had a 4 hour drive ahead of us from Graz to Salzburg and figured we would just watch it then. But it caught the eye of a few other bus passengers, and through the graciousness of our hosts/bus driver (our dvd didn't work in the foriegn dvd player, so they found their own copy), we were able to view the movie on the t.v.'s above our seats while we enjoyed the drive. And while we were enjoying the movie, we were driving through the most gorgeous scenery ever. I have driven through many places, and have many more to go, but I think I can say without a doubt, the drive to Salzburg is one of the top three most scenic drives ever. It was breathtaking. I'm not even a mountains obsessor like most others, but I may have to convert. SO, if any of you go to Austria, shell out the dough, rent the car, and drive through the countryside for a bit. You won't be able to watch Sound of Music at the same time, but surely you can get your hands on the soundtrack.

Lessons learned: I had to teach myself to not stress over all the things I didn't do. There is simply not enough time to enjoy everything Paris has to offer. The sheer thought of it overwhelms me. I just had to accept I would return and visit other new things. So we didn't stress that Versailles didn't happen, or that we didn't really explore any of the other districts outside of the center ones, or really go shopping in some of the fabulous stores. We did see the Eiffel tour, walked along the Seine, the Champ de Elsyees (I so know I got that one wrong), went to the Louvre, ate lots of bread and cheese. We just enjoyed our time. And it was the same with all the other cities to which we went. No, I didn't see any of the royal residences in London, or get up close to the Big Ben, but I did get to go to the famous street market on Portebello Road in Notting Hill, and I did get to see Billy Elliot in Victoria at the famous Victoria Opera house (I might have that name wrong, it might be the Albert and Victoria Theatre or something), and I ate fish and chips in a pub called The Three Greyhounds in Soho. In Amsterdam, we missed out on the museums, but loved our canal tour and visiting the flower market and eating french fries every day covered in flavored mayonaise. In Austria, we saw a lot in the short amount of time we had, and so I had to be okay with not just sitting for 2 hours on a street cafe in Graz, or going to the opera in Vienna. We did use our free time well there and went to the Belvedere museum and saw the Klimt exhibit, which was completely worth it. It is as breathtaking as it promised to be. And in Munich, I definitely did not get enough time there and I cannot WAIT to return and fully appreciate it. I did get to see their famous Glockenspeil, shop a bit, and finally eat my steak (long story short, it had been 5 months since I had a decent steak, so to have it for my last meal before I left, worth it on so many levels).

Basically, many may focus on what I missed out on, but I'm going to focus on what I got to experience. And it was a heck of a lot.

So, that went a bit longer than I anticipated. I'm way too wordy. I'll try to tone it down when explaining the following pictures.

Picture 1: Kyle in the quintessential symbol of England, a red telephone booth. I think he's going for "Wow, they still have these things on cords!" look.

Picture 2: Me at the Tower of London, posing on the backdrop of the Tower Bridge. This was the farthest we ventured in London, as we mainly stuck to the center area.

Picture 3: I clearly don't need to explain where we are at here...just enjoying the view.
Picture 4: Posing along the banks of the Seine, along which we walked towards the Eiffel tower/Louvre and such. It reeked of urine this close to the river. Clearly, others appreciation of the beauty of Paris was more literal than ours.

Picture 5: This picture just makes me laugh. Walking in Amsterdam, just happened upon these large shoes perfect for posing.

Picture 6: Posing at one tiny part of the enormous flower market. Despite the early spring chill, there were still lots of flowers to be had.

Picture 7: Mom at the summer palace of the Austrian Monarchy. Can't remember how to spell their last names...wikipedia that if you really want to know.

Picture 8: Mom had just eaten baby cow...thought you all should know why she looks so evilly delighted with herself.
Picture 9: Posing in front of one of the Sound of Music landmarks, though without 7 children singing and marching around me, it loses its context. Just trust me.
Picture 10: At a fortress at the top of Salzburg. This view doesn't even begin to do Austria justice...just a small taste of an exceptionally beautiful country.
Picture 11: Mom and I on the last day of traveling, my birthday. Just another gorgeous day in Salzburg. It must be said that it did rain that night, thus further proving the curse that is my birthday and the 28 year record of it raining on that day.

There are tons more pictures, but they are better shown with me giving a running commentary, so if you have an interest, let me know and we'll hang when I come back home.

Quick note...

2009-03-29T12:51:00.002+03:00

Guten tag familien. (Steven, feel free to correct my absent article there). Forgive a possible error laden post due to the fact I am using a german keyboard which confuses me to no end. Also forgive lack of details in that I have only paid for an hour and I think it is more than halfway up. As I type this, mom should be flying back to the states, sarah and kirsti should be home with my car completely unscathed from their adventures, steven and tamara should be back from AZ, and others should be doing other things that i don't know about because i have been incommunicado for almost 3 weeks.

I just want you all to know that it has been a great month, both at home and here abroad, and I am already anticipating my deep depression that will commence in approximately 48 hours at not being home with ya'll but rather in Kuwait and then Tikrit. So, to circumvent that a bit, I have already bought two accessories for my upcoming Greece trip (end of May, methinks), and plan to rewatch Gilmore Girls upon my landing at Speicher. If anyone can get me out of a funk, or at least help me ride it out, its Lauren Graham.

Had a great time with mom, though after the 1,000th picture I have declared my intent to vacation with Dad next as long as he promises not to join the 21st century and get a digital camera. Just kidding mom...but seriously, she took a lot of pix, ya'll. Austria was amazing and weather was great, except in all the blasted catholic churches, or as I was corrected in the last one I went into, cathedrals. Well, excuse me, miss catholic tour overseer. Seriously, those these churches are stunningly beautiful, I think I can go a while without seeing another one for at least 6 months.

I will detail it a bit more, but after two weeks here, London was my favorite city to visit. Now before you all judge me and assume it is because they speak english there, that has very little to do with it. I mean, Kyle and I didn't learn ANY dutch knowing that everyone in Amsterdam spoke English, so the language is not the deciding factor. It is just so cool. Great vibe, so many different areas, easily navigatable transportation that did not smell like urine and was not covered in trash, tons to do, all of it. I have loved everywhere I have been and if I'm lucky, will get to return multiple times in my life, but London is at the top of my list. I could live there, high cost of living be danged.

It is drizzly and cold here, so my umbrella has finally gotten some use. Isn't that crazy? No rain to deal with until my second to last day here. The gods were smiling on me. I think I'm off to a tour of Dachau, so I'll end it here. That is, if I don't cave and go to my hotel room for some warm socks. I'm hoping I'm tough enough.

More to come...

I totes want to vom in my mouth

2009-02-26T21:16:00.004+03:00

I know, classy title. But "I'm in Kuwait!" seemed anti-climactic since its really just a stopover into happyville, and frankly, its not like I haven't led with that before. Seriously though, ya'll, I totes want to vom in my mouth. I am almost quite literally just off the plane/bus and I still feel insanely nauseated (is that the right tense? I remember being constantly corrected b/c I would say I feel nauseous, and that would be the wrong way to say it...you know what? Screw it. You know what I mean), to the point where I am slowly sipping orange gatorade I just bought at the 24 hour PX and hoping I don't make a spectacle of myself here at the internet cafe.

You know how I love to be dramatic and claim that something I just went through is the worst thing in the world to ever go through, and how I would do a thousand other torturous tasks if it meant I never had to do that one again? Well, brace yourselves, b/c I'm about to make another bold declaration. I mean, it is HORRIBLE. I swore I would bring water, breathe deeply, and think positive thoughts to NOT feel sick, but no go. It is like the least fun amusement park ride in the world, and you are stuck on said ride for 2 hours, smelling overwhelming smells of gas fumes and military plane...something, sitting in the most uncomfortable seat ever, wearing a heavy helmet that DOESN'T fit, so it keeps sliding down your head, wearing obtrusive earplugs, no stretching room b/c you are packed to the gills, and in the extreme temperature zone (either too hot or too cold) and sometimes, under a crack in the plane where you get water dripped on you when the plane jerks, which is ALL THE TIME. Wow. Yeah. That is flying military air in a horrible, horrible nutshell. And I'm sitting there, almost praying my back goes out so it will distract me from the cold sweats and the overwhelming need to vomit while weeping. Why the weeping? Well, mainly b/c I fear it would turn into a Goonies/Chunk situation where my vomit inspires the hordes to vomit and it all escalates rapidly to the point where everyone hates me and I'm covered in my own barf. Which, would not be pleasant b/c I had a roast beef sandwich for lunch and I fear that wouldn't be the best upchuck to wear for an already miserable flight. I did not vomit, but like the last two times I flew, it was truly touch and go. And I think it was more touch this time than the other times.

I've been told there are doggie bags b/c spewing is a semi-common occurance, but I have yet to see one. I see plenty of oxygen bags which do not look user-friendly at all, so I will totes be that person who needs someone to assist her in case the need for them arises, but I do not ever see any doggie bags. Therefore, I am stealing one from one of my commercial flights and hording it. I think what makes experience all the worse is not knowing where I could barf, with the exception of all over myself/in the helmet I need to wear on my head. So maybe having a viable option will make me feel better. I also plan on taking not one, but two of my emergency muscle relaxants so I will possibly be almost comatose for the flight. Hey, you can't yark in your sleep, right? I know I should be ashamed of my planned prescription drug use, but considering the fact that flexiril is almost over-the-counter with how tame it is, and also considering how MISERABLE I am, I'm not ashamed. Feel free to call the A&E folks for the show Intervention (which I kinda love). I just don't want to have to experience that ever again, and knowing I do is almost enough to make me never return to Iraq, abandoning my laptop, at least 10 books I haven't read, my LOTR trilogy, and my series of Gilmore Girls on dvd. Almost.

Just to beat this dead horse into the ground and give ya'll some perspective, things I once said I would never want to repeat, but am now willing to repeat if it meant I never had to take a MIL-AIR flight again:

-Dentist visit, including fillings (but there is a slight condition on this...it has to be with Dr. Mathis who is really good at it compared to the masochist I went to before coming here)

-Allergic reaction to aloe when my back is sunburnt (remember that HORRIFIC experience mom?)

-Being sunburnt to the point where I have blisters on my neck (yeah, it happened after three days of no sunscreen at Johnson Shut-Ins immediately followed by an all day softball tournament with more no sunscreen...my shirt stuck to my oozing blisters)

-Strep throat so bad I have to spit in a bowl b/c I can't swallow

-That horrible Kuwait airport experience where I thought I would either have to live at the airport, or accidentaly agree to be a mid-east slave to one of the guys leering at me (Offensively put, I know)

-Having my tire blow out the night before my sisters wedding and having to walk to a pay phone, with my flip-flop breaking, so having to walk BAREFOOT on gravel/sharp sticks to a dirty gas station and pull my mom away from much more important things to pick me up

I know I could come up with more, and interestingly enough, I couldn't bring myself to put down "experience the massive anxiety of asking someone to recommend me for grad school." Maybe that time is still too fresh in my mouth to use it. I'm sure shortly following any of the aforementioned experiences, I wouldn't have quite the perspective I have now. Who knows? Right now, I'm merely consumed with thoughts of how I will kill time for the next 72 hours, and where I can go vomit that doesn't smell like sewer.

Ode to Conan & Oscar

2009-02-22T18:30:00.003+03:00

Hello all! Wow, it has been a great weekend for pop culture. I've been attached to EW.com for the past three days, reading updates, making comments, viewing videos. I speak of not only the Oscars, but of Conan O'Brien's last episode of Late Night before he makes the move to the Tonight Show. All in all, what a great weekend.

First, lets talk Oscar...

If you've been keeping up on my twitter posts, you know I've been experiencing some crazy insomnia lately. Before this happened, I had plans to go to bed early on Sunday night, wake up at 3 a.m. to catch the live broadcast of the Oscars, and not miss out on one bit. But then that insomnia hit, and I was seriously doubting my plan to get up early if I was actually asleep...not to mention the fact that I might not even wake up. You would think that after a few nights of seriously deprived sleep, you body would finally collapse. You would think. I know I held those misconceptions whilst experiencing jet lag, so the fact that I deluded myself this time around is pretty foolish. Last night rolls around, and like clockwork, I'm up for hours. I think I finally fell asleep around midnight, pretty much planning on missing the Oscars. But the insomnia worked in my favor. I woke up around 3 a.m., tossing and turning, and couldn't go back to sleep. Huzzah! So I turned on the t.v. and began enjoying the show.

Random thoughts (very free-flow, so I apologize):
-Ick to E!'s red carpet coverage. But not surprised.
-Delighted to see ABC got Tim Gunn to be one of the hosts for their red carpet coverage. He is truly a class act, and makes me miss my Project Runway.
-LOVED the opening number. I was grinning from ear to ear. Yeah, the lyrics weren't always funny, but they were well organized, it was energetic, and Hugh did a great job bringing down the house (and props to Anne Hathaway for her pipes).
-Found a LOT of the transitions and segways very awkward, made the show feel unorganized at times. I think the editor (steven, correct me if it's some other behind the scenes guru) must have been dipping into the champagne.
-ADORED the acting presentations. They had 5 previous winners giving a short monologue describing the nominated's performance and giving them a bit of time to shine. Yes, I did get a slightly sick feeling imagining how long the show could go if they did it for every category, but they didn't, and man, it worked for me. Made it more personal, great to see past winners (except Cuba...seriously? Tim Robbins wasn't doing anything? Or George Clooney?), and just classily done.
-Found myself "meh-ing" about pretty much all the winners. I haven't seen anything except The Dark Knight (which, nice shout-0ut to the ridiculousness of it not getting nominated in the opening number).
-Loved Tina Fey's and Steve Martin's presentation. They were hilarious and fun to watch.
-Hated Jack Black and Jen Aniston's presentation. They kept cutting to Brangelina, which was tacky and just ridiculous.
-Found most of the set pretty, but some of the props were odd. Can't be as bad as the Emmy's were though, eh?
-Really, really wanted to love the Baz Luhrman musical number, but, once they brought out the High School Musical kids, and the kids from Mamma Mia, I was out. Hugh still sang/danced great, but it was just awkwardly placed in the show, a bit overdone at parts, underdone at other parts, bad song choices, and just felt like a bit of pandering with the performers chosen.
-I love me a good montage, but still found the categorical montages a bit off. And allowed crappy movies to take notice...lame-ish.
-Really liked them lumping the boring categories together, like with Will Smith. A time saver so they could focus on the classy.
-Liked the In Memorium for the most part, with the song adding a personal touch, but it was hard to read the names and not get dizzy with the fast paced/edited clips. But man, Paul Newman was truly a great actor. He will be missed. Same with Paul Schofield. I'm like JD from Scrubs when he says "God bless all Molly's everywhere" but replace Molly with Paul.
-Though I haven't seen any of the films and know nothing about performances, I was secretly glad Mickey Rourke didn't win b/c looking at his face makes me want to vom a little in my mouth. Harsh, I know.
-Read above, but still delighted Kate Winslet won. I really like that gal and find her charming, gorgeous and truly talented. AND, I laugh b/c she was right in her guest appearance on Extras...it just takes a "bloody movie about the Holocaust" (paraphrased) to win an Oscar.
-Liked how they used past winners to tie into the nominated best pictures, emphasizing that great movies follow basic themes, twist them up, and give new reflection to them. Really liked it. And miss Steven Speilberg winning oscars...rumor is he's got an Abe Lincoln biopic in the works with Liam Neeson rumored to be the tall guy. DELIGHTED.

I think that's it for my notes. I have spent the last couple of days reading all info about how the Oscars were recieved and if anyone enjoyed them as much as I did. Well, almost everyone universally hated the musical number, but everything else was pretty split. Whether it be Ben Stiller's scathing portrayel of Joaquin Pheonix, or the way they presented the acting trophies, it's a mixed bag. I'm delighted to say that the heavy majority of viewers/fans, was thrilled with Hugh Jackman's performance (Oprah included...makes me love Oprah that much more b/c she was the first to call him and congratulate him on the Oscar gig) and think he should return. I do as well. I have sooo much more to say about this, but it'll come out better in a convo rather than me verbally exploding all over this post.

Moving on...Conan O'briens last show. I was incredibly happy when it was announced he would be replacing Jay Leno as the Tonight Show host. I can't think of anyone more talented in the late night realm. Yes, Craig Ferguson is charming (it's that accent), and yes, David Letterman is a classic, and yes, Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert have me in stitches on a daily basis. But when all factors are taken into account, this was an easy decision. What I DON'T understand is NBC's decision to appease stupid, not funny, sexist and uncreative Jay Leno's massive ego and give him a nightly spot in primetime in front of Conan. BAD choice NBC. I think I can pretty much cut your network for my primetime enjoyment if that's what you think is watchable. I mean, Jay is NOT funny. At all. Not even close. It's painful and I cannot even stomach watching him when there is nothing else on and all I want to do is veg out in front of the t.v. I have been known to watch that horrible MTV show Next in place of watching Jay. It's that bad. And the people I work with not only do not think Conan is funny, but they think Jay is hilarious. Who are these people? How do we communicate on a daily basis without me just screaming constantly to block out the sounds of their voices? If you are a fan of Jay, now is NOT the time to share b/c I will judge you mercilessly. That's fine that Conan is not everyone's cup of tea. Some people don't like witty, self-deprecating, creative and realistic humor. I can abide by that. But I cannot, and will not, be okay with Jay fans. Makes me sick.

Back to Conan, so yes, it's a smidge insulting that they are pandering to Jay like this. But Conan is a true class act, thanking him and many others in his final speech, almost choking up (causing me to choke up) and just ending the show on a great note, bringing in our old friend Andy Richter (who hilariously said "I told you you would never make it without me!!!"), giving us great montages, and showing Conan's favorite clip "Oldtime Baseball" which I had never seen, and man, was I missing out. Sidenote, was that last sentence the worst run-on sentence ever or what? I'd fix it, but I think I just set a record.

Conan, you will be missed at the 11:35 slot, and I worry the Tonight Show might send you down an irreversible path that leads you to a fate similar to Jay's (though I don't know if Jay was EVER funny), but I will still tune in and hope that you bring us classic bits similar to these (my personal favorites):

-Walker Texas Ranger lever
-Abe Bagoda
-You traveling ANYWHERE (comic gold)
-In the Year 2000
-If they Mated
-Anytime you are doing a bit with producer Jordan
-Your string dance
-Your nerd impersonation "I know..."
-Your stint at UPS
-Your reaction to situations out of your control, i.e. writers strike, blizzards, NYC's blackout

Feel free to share your favorite moments from either the Oscars or Conan...I know I've missed many things, so I eagerly anticipate reminding.

Photo Tag and the Killer Cold

2009-02-15T19:54:00.003+03:00

There is something about being sick that is inherently selfish. I kinda like it. I mean, your health is down and no one can blame you for taking time to ignore everything else except babying yourself. Moreover, if you have a loved one nearby, they support this effort in focusing all TLC on you. So usually, if I get a cold or something similar, I accept it as natures way of telling me to slow down and take many, many naps. But I don't think that cheery outlook is going to work this time. I have come down with what I'm dramatically terming the "Killer Cold that ate my face"...this title was inspired by this cold making my face ache. Like I ran into a brick wall and didn't break anything, but sure as heck bruised the majority of my face. Moreover, its affected my ability to take all those naps. I can't breathe through my nose, and breathing through my mouth tickles my sensitive/not-yet-sore throat to where it keeps me awake. Oh, and when I do manage to sleep, the Sri Lankan room cleaners/maintenance guys are bugging me to clean my room or something. The first time, I gave them some privacy and went into work where I just sat there wanting to die a little bit. The second time, I think we misunderstood each other and they left for parts unknown and I attempted to go back to sleep. The third time, I was like, screw it, and let them in and promptly put on my sleep mask, burrowed under my covers and let them have their way with my room while they drilled...something. I'm sure they thought I was crazy. Whatev's. So here I am, staying up to watch Lost, still wanting to die while my head threatens to explode and my nose rubbed raw from continual snot emissions, switching from hot to cold to hot about every 20 minutes, and really wishing I could get some of that aforementioned TLC. But since I can't, I'll just lay here and feel sorry for myself.

On a much more positive note, I've gotten a couple of amazing care packages from some dear family members in the past month or so. Thank you all of you. Now I just need one of you to ship yourselves over and come baby me while I act like the world revolves around me. Seriously, they are so good. I'm going to need each and every one of you to live in a warzone in the future so I can attempt to reciprocate. Get on that. I think I have one last package (of my own doing) arriving before my R&R in two weeks. TWO WEEKS!!! That is CRAZY!!! I mean, there were definitaly times I felt like I was going to go crazy and end up that stapler-obsessed guy from Office Space if I had to stay here one minute longer. And that might still happen. But the past two weeks have flown by, and I'm fairly positive the next two weeks will as well, and very soon, I will be hanging out with the Southerland clan, forcing Joe to teach me the same French phrase I won't remember, playing with my HUGE nephew (no, that's not a fat joke...seriously, that boy has some long arms and legs...when did he become a little man?) and shooting the breeze/psycho-analyzing with Emily. This will of course involve some Jimmy Johns and/or CPK. Just sayin'.

Lastly, I was tagged in a post by Tamara earlier this week and totes did not even notice until I visited it for a second time. Funsies!!! I'm not going to post the explanation b/c I'm not going to tag anyone since you alls were already tagged and/or know to what I refer. And, I can't follow the 5th picture in the 5th folder rule hardcore b/c my fifth folder has no pictures in it, so I pretended it didn't exist and present to you the following:

This is a picture taken about a year ago (I think??) by our photographer extraordinaire, Emily, in front of The Pasta House after a delicious Saturday brunch. Yes, you read me right...The Pasta House not only has a brunch, but they serve it on Saturdays as well as Sundays, a rarity in brunch world. And I think they started on the brunch thing to compete with other CWE eateries and their brunches. I don't recall what I had, but I'm sure it was delicious. Kyle was in town form some random weekend, and this was the best way to visit with the Southerland crew and get a meal in...and I'm fairly positive we went straight to The Cupcakery after this. We are a group ruled by our stomachs and the enticement of walking there so we feel like we've burned off some calories. I miss that necklace I'm wearing, as it was misplaced by my friend Jenna in Wichita, and then Kyle was supposed to pick it up at the store she left it at and never did. Boy owes me a necklace.

Mmmm, that was a good memory. Thanks Em for taking pictures of the good times in our lives!

Boring Post Warning...

2009-02-12T19:06:00.003+03:00

Okay, I realize that I not only failed to sell the following post, but I attached a warning to it as well. I just thought you alls should know this entry may not entertain the masses (and really, how egotistical of me to assume my other posts entertain the masses) as it is related to the latest in sports information. So fatheaded minnow, this one is for you (read the comments of another Lambson blog to get to whom I refer). And anyone else who cares about my musings.

First off, the KU-MU game. Oh what a treat to discover they were airing it on ESPN as part of their rivalry week (what a great week) and I was able to watch most of it. As we all know, the time to watch this match-up is when KU is visiting MU, if only b/c that's when MU stands a chance. Doesn't matter the current skill level of either team, 9 times out of 10, they give us an amazing game that has me at the edge of my seat, if only b/c for most of it, I'm not even sure who I'm rooting for. Often, if MU is just atrocious and has no post-season hopes, it's for KU b/c I want their rank to be higher. Other times, I'm rooting for MU b/c KU can stand to take the hit and I happen to like particular players on MU's team, like in the year of Derick Grimm and Jason Sutherland. This year, I was rooting for both. Each possession had me screaming defense, throwing up my hands at a hastily shot 3-pointer, and glorying in the beauty of a perfect fast break. And so it was rather easy to celebrate MU's win, if only b/c they were the home team, they were the lower ranked than KU, thereby making them the underdog, and KU, while a very talented group, will more than likely not win the championship again this year, so I can just bask in their growth as a young team. An extra treat was hearing the announcers say "Columbia, Missouri" and picturing being there in a short amount of time.

Man, I think I can unequivocally state that college basketball is the best sport around. I love many other sports, but it's the combination of conference play, a season that only lasts 4 months, raw talent being molded by honorable coaches, the fact that money is not the reason for the season (at least not openly like with all pro sports) and the perfect post-season contest, that make this sport so spectacular.

Which brings me to my next favorite sport, baseball. While watching the only rivalry to beat MU-KU this morning, Duke-UNC, they happened to mention the A-Rod scandal. It was near the end of the game when it was clear that Hansbrough was going to get his fourth win at Duke, that Dick Vitale and some other guy (can anyone remember any other announcer when the overwhelming personality of Vitale is around?) brought up the A-Rod steroid usage. They stated how disappointing it was, how Alex has claimed to not really know what he was using, how he can save his career, yadda, yadda, yadda. I agree with most of what they had to say, basically that he needs to donate a huge chunk of money to charity, he needs to be willing to scratch off the homers from his Texas years from his record, and various other things. I've read many columns about this whole situation, and some seem to imply that everyone pretty much assumed he was using. I beg to differ. I don't claim to adore A-Rod, nor have I followed his career religiously. But even with my limited knowledge, I would like to think I could have ventured a hypothesis that he was one of the users if it was that clear to everyone else. Am I wrong? I mean, he never bulked up like Bonds or Cansenco, which was inspired on his part. Maybe I'm living in naive world, where someone of that talent wouldn't have to rely on something so dirty to keep him at the top of his game. Is it wrong that a small part of me is happy to hear this news? I HATE what it continues to do to the sport of baseball, just making that scarlet letter even bigger. But as a huge Derek Jeter fan, it's a bit of validation to know that the person Derek is constantly compared to is not the perfect athlete everyone claimed he was. I know, petty. I mean, in the worlds eyes, Derek has already won. Doesn't matter that A-rod is the highest paid Yankee, New York and all Yankees fans love Derek so much more, he has the rings, he has an assured place in the hall of fame (which A-rod may no longer have). I don't know. I'm meandering here without a point. I guess my basic statement is that I'm hugely disappointed that A-Rod turned out to be a user, I'm angry that the unions and owners still haven't done enough to stop the rampent steroid use, I'm hopeful that the Yankees can get past it this season, I'm hugely relieved it wasn't about a player I love (that would be a crushing blow).

Last note...during the same sports discussion Vitale had while Duke was throwing up prayers against a well-honed North Carolina, they mentioned Favres retirement from football and how they wished he had gone out as a Packer, as that's where he spent almost his whole career. And it was mentioned that they would hate to see Derek Jeter in any other uniform than a Yankees uniform. I couldn't agree more. Yes, it hurt when Roy Williams went to UNC, and yes, I was a smidge bitter for that summer...but, it makes sense. It's where his roots are. And frankly, I think all parties are quite happy right now. KU got their championship with Bill Self, a great guy, Roy got his with UNC, and still had the class and loyalty to root for KU last year when his own team lost to them in the previous game...I'd like to think we are all content and over any negative feelings we may have once had. But if Derek Jeter goes to any other team, it would truly break my heart. I think the only way I would at all be okay with it is if he followed Joe Torre. I'm still hurting over Steinbrenner's idiotic move to not keep Torre, but I don't hold it at all against good ole' Joe. And the Dodgers are a good team to coach instead. I mean, it's not like he went to Boston. Maybe it's foolish to wish that Derek never leaves the Yankees, especially when the almighty dollar rules all professional sports these days. But I'm going to continue hoping that he does. That he stays as classy as he has been his whole career, and not cling to a career long over, and not seek out money above loyalty and legend, and stay in those pinstripes.

Alternate Realities

2009-01-25T19:00:00.002+03:00

Well, I haven't had much to write about as of late. Nothing has really changed since my last post, I'm still stressed, still anxiously awaiting my R&R, still wishing grad school didn't make me sick with anxiety. Therefore, I haven't written. But then I noticed it's been two weeks!!! Where did time go? As anticipated, this month is flying by. It's not without it's never-ending trials, but at least they are going by quickly.

What else is happening with me? Well, the idea of life paths has been on my mind. Many reasons for this:
-I'm reading a book that involves time-travel...a nice brain candy read that won't necessarily enrich me but does make me think
-Planning for the future, i.e. grad school
-Learning through slightly convoluted methods about where past friends are at in their lives right now
-Trying to figure out what makes me truly happy
-Visiting Oprah.com wayyyyy too much

Stuff like this always seems to pop up in my mind right as I'm trying to go to sleep, and b/c the sleep Gods are cruel, I end up fixated for the next hour with my mind racing on these and other topics. Quick side note, my itunes shuffle just picked the Dixie Chicks "Taking the Long Way Around" to play, a perfect song for this post. The point I'm trying to make is wondering about the "what-if's." I was just telling mom last week that if I hadn't gotten myself into the financial crisis that I did all those years ago, I would have finished my degree at Northwest, I would have more than likely switched majors to speech communications, gone immediately to grad school as a grad assistant to a speech team (I was leaning towards K-State...I know, kind of a betrayal to my KU loving core, but KU doesn't have a speech team), and then most likely taught at a small college or high school, coaching a speech team. I was so close to that fate. I know I would have been happy, but at this point in my life, I can't imagine it anymore. Going back further, what if I had gone to KU? I was planning on majoring in religious studies, which would have probably led to a study abroad for a semester or two (I love eastern religions...especially Buddhism), and then grad school after that b/c honestly, who could get a job with an undergraduate degree in religious studies, and then who knows? More than likely, teaching somewhere on the subject. And what's so funny to me is that now I'm trying to put myself on a path that will probably end in teaching, but this time Sociology/gender studies.

So all of these paths that I'm trying to take or almost took, end in me teaching. Isn't that funny? I never thought I would be a teacher. I remember my childhood dreams were pretty typical--marine biologist. If there was anything else I wanted to be, I can't remember. It wasn't until high school that a fascination with psychology began, and combined with an ineptitude towards biology, it was clear my dream of working with dolphins was not going to happen. And who knows? I could still do psychology. If I go for a PhD, I would really like to get one in Social Psychology, combining the best of sociology and psychology. But once again, the end of that rainbow is more than likely in academia. Not that there's anything wrong with that...

Okay, so getting to my point again, I can't help but wonder what other jobs I would seek if I could live my life over again. There are so many. And they fall into two very different categories: realistic and dream. For instance, my top 5 job choices that I could honestly see myself doing, and who knows, might end up doing if something else happens in my life to wrench my path in another direction, are as follows:
1) Low-level politician. I'm talking member of the school board, working on city council, something that still encourages third parties and grassroots movements.
2) Journalist. I did have an interest in that for a year in junior high, and I still think I could do it. Yeah, that journalism degree is pretty important. But I think I could have gotten that and gone into print journalism (my preferred medium).
3) Work for the U.N./Amnesty International/something with Human Rights. This would involve me honing up on some foreign languages, but I could do it.
4) Lawyer. Preferably environmental or animal rights. It wouldn't be about money at all for me, but about being part of the change I want. Or a judge.
5) Bookstore owner. I know, kinda cliche. Who doesn't want to try to recreate the library gift Belle gets from the Beast in any way they can?

Hmm, that was harder than I thought. I know I'm going to think of a few that I completely forgot, but that's what the comments section is for. These were pretty free-form though, not over-thought or anything, so I find it interesting that most of these involve trying to be a significant part of world change. Maybe it stems from my desire to be world dictator.

For funsies, my top 5 dream jobs (they are dream jobs b/c I either do not have the skills to succeed in that field without working myself to the bone, which I'm inherently against, as I love a bit of relaxation here and there, or jobs that are next to impossible to get/maybe don't exist):

1) Marine Biologist/Zoologist/Veterinarian: I love, love, love animals. Wait, strike that a bit. I mainly love mammals, and to be able to work with them as a career, oh, I would be so happy. If I were a marine biologist, I would specialize in dolphins (natch). If I were a zoologist, I would specialize in primates, and work on national geographic documentaries and such. If I were a veteranarian, I would specialize in puppies, but only ones I could save. I don't want to ever have to put down a puppy.
2) Writer for Entertainment Weekly. I would like to work in all sections of Entertainment Weekly, but if I could truly have my way, I would have a monthly column like Stephen King and rant about various things in entertainment. And I would contribute to the other issues, like reviewing a t.v. show or movie or book here or there, but mainly, rant about why my tastes are better than yours. First up, why there should be a Veronica Mars movie/attempt at a show again, and how it should end. Or a Gilmore Girls movie.
3) Travel writer, light on the writing, heavy on the dining of ethic foods and laying on the beach. I would love to be paid to travel the world. I'll even go to stupid ole' Australia, which has more poisonous spiders than any other continent, as long as I could meet Hugh Jackman. He has a favorite Sunday breakfast spot in Sydney that I'm making Kathy stalk when she goes to Sydney in two weeks. But if he leaves his wife for her, I'm ending the friendship. He's mine if he isn't his wife's.
4) Para-Psychologist: That's right, a ghost hunter. I love the idea of other-worldly phenomenon's, but I don't want it to be as extreme as Supernatural, and not as crime fighting as X-Files, so I'll just hunt out paranormal phenomenon. Man would I love to have a true paranormal experience.
5) Cupcake taster...J/K, b/c they would make me taste spice cake ones and I hate spice cakes. No, my fifth would be a chef. I would love to make cooking my only job, but not if it means I have to be open to eating all things. I will not ever eat snake or other reptiles, and that challenge on third season Top Chef that involved unique animals for cooking, well, it made me want to vomit. I would just want to own a small cafe where I can be creative, bake/cook what I want, and maybe hone it into a Food Network show where I finally get to meet Paula Deen, Ida Garten, and Sandra Lee, who I know is half drunk b/c she is always making a cocktail on her show. And we would all cook dinner for one another, and take turns driving Sandra home, and have fabulous kitchens with islands and fresh herb gardens and fresh flower arrangements. That would be amazing.

So this was also a bit free-form when thinking of my dream jobs, and once again, I find it interesting that a nice chunk of them involve me trying to be creative. I say trying b/c I am definitely lacking in the creative field. Left-brainer all the way. I get frustrated with creativity, b/c I feel both overwhelmed and completely uninspired when met with a creative challenge. I don't know about writing, but cooking is one area where I feel even slightly creative (thought I am a pretty rigid recipe follower...that darn left-brain is in charge).

Well everyone, did this post leave you confused with my messy train of thought, my unfinished arguments, my hatred of eating snake and spice cakes? Or did it get you thinking of "what if" or wondering if you were given another life to try out, what would you do with it? Assume all other factors remain the same, your childhood environment, you basic personality characterisitics, your values. What would you be? What would you dream to be?

Feel free to share in the comments, or feel free to disregard this post completely. I understand completely the importance of making our one path as meaningful as possible, so spend your time where it makes you happiest.

A martyr complex like none other.

2009-01-11T19:03:00.002+03:00

It is the end of a very long day. It's been raining all day long, but cold enough to make it even more miserable. To get to the DFAC on days like this is a practice in your hopping skills. And since mine are subpar (I have remarkably bad balance), I've had wet feet all day. Add this to the constant work and the increasing stress of grad school (I'm not even in, and I can't imagine being more stressed than I am at the moment), and I'm soooo ready for today to be over. But sadly, the same problems will still be there tomorrow. Sleep may restore muscles and brain cells, but it doesn't solve problems. Someone needs to work on that.

Anyways, I've been thinking about negativity a lot lately. Let me preface this by saying that one, I recognize I'm a glass half-empty kind of gal, and am the first to admit that naive optimism makes me cringe, and then mock. Moreover, I've been known to play the martyr (not the good kind) from time to time. There's something very enticing about punishing oneself for the view of everyone, and in turn, making them feel guilty that you are in that position. It's a HORRIBLE characteristic of mine, I know, and I like to think it's gotten smaller and smaller as I've grown. (If it hasn't, I kinda don't want to know right now...wait for a better month to tell me). BUT, I don't think I even come close to the constant martyrdom/negativity that is Flo.

For the most part, I enjoy Flo's company, random remarks, movie knowledge, and easy friendship. But, a more martyred woman I have yet to meet. And it's kinda a bummer. You can't help those who won't help themselves; while I may play the martyr from time to time, I do like to think I don't complain without a resolution to change that thing or at least shut up about it. She is not the same. Long story short, we have a new E&C chief, and he rubs people the wrong way. Flo especially. And she isn't without reason here. But, not only do the side complaints get really old to listen to, she also now refuses to accept the small olive branches that have been offered out of sheer stubbornness/martyr complex. I can sympathize, but for only so long. So lately, my office has gotten a smidge toxic in the attitudes, and it's wearing on one's soul when you are there every day, all day. I will definitely be more in need of this upcoming R&R than I was of the last one.

Also, some may have already heard, but I directly have suffered from this new tinge of negativity going around. After a delightful conversation with Emily on the phone last week, as I was leaving to go to the gym, Flo stops me. Apparently, my conversations with friends and family go on too long, and it's disturbing the office. Now mind you, she claims she's speaking on behalf of our E&C chief and wanted to warn me so I know not to talk when he's in the office. I of course, know there is more than that. Before my first R&R, if I came in the office before 6 a.m., it was almost always empty. There was the rare day Flo would be there, or that Colonel Snyman would be there, but he has his own room, so neither of us disturbed one another. Since I've come back though, Flo has the new habit of being in there from 5 a.m. on, which is definitely at a time I arrange to talk to you all. So I know this new complaint of my phone habits has to be coming from her as well. I have no doubt there is some truth to her blaming it on Dale (the E&C chief), as it falls within his personality to be bugged by something like that and to say something to someone other than me. And to be fair, there was a time I was on the phone in the evening. It was random, not long, but it was a personal call.

However, I am still completely within my rights. I believe I'm over-accommodating in fact. I gave Flo many chances to speak up and say my phone time bothers her, and she never took it, so I'm going to keep on keeping on. I'm incredibly annoyed that people are taking one of the few things that makes me happy so personally and turning it into an issue, but there isn't anything I can do about it. I'm certainly not going to stop talking to you guys on the phone. However, I will try to be more conscientious of the time. For that reason, I've already pushed my time with Mom and Dad earlier, and if any of you want to set up a phone time, it will probably be earlier than what it would have been a month ago. I apologize if this causes problems for anyone. But you all know how much I love to be righteously indignant, so this way, if another complaint arises, I can lord my accommodating nature in their faces. Meh, just add it to my faults.

That wraps it up here. I'm going to try to get through these next few weeks with at least a shred of positivity. I'm hoping I can. I'll just have to find joy in the small things (like a day off next week). Love you all.

Wake me up when it's over.

2009-01-04T19:37:00.003+03:00

I like to think that I'm pretty open minded. Yes, I have incredibly strong opinions and often will talk you into silence if you even hint at disagreeing (examples that come to mind include why Harry Potter rules, why a third party is incredibly important to a political system, why Bon Jovi is indeed a legitimate, albeit campy, rock band, why chocolate should be a food group, and why Trissy is one of the greatest dogs of all time), but for the most part, I'll still take others opinions into account when examining all sorts of issues. Furthermore, there are very few things that I am firmly against, no matter what. These things range from genocide (that's a 'duh' one), to Hooters (I don't care if the wings are good, I still won't respect you if you go there), to Family Guy (the dumbing down of America, and not in a good way like with Fear Street books or American Idol). Well, lets add another thing to the list that I am firmly against.

That's right, football. I HATE it. A more dull sport has not yet been invented. I would rather watch ants walk back and forth from their anthill than watch a football game. You would think that a sport that only gets played once a week and by only two leagues that the country cares about (NCAA and NFL), that I would only have to put up with the occasional interruption on my life. But NO, it is on ALL the time and I feel my brain leaking out in protest each second it is on the screen.

Okay, I need to backtrack here a bit. You all are probably confused by the direction I've taken. As most of you know, I try to go to the gym every day. And for the most part, I manage to do just that. I also try to go in the mornings, at 4 a.m.-ish, not only because it's less crowded, but that way I can be at work by 6 a.m. and not have to work past 6 p.m. This gym is not the luxurious workout spot that gyms in the U.S. are. By that I mean they only have one t.v., a big flat screen that is positioned perfectly in front of the elliptical machines. During the summer, I could be entertained by a number of things, whether it be the random movie on AFN's movie channel, an episode of Seinfeld, or something sports related, like baseball or sportscenter. My favorite was during the Olympics because I managed to go at that perfect time when M. Phelps was going for his 8 golds live. It was thrilling and helped me forget about my workout. Same goes for when Boston beat those stupid Lakers for the NBA championship. And if I were going to be here for March Madness, I just know I would be able to workout for an hour straight without thinking of all the excercise I'm plodding through. And isn't that the point of a television in a gym? To distract you from your workout?

Well, with stupid ole' football, the harder workout is to attempt to be entertained by a sport that is constantly showing shots of the coach on the sidelines, the scantily clad cheerleaders, and yet another football huddle on the field. How DARE anyone say baseball is boring when football has a flag called like every other second and we are treated to another shot of the ref making arm gestures to some random guy up in a booth? If I have to watch another pointless attempt to work one's team down a field by trying to run through a defense, I might kill someone. I mean, it is NOT thrilling to see them gain one yard at a time. And field goals, don't even get me started. In no way do these easy shots hold the thrill of a free throw at a critical moment.

I am willing (just barely) to allow that a Hail Mary is kinda exciting. But that 10 seconds of prayer and desperation do NOT make up for hours of sheer boredom. I will also allow that football movies can be great. I will argue this is largely due to great editing and a sympathetic hero like Rudy. However, even in movies, no football movie can make my top 5 sports movies of all time. And yes, it's great when your team makes it to the superbowl/bowl game, and yes, I did like Steve Young like every other mormon alive. But that was when I didn't pay attention to the mind-numbing monotony that is football.

I've always been a smidge prejudice against any sport that encourages brutality for the sake of the team. So to be fair, I came into this sport with a bit of a chip on my shoulder. Also, their cheerleaders "outfits" (if two scraps of fabric can be called an outfit) offend my feminist sensibility. But I never thought that trying to watch a game would insult my attention. Golf is much more interesting. Soccer? WAY more interesting. And while I'm not willing to acknowledge NASCAR as a sport, I bet it's loads more exciting than football.

Somehow, for these past few months, there seems to be a football game on EVERY time I go to the gym. I can't escape it. And while I do bring my ipod for something to listen to, it doesn't help me when I need a good focus point in front of me, and I can't avoid the huge t.v. taking up almost the entire wall. What I would give to have a boring show about stocks, or an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond (a show I don't particularly care for...they are too mean to one another, and not in a funny way) over the dredgery that is a game of football. But no, now we are in playoff season. I would be grateful for the end of the college season, but unfortunately, we still have the NFL playoffs. And you would think that with the limited number of teams playing, I wouldn't have to suffer every day. But I have no doubt they are going to manage to find a football game somewhere to play for every day of the week. And I'm equally sure we will be tortured with Arena football once the joke that is the superbowl is over. I mean, when you have to spice up the culminating competition of your particular sport with getting-lamer-as-time-goes-on commercials and new episodes of House or Greys Anatomy, as well as a halftime show featuring an on-the-verge has-been (though this year it's The Boss, and I kinda like him...still won't watch though), clearly there is something incredibly dull about said sport.

Am I wrong people? I beg you to find some justifiable reason to waste even 30 minutes of my time with a sport that promotes rage/violence in men, yet still can't even be entertaining on a trashy level. In the meantime, I will be gritting my teeth and not praying that my workout ends soon, but that the football season will end/the t.v. will break.

(Disclaimer...I apologize for the awkward phrasing and heavy use of caps...this is a rant I would rather give in person, but a girls gotta rant when she's gotta rant, so my blog it is.)

Inside and Out (A duo of Survey's)

2008-12-31T21:51:00.004+03:00

I've spent the last hour rocking out to my itunes and playing spider solitaire, and just thought, "what a great time to try out that itunes survey/blog entry." Not a remarkable thought process...rather predictable in fact, but nonetheless, here goes:

(Oh, and I'm assuming first song is the title of this post, so that's what I'm rolling with.)

(Oh, and my comments are in italics.)

1. Put your iTunes on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!

1.IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
Hello (Not said like the greeting, but like "Burn", J.D. says it like that in Scrubs)

2.WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Sucker (Awesome. I am rather naive when it comes to some things, i.e. anything an airport official tells me, anything Dave tells me, anything Wikipedia tells me)

3.WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Pretty Women (hmmm, I do like pretty women, in a purely aesthetic sense, not a romantic sense...lets just pretend Sweeney Todd is singing about Pretty Men)

4.HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
All These Things that I've Done (I have done a lot of things today...busy day)

5.WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Top of the World (I'm going to take this to mean travel/world domination)

6.WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Proud Mary ("rollin' on the river...")

7.WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Am I the Only One Who's Ever Felt This Way? (Probably)

8.WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
The Living Years (So true...I obsess over the years I've been alive and the years to come I will be alive (knock on wood))

9.WHAT IS 2+2?
Take Me Out (because math is booooring)

10.WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
You Were Mine (awww, my bessie IS all mine.)

11.WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Standing Still (well, as I don't really like anyone right now like that, this seems appropriate.)

12.WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Please Mr. Postman (SOOOOOO true here in Iraq. Such my life story for my time here. Oh, sidenote, two helicopters just flew overhead and felt so close I thought they would land on me. Buzzing the tower apparently.)

13.WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
SexyBack (Well, since I don't have a song titled "world famous film critic/cupcake taster", this one will have to do)

14.WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Hearts Breaking Even ( I think I already mentioned there is no one in that scope right now, but meh, this works well)

15.WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Duet (Mom, I'm not going to sing/play with you, no matter how much Candlelight wants it)(Kidding, I would if you really needed me)

16.WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR WEDDING?
Glory of Love ( Okay, this is just creepy. I swear on my life this used to be THE quintessential song for me when it came to picturing my future love. I mean, I still hear this song and dream of a storybook/dramatic but ends well romance with Colin Firth (he's my hottie of the moment). SO CRAZY!!!)

17.WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Tourniquet (Disturbing, but probs rather accurate.)

18.WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Guitar Hero (First off, there is a song named this, I'm not making it up, and this could easily be a hobby of mine. Well, more Rock Band, but I'm not too picky)

19.WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Secret Heart (aw, my love for them isn't so secret, but we can pretend for this question)

20.WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
Love Song (like Karen C sings, "it's a dirty ole shame when all you get from love is a love song...")

21.HOW WILL YOU DIE?
Come Clean (Tourniquet would work better here, but I'm going to assume this means my death will be that horrific carwash nightmare Em always imagines when in one of those automated carwashes)

22.WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
Black Sand (The song is a bit about regret, but I think I only regret never being anywhere cool enough with black sand...give me time)

23.WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
I Walk the Line (my balance is really poor)

24.WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
Long Time Gone (wow, another one right on the mark. I do feel I've been gone so long...sad)

25.WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
Pretty Bird (Interesting, my itunes also wanted to divert attention from this pointed question that is way too personal)

26.WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
Wonderful (spoken like a true pessimist)

27.DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
What's Up? (Probably not after I quote them that archaic greeting)

28.IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
Lie To Me (I would have people lie to me about a couple of things, like how hard life is once you move out of the comfort of your parents house, and how annoying collecting quarters for laundry is)

29.WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
I'm the Kinda (my head kinda hurts...probs from laying in one position too long)

30.WHERE WILL YOU TRAVEL TO?
Popular (I will be traveling to popular destinations such as London, Paris, Amsterdam and Vienna...can't wait)

31.WHAT IS THE BEST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
Pelican Bay (I'm going to take this to mean I'll meet Julia Roberts, we become bessies, she introduces me to George Clooney and the rest is history)

32.WHAT DO YOU OFTEN FIND YOURSELF WANTING TO YELL AT PEOPLE?
Holiday (If only there were a "Happy" before that, and an 's' at the end of Holiday)

33.WHAT DO YOU CALL YOURSELF?
When You're Good to Mama (Dang, my itunes is good, as Kathy and I constantly refer to one another and ourselves as Mama. The only way it could have been more perfect is if there were a song in my library called "gurl".)

34. WHAT DOES THE PERSON YOU LIKE THINK OF YOU?
Don't Stop the Music (talk about your bad first dates when they prefer music over conversation)

35. WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Now At Last (okay, I didn't remember this question, and I refuse to change the title. If it offends your sensibilities as readers, know that at least the songs came from the same album by Feist...Inside and Out works better as a title anyhow, as you are getting to know me, Inside and Out.)

Oh, what a treat, another survey. I just copied and pasted Sarah's, not remembering this part after having read it weeks ago, so I'm going to keep going for funsies.

25 Random Questions

Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4.
"...dockworkers and hospital orderlies, in some cases postal clerks, a..." -A Drink Before the War by Dennis Lehane

Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you reach?
My glasses case

What is the last thing you watched on TV?
A Friends rerun

Without looking, guess what time it is:
10 p.m. Late for me, but I get most of the day off tomorrow.

Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?
10:25 p.m. I best be getting to bed regardless of that day off...I don't want to waste it.

With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
DANG HELICOPTERS...WHY SO BUSY ON NEW YEARS EVE????

When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
Couple of hours ago when I was coming to my room. Nothing at all interesting.

Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
Twitter

What are you wearing?
pj pants and a tank. Wishing I had slippers on my feetsies.

Did you dream last night?
Yes, I did. Can't really recall what, but it was vivid. Almost all my dreams are vivid, occur nightly, and are quickly forgotten (though I feel if I were to stop being lazy and write them down, I would tap into the psychic powers I have yet to harness...just sayin')

When did you last laugh?
Earlier in this post when itunes got some good answers in.

What are on the walls of the room you are in?
Another dull answer...hmmm, nothing at all. Oh, I did tape some cards I got up, so that will count. Otherwise, nothing but an ugly paint job and the reminder I live in a tin can.

Seen anything weird lately?
A story about a baby born with another baby growing out of it's brain. THAT'S RIGHT!!!
(follow this link)
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1097100/Doctor-removes-perfectly-formed-FOOT-growing-inside-babys-brain.html

What do you think of this quiz?
Not as entertaining as the previous one, which is sad b/c this one started off so well.

What is the last film you saw?
Bridget Jones Diary on DVD...if we are counting in the theatre, unfair b/c I'm in Iraq, but that one would be Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist.

If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
Oh, don't even get me started internet survey. I'm going to attach an actual number to make this fun. If I got 100 million after taxes, 25 million would immediately go to charities for animals. Particularly The Humane Society and also No-Kill shelters (I know that seems counter-productive, b/c THS will euthanize, but both do such good things for animals) and also for legislation to make animal abuse more than a misdemeanor. Then I would give my parents and family members significant chunks of cash. Then I would buy one of those AMAZING homes in the Central West End (maybe one on Hortense or something). I would travel often, I would continue to donate to charities, I would take my friends on a fabulous trip to Hawaii where I own a vacation condo (my only other home) and I would own a Prius, WHILE still working, at either an animal shelter or womens home. And my only indulgence (besides all that's been mentioned) would be the occasional purse from Prada or Kate Spade (my current faves). Otherwise, I'll still shop like whoa at Target, Gap, Borders, places like these.

Tell me something about you that I don't know about.
I hated to pluck my eyebrows. I would let them grow all "Peter Gallagher" (as Kyle fondly called me) in between waxings, but this past trip home, I've discovered the joy of it, and now I can't stop. I still have eyebrows, but only through sheer willpower. I'll stand in front of the mirror for 30 minutes at a time just looking for an errant hair to pluck. Too much information? Thought so.

If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
Put me in charge of it. I've got some grand ideas (rooted in small communities living socialist like existences). But in all seriousness, I would educate the world in tolerance, acceptance, humility, and general kindness.

Do you like to dance?
Only if the music is so loud and pulsating I lose myself in it. I'm not good, but it's fun to not think for 4 minutes during the perfect Rihanna song.

Do you like cartoons?
Only if they are as entertaining for the adult as they are for the kid.

Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
Gillian

Imagine your first is a boy, what do you call him?
Kirkland Cale

Would you ever consider living abroad?
Living and breathing it at the moment. But I don't count this as the true abroad experience. After this, yes I would, preferably Europe.

What do you want God to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?
"It's about time...we need a 4th for domino's." (Too sacriligeous? I don't know where that line is.)

Christmas Treasures

2008-12-25T14:04:00.005+03:00

Merry Christmas all. If you are reading this in the next 24 hours, clearly you are sick of the family and trying to escape. Shame on you. I wasn't really planning on posting today, but I realized I never recognized those of you who have made my holiday something special. I speak of course about the various holiday packages I have received. I've already mentioned the first package from Mom and Dad, Steven and Tamara's package, and had a vlog based around Em's package. I would vlog about this one, but meh, it seems like too much effort right now to deal with the downloading, witty (I wish) banter, and remembering what it is I want to talk about. Instead, we'll do it old school. As my month has progressed, I've also received a package from Elise, Juli, and another one from Mom and Dad.

Oh, and I should mention Kyle and Charlotte (my friend who lives in Pennsylvania) also sent me Christmas packages. So the above photo is just a bit of what I've gotten this month. On the presents are holiday cards I've sent out. And while it does not even come close to showing all I've received, it's a nice taste. The lamb is from Em, as you would know if you watched the vlog. The green and red holiday ornaments are from S and T, the wrapped gifts are from Kyle and Mom and Dad. That bottle is pillow spray from Elise, the tree from Mom and Dad, the snowman ornament and M&M's candy holder from Charlotte, a veritable booty of holiday cheer, all atop my mini fridge.

These next two are to display the advent calendar from Juli, and the Christmas decorations from the folks. Christmas lights are not allowed in rooms (safety/electrical issues), so they heeded the call well. These little reminders have cheered me this month. What you don't see featured are the treats included in M & D, Juli, and Elise's packages. They included things like homemade fudge, cherry nut cookies, 100 calorie packs of all types of sweets, edible coal (humorous and tasty), movies, all sorts of things. I can't even remember it all now. Just know that they were very appreciated. I shared the cookies and fudge with my office, who loved them, and thought about sharing the 100 calorie packs, but nope...too selfish. Seriously though, you all banded together to make my December pretty remarkable. Thank you.

So, how has my day been so far? Well, I didn't set an alarm this morning and for the first time in Iraq, actually slept till I wanted to wake up, which was at about 8:30 a.m. Heaven. I've watched Master and Commander (one of my all time favorite movies, so it was a real treat), eaten stuff that will not be on my diet for the next 2 1/2 months, browsed the internet for funny Conan O'Brien clips (check out on Hulu his "NBC Tour" bits...hilarz), and gone to lunch with Flo at the DFAC. There, they finally had tacky displays that come close to yard inflatables. I didn't take a picture, and the contest may very well be over, but if not, count it. You'll just have to trust me on this. The DFAC employee's went all out with not only the decorations, but the feasting. The food was delicious...I had glazed ham, a stuffing/potato casserole of some sort, corn, rolls, shrimp cocktail, cake, sparkling grape juice, topped off with a candy cane. The employees were all so great. I'm fairly positive most of them are Hindu or Buddhist, but they all greeted us with enthusiastic "Merry Christmas's". There was a camaraderie in the air amongst all there, b/c it was clear we would rather be with our families; but since we are all in this together, we should make the most of it. I opened my gift from Mom and Dad, a book I look forward to reading (and I know the rest of you got, so you know what I refer to). The Sri Lankan boy (I call him boy b/c he looks 14 but must be at least 18) who cleans our office gave me a Christmas card this morning that says "Happy Merry Christmas Day". It was so thoughtful and sweet. It just was great to be around such genuine spirits.

But nothing made my day more than opening an email from Elise explaining my gift this year. I was a bit curious/hesitant to see what she concocted for my gift. I knew it wasn't anything I could use over here b/c I made it explicitly clear that I didn't want anything I couldn't use to be shipped to me, as it would cause more stress than joy for the shipping of it back. So when she stated she was just emailing me a picture of it, I wondered what she possibly thought of. And since I couldn't enjoy it over here (my choice, I realize), I'll admit there wasn't much excitement surrounding this email I would be getting. So I went into the office this morning to fulfill my two hours of work required, piddled around, and finally opened my email. Elise, I'm speechless. Or at least, I was. I'm clearly not now. I also cried right there for anyone to see if they so chose. I'm sure you all know, but she has given me the gift of a chance to swim with dolphins, one of my greatest dreams since as long as I can remember. I know I have the rest of you to thank since you will help cover the cost for my upcoming birthday, but Elise, to remember that, to think of that, and to make it happen, I can't thank you enough. I am truly, utterly and completely blown away and touched. I hate to say it, but I really cannot imagine any gift in my life ever topping this. And that's okay. This will be the Lord of the Rings of gifts, knowing that nothing will be as good, but many things will come darn close. I don't know what else I can say. I thought today would be pretty mediocre, but it isn't. It is the perfect gift.

So, wrapping things up (get it? Wrap things up? Gifts? Wrapping paper? All that???), thank you to everyone who made what could have been a depressing holiday one that I will look upon fondly. From the southern Asian workers to my families packages and perfect gifts, I am truly blessed to have you all supporting me. It's a festivus miracle!! Oh wait, I mean Christmas miracle. Enjoy your holiday, and if you are reading this on the 25th, get back to the family!!

Christmas Eve in Iraq.

2008-12-24T08:54:00.001+03:00

I woke up this morning, filled with excitement and anticipation. A giddy feeling. However, it was not for the usual reasons that one might get excited for on a Christmas Eve. It was because I was getting to talk to Emily. I look forward to these phone calls so much. Now, before anyone starts to think I'm playing favorites, you should first know that Emily isn't my favorite, Trissy is. Also, she makes a concerted effort to set up a phone date, so naturally she is the family member after the parents that I talk to the most. If Trissy had opposable thumbs and the ability to communicate besides her scratching at the door, it's more than likely I would talk to her the most, with a bit of Alfred mixed in. Back to my original point, I love talking to Emily. I think each of us Lambsons (including recent additions), have many talents that draw us to each other. We depend on them, we use them, and we delight in them. One of Em's many talents is her sheer enthusiasm for analyzing anyone and everyone with me. Analyzing people's behaviors, views, and actions has to be my favorite thing to talk about (with episodes of Lost, family memories, reasons why we need a third strong political party, and lists that rank things coming in a close second). She picks up the ball and runs with it, and we can just gab for hours and hours nitpicking every behavior we've ever displayed, as well as any behavior anyone else has displayed. Don't believe me? Just ask Joe almost any time I come over. It all comes from a place of love, so nothing mean-spirited motivates us when we talk about why Sarah is such a devoted employee or why Elise is a cat person more than a dog person. Mainly, we talk about ourselves and help each other to be okay with our faults (not justifying them, but not villifying them either).

So I know each time I get to talk to her on the phone, it will be a good conversation. We also discussed Austrailia, our sisters continued obsession with criticizing Twilight (just know that as you continue to criticize it openly, I will continue to mock you for it. Your call, sisters), Noah, Kyle and his hypocrisy when it comes to the internet (long story), game playing, and many other things. I left the phone call feeling revived and excited to start my day. Not to discount her miraculous phone skills, but this feeling could also be related to the fact that I have two days off in a row. And by two days off, I mean of course that I will be working two hours each day, but essentially, it's like a day off for me. What will I do with myself? Absolutely nothing. I may watch some movies, finish season 5 of Scrubs, read a book, nap, eat unhealthy food (I allow myself chips and candy on my rare days off), and internet till my hands bleed. I will not though, be participating in any Christmas Eve activities that fill me with that childlike spirit, that feeling of family, that warm, cuddly, hot cocoa in your soul feeling that comes with the greatest day of the year. That's right, I think Christmas Eve is better than Christmas. On Christmas Eve, there is that glorious anticipation, possibly my favorite feeling in the world. As a kid, you still had one day to pray that Santa got your letter, and that all those wrapped gifts under the tree contained your greatest desire. As an adult, it's when your family rolls into town, you finish getting your gifts together, eager for your loved ones to see your tokens of love, you aren't working, you are just basking in the glow of the holiday. Now, Christmas Day isn't too shabby. The food is amazing, the all day showing of A Christmas Story on TBS is comforting, and you can spend the day napping, eating, playing games, and napping again. But it doesn't have the magic of Christmas Eve.

So, while my giddy feelings weren't diminished, they definitely were not at all related to the date on the calendar. And that makes me sad. Those in my camp are doing everything they can to create a happy holiday for everyone here. And I know that it's a failing of mine that these things do not appeal to me. My extreme anti-socialness and my stubbornness to want the perfect Christmas Eve or no Christmas Eve at all is definitely a key factor here. I sometimes wonder if I'm denying myself the full experience of Iraq by not seeking out deeper relationships. And maybe I am. But, to argue in favor of my decisions, I don't have the time for relationships like that. Before October, my free nights were spent either scrambling for some internet access to stay in touch with family and friends, studying for that blasted GRE (it may be over, but I still resent it), or treating myself to a movie. October is over, and I am done with the GRE and internet scramble. But now there are new things filling my time. Writing personal statements, learning new procedures for when Dave leaves (which means a couple of late nights), internetting here...And maybe all of this sounds like a cop-out. It probably is. I just don't feel connected with most of these people. As friendly acquaintances, they are all great. I'm so lucky that everyone is a genuinely nice person (okay, not everyone. The girls in RM are notoriously witchy/backstabbers). And I'm not normally an age-ist. Some of my favorite co-workers from previous jobs were significantly older than me. BUT, I never hung out with them outside of work. So it's hard to imagine Carol, a contracting lady whose nice, wanting to sit down to a marathon of Arrested Development episodes, or talk about how the college system is way too easy on students (study guides for every test? What is this, high school??). It's hard to imagine they can relate to my ever-present feelings of not knowing what I'm doing with my life, if I want to have kids, my desire to travel to every continent (well, not Antartica) before I turn 35, the happiness that a good America's Next Top Model marathon can bring, the beauty of renting, or why I feel kinda weird that I think Daniel Radcliffe is hot. Maybe I'm not giving them enough credit. But for the most part I'm okay with that. I have relationships that fulfill me, sustain me, empower me, and though all of them are not located within Tikrit, they are enough. So I may sound harsh and judgemental...I guess it's just that I would rather spend my precious free hours bettering my current relationships, having some alone time, and not filling it with a half-version of a friendship I more than likely will not sustain when I leave. Judge away if you like.

99% of the time, all of my rationalizations work and I am as happy as one can be in a war zone, working 72 hours a week, and eating food that can best be described as "edible." But on darned Christmas Eve, these rationalizations don't mean squat. So know that I wish all of you the best of holidays, and that I love you and am thinking of you. But also know that I will not be trying to reclaim some of that magic, because it is impossible. I'm going to enjoy my holiday for what it is to me right now...two days off and all the candy my teeth will allow.

Just wait till next year, when I go so over-the-top, you will be holiday-ed out before November even hits.

Merry Christmas family.

An attempt at some videos...

2008-12-12T19:30:00.002+03:00

Alright, so after a lot of confusion and a lot of waiting for things to upload to photobucket.com, I present to you my pathetic, very amatuerish, first version of a vlog. It is lacking any sophistication, depth, wit, or classy effects that one comes to desire from their online videos. What can I say? Go to youtube or something if you are looking for quality. However, if you are looking for the latest thing to graze my interest level, check this video out. It's over 10 minutes long, so get the popcorn out and let the mocking commence. Details in the video...

Ringing in a December

2008-12-04T19:42:00.004+03:00

Greetings to everyone!!! I hope your Decembers have started off quite well, filled with the usual delights: the end of a semester, Christmas lights, baking, quality movies, the smells of the holidays, everyone in good cheer, hot chocolate, naps that are justified on the holiday, the start of college basketball getting interesting, traditions, and taking assessment of your year. Those are just a few things I think of when I imagine December. Here in Iraq, I think maybe 2 of those items hold true for me, and those would be the basketball one and the Christmas lights. Our little camp has their own way of trying to bring in the festive spirits, and it includes a tree in our main pavilion which is quite pretty at night. They don't keep it lit very often, so I'll try to catch a picture of it when it is so you can see.

However, I am getting the chance to enjoy some baking. The first of holiday packages came in today. THANKS to Mom and Steven and Tamara. Mom, the cookies turned out delightful and everyone in my office enjoyed one. I'm so glad you thought to include extras b/c often others get enought to share (of whatever their care package includes) and do so; therefore, it was nice to be able to do the same. Now, I know I could extend this to the multiple packages of peanut M&M's Steven and Tamara got me, but you would be crazy to think that. Ain't no one getting their mitts on my candy. Included in these packages were as follows:

Mom's: Christmas decorations, including a stocking, door hanger, mini tree, pillowcase and table cover. See picture for more details. Also, the Christmas socks are perfect, as is the reading material and recorders. I'm not sure anymore about the realities of going to Baghdad for Christmas (details too boring/complex to share here), but I will send one along to Kathy and begin practicing my finger work. For those not in the know, I was so impressed with Steven's reintroduction to the trombone, and very envious of it, that it has sparked a renewed interest in my saxophone. Hey, me, Steven and Mom could be our own little jazz trio!! Anyways, I've grown nostalgic for things I eschewed in my idiotic youth, and Steven's great choice/sacrifice to play in the stake orchestra has motivated me. Included in this nostalgia is a desire to play basketball again, so I think I will look up YMCA/Columbia Parks and Rec type leagues when I move back home. Sorry, getting sidetracked. Thank you mom, so much. I'm so lucky to have your thoughtfulness in my life.

Tamara and Steven: Well, you already heard about the M&M's. My guiltiest and most delightful pleasure. I have no self control when it comes to them, so I'm grateful you didn't send that huge, 3-pounder bag which would have resulted in me eating them furiously in a corner while hissing at those trying to come near. Love them way too much. Also, they included some thoughtful, fun little presents that include the perfect time waster in crosswords, connect four, and some magazines with details of president-elect Obama's win. Despite the differences in politics our country has, I'm glad we can all recognize what a historic event that victory was. The number of voter turnout, the first black president, the importance of the change our country needs (whether it were to come from McCain or Obama, it is needed), and I love that you two included that for me. I also loved that you wrapped everything. Again, see the photo for images of the wrapped gifts, which explains why there are no pix of the Christmas decorations you included, but rest assured, I'm hanging the photo one and the stocking I got from Mom in my office. Oh, and the pictures were great.

Last note, both packages included tons of sugar-free, fruity gum. Have I mentioned my addiction to that on the blog? I could go back and read old entries, but meh, I'm lazy. Well, I LOVE it, and it will be chewed and swallowed shortly.

So, thanks again you all for getting my holiday season off to a great start. I promise this blog is not meant to highlight those who didn't get me a package by now. I don't even expect packages. Any time I get one, it's a positive treat, and I thank you all so very much for thinking of me and taking time out of your lives to send me your love in the best way possible: sheer materialism. J/K of course. Your unconditional love and support is the best kind, but a break in my day and the smile it brings to my face is great too. I know this holiday will be filled with ups and downs for me, and a lot of newness (as I've spent every other Christmas tucked in the bosom of our family), so know that even your thoughts sent my way are enough to emulate a warm cup of cocoa.

Wow, that last line was so cheesy. Methinks the packages have made me embrace sentimentality, which as I love to say, "Sentimentality is wicked...but cynicism is worse." (okay, those aren't my words, they are Jincy Willett's, but I still love them).

For some of you (you know who you are), update your blogs!!!!!! OR, send me an email to let me know how you are doing. I accept emails from all, but there are a certain few I feel out of touch with, so I'm eager to know how the last month of your year is going.

Mele Kalikimaka!!! (It is a WISE way to say Merry Christmas to you.) (Detractors from this sentiment will not be received by me).

What I'm Thankful For...

2008-11-29T18:37:00.002+03:00

Well, now that everyone has another years Thanksgiving under their belts, I thought it would be a good time to list the things I'm thankful for:

-Good health for me and my family
-online companies that ship to APO addresses (Thank you Amazon, Target, drugstore.com, etc.)
-The blogosphere which helps me know what's going on in your lives
-Being in a place where our bombing drills are filled with laughter and a casual attitude b/c we have yet to see a serious threat (this happened yesterday...half the people didn't don their gear and we just stood around our bunkers shooting the breeze)
-Meat-wiches. A term coined by me and my extreme love of meat on bread...no condiments or cheese or anything but meat and bread (preferably rolls). That and cold cereal are the staples of my Iraqi diet.
-The new season of Lost coming up. You all know it's going to be good. Here's a link to a my favorite promo for it... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ODT_9NX2h9o&NR=1
-being almost at my halfway point for my time here
-mail...any kind, all kinds, I've never loved the postal system more
-digital camera's...how else could I take pictures, but more importantly, get the latest pictures of Noah with just a simple click of a button?
-My REI coat that is indeed water-repelling and wonderful.
-Jeans that are too long for me.
-my vivid imagination. It keeps me quite entertained, even if it dips into morbid territory every now and then.
-my laptop. I know I've thanked her before, as well as cursed her, but without this sucker, I would be adrift in a sea of dust and guns.
-all of you.

Well, that's sappy and pointless enough to make the perfect holiday list. Hope all your weekends are going well. I miss you and love you all.

30 Books to Read Before I'm 30.

2008-11-25T12:49:00.045+03:00

So, I've had this idea since a couple of you came up with the 100 books to have read before you die or something like that. I felt quite uneducated after discovering I was sorely lacking in my literary education. And while I don't want to read every one of those books, I made a goal to myself to read a nice chunk--this way, I can maintain the moral superiority and intellectual superiorism I feel whilst among the plebians of the world. But I took it one step further. I shortened the list of books to 30 I feel I need to read/want to read before I turn 30, and then decided to do the same with movies and life goals. So this is the first in the installment of things to do before I'm 30 (I've got a little over 2 years...isn't that crazy???), and if anyone has any advice on how to get through some of these, pass it along.

Okay, so the layout of these isn't anything like I wanted b/c the stupid things can't be moved on a whim, so pardon the chaos. Also, The Hobbit signifies that I want to read not only that, but the whole Lord of the Rings series, so technically, my list is 33, but as most view the whole as one grand story, I feel I should do the same. Lastly, my motivations also come from books I've owned a long time and really wanted to read, but my literary ADD manifested itself many times. So in conjunction with that, the lists I've seen previously, and Entertainment Weekly's recommendations, here you have my list of 30 books. The first I plan to start reading is Watership Down, and as soon as I am done with my current book, I will delve into the world of rabbits.

Wish me luck on my journey of words!!!

Hating is the new black.

2008-11-21T19:36:00.002+03:00

Before I get to the brunt of this email, a bit of tacky business first. Let me first say I hate that I have business that needs taking care of, but some things are surprisingly hard to do while living in a war zone. Who knew?

1: Well, that time has come again. We've been waiting for it all year, hoping and praying that our wishes will come true, saving our money for this special event. That's right, People's Sexiest Man Alive issue is on the verge of coming out, and this year, they've anointed Hugh Jackman as their world's sexiest man. Now, as you all read in the previous posting, I'm saving my attached self for Hugh; therefore, I need to support him in all that he does. First things, getting my mitts on this magazine. Normally, I am loathe to spend any kind of money on publications resembling People, but this issue and the one they do every year about people losing half their body weight are the two worth seeking out. However, I do not think I will have access to purchasing People here, at least, no guaranteed access, so if anyone is thinking of sending me a package (height of tacky right now, I know. I'm cringing as I type), if perchance they could include a copy of this issue. I owe it to my future husband to read magazines he's featured on.

2: This blends well into my next point of business. Being even tackier than the previous point (and we thought we were at the very top), Christmas packages. I don't know if anyone is planning on sending one, and I promise you this is not a plea for you to do so. However, if you are planning on it, and you are set on getting it to me by Christmas day, they highly recommend you get the package mailed by December 4th. I originally thought it was December 11th, but that's for less volatile areas the military is installed. For us scary country folk, they need a bit more time to get their bomb sniffing dogs to sniff out our packages. I don't say this to stress anyone, I just thought you should know.

I think that's all the business I have for now. I'm currently listening to Bing Crosby's Christmas album (which I caved and bought b/c I have no Christmas music here and Bing has become my absolute favorite) and I'm filled with happiness. No regrets or sorrow yet, so that makes me smile. Some of you may know, I wasn't planning on doing anything really Christmas-y. Most of that is born out of practicality. It's kinda hard to drive around and look at Christmas lights in Iraq, as well as make candies with parents, wrap gifts while watching Christmas movies, and decorating the tree while The Carpenters Christmas album plays. (Those are my favorite of all favorite holiday activities). And I will miss that. Heck, I miss it already even if it isn't that time of year just yet. I wasn't planning on really doing anything though. No Christmas music, movies, stories, none of that. I was just going to enjoy the day off and try not to think about what I'm missing out on. But I've decided that would be depriving myself. Yes, I'm not surrounded by the holidays like I desire, and I will possibly be spending Christmas in my room, watching movies. If anything, it's going to give me a whole new appreciation for my family and my traditions. I'm hoping that I can go to Baghdad and spend Christmas with Kathy, where we will watch A Charlie Brown Christmas (her favorite) and It's a Wonderful Life (my favorite...after White Christmas of course) and be grateful we are doing well, we are paying off debts, and that we will have next year to make even more amazing. To make a long story short (too late), I'm not going to hold myself back from enjoying what I can of Christmas over here, even though there isn't much. I'll bring it, I don't need where I live to provide it. I'll celebrate Christmas in my heart, even when the constant dirt makes me wonder if White Christmas's even exist.

Onto the meat of what this entry was supposed to be about. The following is a link to an amusing article Kyle sent me. What he couldn't have foreseen was the strongest desire to rant about it. I mean, he should have b/c everyone who knows me knows I'm happiest when ranting. However, living in pre-Boca Raton with all the mid-life crisis folks, I don't have anyone who is really on the same page as me. And what is a blog if not a place to force people to read your rantings?

http://jezebel.com/5092089/i-was-a-teenage-trend+hater-despising-twilight-is-big-for-fall

Well, as you can tell by the link, this might have something to do with Twilight. I liked Twilight. It was an addictive book that forced me to sneak reading it during slow shifts at Mac Shack, and had me panting to get my hands on the last of the series. I encouraged those around me to read it and hoped they derived the same pleasure from it that I did. I did not claim or believe it to be the next Harry Potter. I don't need a "next Harry Potter", much like I don't need another "Lord of the Rings." I have them. I have accepted that no other book or movie experience will be the same as those two. I'm okay with that. So I didn't go into Twilight looking for it to be my new obsession. I enjoyed it for what it was. No, it's not Jane Austen, but it is fun. I love vampires, so it was right up my alley. Yes, I was a bit disappointed that most of my family did not enjoy these quite as well as I. But I don't like Homestar Runner, so I'm sure disappointment goes two ways. I even like to harass Kirsti and Sarah about their unabashed hatred of it. I mean girls, WHY are you going to see the movie when you hated the books and the main character makes you want to chew glass? And you were thinking of wearing "I hate Twilight" shirts? Why? You two are cra-cra. But I love you, so know that this rant is not directed towards you two. Nor is the article.

The article did infuriate me though, or rather, the comments did. The article itself was fun, witty and made great points. I love my principles and find them a lot warmer at night than most popular things. However, these comments and a previous article on the Entertainment Weekly site has opened my eyes to something. I don't want to hate something just because it's popular. I have a few things I've sworn never to attempt b/c of their enormous and in my eyes, unjustified, popularity. Grey's Anatomy, Play Station 3, Y107, sushi, stuff like this. But when I was reading the hostility and incredible arrogant pride of people who think they are sooooo great because they've never seen an episode of Friends or won't watch/read anything Harry Potter makes me sick, and almost has me running to watch Grey's while eating sushi. Not quite, but it has convinced me to never swear off of something without giving it a chance. I'm talking pop culture here of course, not crimes or anything like that. I mean, who is so absolutely proud of the fact that they have never done anything? And then to act intellectually superior to those who do is ridiculous. If you have never seen/read it, how do you know???

Furthermore, when people criticize the writing of J.K. Rowling and such, and claim it's terrible and how they would rather read Milton or something, it makes me want to rip their faces off. Did anyone anticipate that Lewis Carroll's childrens stories would be on the AP reading list, or that Mozart, who was panned for a lot of his music, would be revered for even breathing on a sheet of music these days? Vertigo was HATED and considered film crap when it was released, and a mere 50 years later, AFI considers it the best suspense movie ever made. What I'm trying to say is that to compare Harry Potter to classics and saying it is crap is closeminded and weak. We don't know what we will consider classics from the 90's and 2000's. And if you hated the books, fine, you are entitled to your opinion. But maybe, just maybe, you should get over it. I mean, Twilight has a lot of moments that are easy to disagree with, but no one forced you to read it, or the following books...so go ahead and dislike them, but QUIT hating on people who don't share your opinion. It's lame. (Sarah and Kirsti, this isn't something you do, so I love you for that...thanks for not giving me crap.) I hate the Family Guy (i did give it a chance and wish I could have that 20 minutes back), but I do not go onto sites and comment excessively about what an offensive show it is.

Okay, I've got to wrap this up. Basically, I NEED to stop reading comments on the internet. They get me so worked up. I hope my rant was a bit cohesive, because I had a lot to say and I'm not sure I presented my argument very well. I do better when I can verbalize, largely b/c my loud voice intimidates people into agreeing with me. I guess I just wish people wouldn't be so amazingly critical. Stephanie Meyers just set out to write some books that meant something to her, and miracle of miracles, they struck a note with a large amount of people. She doesn't deserve all the crap and backlash she has gotten. Same with J.K. Lay off the authors, enjoy or don't enjoy the books, and move on. But if you did enjoy them, call me.

Blog Survey I've been wanting to do.

2008-11-18T19:31:00.017+03:00

A. Attached or Single? Single and lovin' every minute of it. I'm saving myself for Hugh Jackman.

B. Best Friend? Well, I have a number of bessie's, but my best friend, the one who puts up with so much of my crap I can't believe we are still friends, Kyle.

C. Cake or Pie? Cake, easily. Especially of the cupcake, german chocolate, or ice cream variety. I like pot pie, does that count?

D. Day of choice? Thursday's. This favoritism comes from when I was still in school, and Thursdays were when you began eagerly anticipating the weekend as you hadn't wasted it yet, plus, ER was on Thursdays and I used to love that show. No phone calls were allowed while I watched it. Now Lost is my no phone-call show.

E. Essential Item? Laptop. I couldn't survive Iraq without it. It's my lifeline.

F. Favorite Color? Navy blue, b/c I look good in navy and I love nautical everything. I was a sailor in another life.

G. Gummy Bears or Worms? Bears. I can't eat the worms b/c it grosses me out. I think of that book that was popular when I was a kid "How to Eat Fried Worms" and I get queasy.

H. Hometown? Columbia. I loved living away from it because driving home to it was great. Especially when Elise and I would drive home from Maryville for the holidays. We would put on Christmas songs and just simmer in our excitement.

I. Indulgence? Amazon.com. I love it. I've gotten way too many books considering this is a temporary residence. I go on there every day to drool over more books. I have a stack waiting in my "to be bought later" section, and add at least another one every day.

J. January or July? January. I like the bleakness of it. I hate driving in winter, but if I could take that part out, I would be a winter convert. Even horrible February. Sometimes a good month of festering in misery is a nice change of pace, and it makes spring all the better.
K. Kids? I plan to have dogs. I'll let you know about the kids thing later. (My 3 dream dogs)...

L. Life is not complete without? Laughter. What a dull existence life would be without a belly laugh to get you through.

M. Marriage Date?Kyle was my date to the last marriage I went to. But where was he during the conga line dance? Eh? I made do. (Us at the wedding reception)

N. Number of Brothers and Sisters? More than can fit in a breadbox.

O. Oranges or Apples? Neither in the form of juice. Grape.

P. Phobias? Open heights and house fires. Get the heebee-jeebies just thinking about them.

Q. Quotes? "We have nothing to fear, but another Great Depression." -Stephen Colbert misquoting FDR.R. Reasons to smile? Vacations, Scrubs, family, friends, cupcakes, sloppy joes, Gap camisoles, books, packages while living Iraq, sleeping in, air conditioning, cool breezes, movie theatres, new socks, daffodils, baby animals, driving with the windows down while singing along with Bon Jovi, Tina Turner, or the Dixie Chicks.

S. Season of Choice? Spring or Autumn. I love the one I'm with.

T. Tag some peeps! Lame...whoever came up with this survey couldn't come up with a T category.

U. Unknown Fact about Me? I've never won a game of Trivial Pursuit, but that will never stop me from playing it or forcing others to play it with me. One day, TP, one day. Oh, and I dream of being best friends with either Kathy Griffin.

V. Vegetable? Hmmm, I really like spinach. Both raw and cooked.

W. Worst Habits? Chewing my fingers, talking too loud, eating mindlessly while watching anything, grocery shopping when hungry (suddenly a 15$ trip becomes a 75$ trip),

X. X-Ray or Ultrasound? Um, ultrasound would mean I'm either preggers or have a tumor...so clearly X-Ray.

Y. Your favorite food? Sloppy Joes (Lambson recipe only), chocolate, bbq chicken pizza, bread of all kinds (well, except raisen bread), potatoes of all kind, pizza rolls, mexican (but no pico de gallo), eggplant parmesan, burgers, grinders chicken salad, peanut m&m's.Z. Zodiac Sign? Aries. I'm as stubborn as a ram, so it makes a lot of sense. Though I don't believe most of this zodiac mumbo jumbo, I still love to read it.

Melancholy in November

2008-11-16T19:34:00.002+03:00

Hi everyone. First off, thanks to everyone who made me feel confident in my hasty glasses decision. So far, I'm loving them. I only wear them at work, as I find them hard to get used to in my normal life. I'll see something in my glasses-free peripheral and it will throw me off. Luckily, I only really need them for work. I'm sure if I weren't in Iraq and driving at night, they would be a great asset, but as I drive like once a month, and it's just a quick stop to the post office or big PX, I don't need 'em.

Also, special thank you to Mom and Dad who have made my holidays go so much easier. Due to the lack of volunteers and their amazing generosity, I now have someone I can count on to receive holiday packages and make sure they get to the right person. I haven't decided what, but you two are getting something extra special for Christmas. Truly, you have taken a load off my shoulders.

So, on to the melancholy part. I'm actually doing really well. The weather is just about perfect, a constantly sunny fall with cool breezes. I love it. Work is about the same, learning some new things, finding new morons to complain about, and enjoying Dave's ornery stories about when he was an iron worker. He's got some great ones. He truly has lived a thousand lives and how he is still alive amazes me. I'm just in my usual funk that I get in after reading the Harry Potter series. I planned to reread it to help me get over my let-down feeling from October being over. Well, it worked too well. I'm still amazed at how well these books ensnare me, though I know everything that is going to happen. I even took yesterday afternoon off (3 hours really) to finish the Deathly Hallows because once you start from "A Final Hiding Place", you can't stop. It was magnificent, not that I expected anything different. But I am filled with the overwhelming depression that comes when you know few things will ever meet up to that experience. Much like seeing "Return of the King" or watching the series finale of Gilmore Girls, you are so happy to have been along for the ride, but so sad to say goodbye. I know it's the mark of a good artist when you can feel so deeply for a fictional character, and boy, do they make me feel.

I have a stack of books that I have been so excited to read, and held off until finishing Harry Potter. Now they seem dull and hold no interest for me. I know this will pass, it always does, but for the next few days, I'm going sulk in the absence of Harry, and just hope that one day, another artist will come close to creating the happiness these books bring me. In the meantime, I plan to take my overly high expectations out on a Stephen King novel. He can handle it and I would hate to think I didn't give a more worthy novel a chance. I'm thinking either Watership Down or Pride and Prejudice after Stephen King. Or maybe something non-fiction, like The Nine. Any suggestions???

Glasses!!! I can't see anymore!!!

2008-11-09T18:49:00.005+03:00

As some of you may know, one of my biggest priorities for my trip in October was visiting the eye doctor. I had become something of a joke in my office with the way I squint at the computer. My strained vision (mainly affected reading) wasn't a big deal until I came to Iraq and spent 11 hours a day staring at small print on a computer. So I was filled with anticipation over the idea that I could reduce my crows feet by not squinting for half of my day. However, things never go according to plan, and instead of having plenty of time to visit a reputable doctor and have even more time to select the perfect pair, I found myself at Wal-Mart, only a few days before I was about to leave, and without anyone to give me solid advice on the frames. Plus, I was on pain meds and muscle relaxants for another bout with my back, so my decision making skills were rushed and impaired. When I described the glasses to Kathy as black, chunky with rhinestones, I was not surprised when she died laughing and insisted on being the first to view these glasses. And frankly, I was doubting myself and worrying I had picked the ugliest pair just because the Wal-Mart lady kinda liked them.

Well, Mom has shipped them to me, and while I like them, I'll leave it to the jury. Feel free to leave no comment if they don't move you in any way, but otherwise, I encourage both negative and positive feedback. If you are worried I will go crashing into a pit of despair in case you think they are unflattering, remember, I'm in the desert and instantly 2 degrees hotter (both literally and figuratively) b/c of it, so I'll be fine.

Incidentally, I've learned I have a crooked smile, and that I photograph better from the left. For future reference, Emily.

Quirky Me!!! Idiot Style...

2008-11-06T04:15:00.007+03:00

Okay, so this is the first survey I've done for my blog, even though I'm sure I've been tagged numerous times before. I wish I could do more, b/c survey's are my favorite thing in the world, but what with a lack of time to spend on here, I have to make my blogging decisions carefully; the computer version of Sophie's Choice.

So Tamara, I'm not going to follow the rules exactly b/c I don't know how to provide a link to you blog, but since only family reads this, I think that's okay...they should know how to get there by now. Also, I'm not going to tag anyone b/c I literally think I only follow 6 people on their blogs and vice versa, so that seems a smidge pointless. Regardless, I have to list and detail 6 quirks of mine, so here goes:

1. Debating: I LOVE to debate. I mean, there is nothing that gets my blood pumping faster than the heat of a good discussion. I used to debate in high school and then again in college, and I tell you, I miss it. Knowing your argument is superior and being able to TALK someone into submission is a glorious feeling. On a more personal level, I love to debate with friends and family. However, I do NOT like it when people try to make someone else feel stupid, or refuse to follow basic rules of logic, or don't have opinions on even the most important of issues. I have an opinion on everything and am fully prepared to back each one up. So it kills me when someone I respect and love, doesn't have an opinion on the state of the environment, or on the education system, or on whether or not American Idol can continue their complete dominance. A perfect debate will end in an equal exchange of ideas, with no derogatory attitudes or statements, and where each member leaves the conversation more educated, with a new way to look at things, and respecting the others view. Meaning, if we are engaged in a debate over what is the greatest Disney movie of all time, I don't have to convince you it's Beauty and the Beast, and you don't have to convince me it's The Lion King. But if we leave the debate wiser and with a new found appreciation for each, then that's just bliss.

2: I hate bugs. I hate them so much I refuse to include a picture with them. I don't know when I turned into such a sissy, but I hate them. I STILL cannot watch that scene from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. You all know what I'm talking about. I understand the necessity of them, but man, they are gross. I've reached a point where I am seriously contemplating living in a cement house with only a mat on the floor so no bugs can get in and hide places. If you can think of a way they can penetrate my concrete fortress, please don't tell me.

3: Photo time is not often happy time for me. People seem to want to take pictures right when I'm in a bad mood, or maybe it's that I'm in a bad mood whenever people take pictures. The exception has become Emily, weirdly enough. I think it's because she will let me put my foot down on pictures I hate myself in and I love her for that. But if you will look back in our family albums, I'm often shown very grumpy, possibly with red eyes from throwing a childish fit.

4: I chew my fingers when I get anxious. Disgusting, I know, but it doesn't help that I spend large amounts of my time with fellow finger chewers. Many members of my family, and the most egregious of them all, Kyle. We enable each other, and then abuse each other for that same behavior. I'm thinking of putting myself into a coma for 3 weeks to possibly break myself of this habit. I can't be a finger chewer when I'm 30, can I?

5: I HAVE to watch/read things in order. Read Harry Potter book 6 without having just read the first 5? Heck no!! I get weeded just thinking about it. I can't watch a trilogy out of order, I can't watch the third season of The Office just because that's the only season someone has, I have to start at the beginning and work my way up. The ONLY exception is if the show/books/movies are set up to where history doesn't matter. For instance, The Simpsons, Law and Order, Agatha Christie novels. I know, I know, there are smidges of history, like Maude dying and such, but otherwise, watching those out of order does not effect the experience. However, I cannot just sit down to Return of the King and watch it. I have to build to that climax. And I think TRUE fans would agree with me. (yeah, I'm talking to all of you who have read Harry Potter books out of order. Heavy judgment coming from me here).

6: If there is EVER a Top Model marathon going on, I'm watching it. I've seen all the cycles (yes, Tyra is pretentious enough to call them cycles, not seasons), but that doesn't matter. If I don't have to be anywhere, and sometimes, even if I do, I put it on, cook to it, sleep to it, eat to it. I love me some Top Model and VH1 and MTV have NO problem supplying me with enough to feed the purple dragon.

So I don't know if those were actually quirks, but if Alanis can sing a song about irony and use examples that aren't ironic, I can claim these 6 factoids about myself are quirky.

Suicide Watch Over.

2008-10-28T04:23:00.002+03:00

Okay, I'm back in Tikrit. Crazy depressed Beckie has disappeared (not forever b/c I will have to return to Kuwait for all future exits from Iraq) and I'm getting back into the swing of things. One thing that is not working out for me is getting my sleep routine back to normal. I'm a pretty cocky sleeper, b/c I can sleep almost anywhere, at any time, and for nice long stretches uninfluenced by things like noise, movement, etc. The only condition I usually have a hard time sleeping in is the heat. I mean, I'm the girl who has no problem falling asleep on a flight for 12 hours and sleeping every moment except free meal time. But this jet lag is kicking my rear. I'm currently writing this at 4 a.m. my time after waking at 1:30 a.m., not able to go back to sleep. I attempted for an hour, knowing my body was exhausted, but to no avail. So I turned on the t.v. to discover a classic Lost episode from season 2 where Sayid takes Ben in (though at this time he's going by Henry Gale). Remember when we all thought Sayid might be wrong and Ben was just a harmless victim of the island? Crazy times.

Anyways, now that I'm back, I'm in a much better state of mind. I've already gotten my packages I sent to myself a week ago (great timing), so things are humming along nicely. Turns out my job is still boring, in case anyone was wondering. I'm running low on movies to watch, so I got another Hitchcock selection on Amazon. The people making these collections must have talked before b/c this one includes 8 movies not in the collection I already have. Perfect! It has Strangers on a Train, which I'm most excited about. I love that one. However, I only watch those movies on Saturdays, so I think I'm going to have to delve into the small collection my office has of semi-crappy movies. One's I will only watch if I have to exert no effort to get the movie in my hands. I'll keep you posted. Maybe one will surprise me.

Just to reiterate, it was great to see everyone. Thank you for doing Thanksgiving early for me. My biggest disappointment is that no games were played in that glorious weekend, but I figure if that's my biggest disappointment, I can count myself pretty lucky. We did play domino's my first night back, and that was pretty cool. But this just means the next time any of you see me, I will be merciless in making you play any and all games with me.

Thanks for your prayers for me. Love you all...

Living it down in Kuwait

2008-10-24T18:34:00.002+03:00

Hi all. So I just realized that I didn't blog at all while visiting all of you in the states. Not that I had anything interesting to say, but you think I could have made something up. Actually, I didn't do a lot of things I planned to do. I guess I got caught up in the socializing part of it. I hardly interneted, I didn't grocery shop and ship myself back some healthy things, I didn't see as many movies as I wanted, and I definitely did not get to sleep as late as I planned.

Well, here is my chance to make up for some of that. Sleep. I am stuck in Kuwait, and I find that all I want to do is sleep; except when I need to. For instance, I needed to be somewhere at 6:30 a.m. this morning for accountability (basically, sit in a room till they call out your name, proving you are here and they can now start worrying about getting you on a flight), but i couldn't fall asleep until 5 a.m. So that led to me sleeping from 8 a.m. this morning until 4 p.m. I guess I'm still on American time. Very frustrating.

Also, being here in Kuwait is not quite the adventure it was the first time. There is no anticipation of going home, no break from 4 months of straight work, nothing like that. The rose-colored glasses are off, and I am super depressed. I need to get back to Tikrit and back in my routine b/c I know I would feel so much better, but until then, I walk around this camp like a zombie, just dreading every minute I have to be here. My only escape is all the sleeping I do, and episodes of 30 Rock on my laptop. I've already plowed through the first season and if I am still here all day tomorrow, I will be done with season 2. What will I do then????? I wish I could write with some more humor and optimism, but my spirits are low, and will stay that way until I am home (my temporary home in Tikrit). It didn't help that I had a miserable experience at the airport. Basically, I was told a person from the USACE group would be waiting for me when I got off, but they weren't. This could be because our flight got in 30 minutes early, but I waited at the gate for a while, then tried to be proactive and go to baggage claim, thinking they may be there. I got stopped before that saying I needed to get a visa. What??? No one told me about this, so I went back upstairs, wandered around a bit, realized I needed to call someone but had no phone numbers. So I went into a bathroom stall, had a 5 minute panic attack, and went back out.

I knew I had the phone number for Dave on my laptop, and knew he could help, so then I began the airport wide search for an outlet. I literally walked the whole upper floor before finding the one random area where they have outlets, and thanks be to heaven, had my adaptor in my laptop case. Further thanks, the airport had an unsecured wireless line I could use. So, knowing Dave prefers email, I emailed him with my quandry, and it only took 5 minutes to get a response. According to him, yes I need a visa, and no, no one waits for us...we have to go outside, look for the american's standing in a line, and get on the bus headed for Ali Al Saleem (Tent City). So fine, I calm myself down a bit, and go to the visa area, where I have to wait almost 2 hours to get my visa. Get my visa, head downstairs to get out (yeah, you have to go downstairs first to get out upstairs), encounter no trouble, and head outside. No American's. Just a large ant farm of various middle-easterners running about. I am so lost at this point. I finally spot a couple of American's (they have the military backpacks, that's how I know) and hang out around them. They look like they are waiting for something, so naturally I assume it's the same thing I'm waiting for. I sit outside for about an hour and a half, not asking, just assuming. To be fair, these guys were not friendly looking, and you know how I hate looking stupid or helpless. But when one by one, they start going back into the airport, not on a bus, I am forced to ask someone if they are trying to get to Ali Al Saleem. Of course they are not. They just wanted to smoke until their flight was boarding. Luckily, a random American had come to that area to smoke and was like, "you need to talk to a girl in a blue-striped polo at the starbucks downstairs. I had to the last time I came back from R&R." Clearly, there is some random procedure for this that they don't deem important enough to tell me about. I go back downstairs, no girl in a striped blue polo is there. So I ask a couple of older guys who looked like contractors about it and they directed me to two girls who were checking people in (no polo's in site). I got checked in and found out there is a shuttle leaving at 10:10 p.m.. Mind you, I've been at this airport since 4:30 p.m. I am so done with the airport, but also grateful to have a plan. All goes well with this, and when I get to tent city, I begin the process of getting checked in. Only to find out by the USACE girl, she WAS there, waiting for me, and I never showed. WHAT???? Yes, I showed, she never showed. Or no one was clear as to where I should have been. I mean, I'm getting all the blame in this. And because I got to Tent City so late, I have to wait another day to get my flight clearance. If I had gotten there by 8 p.m. like planned, I would have gotten clearance the next morning. This is at midnight I'm finding this out.

To ice the poison cake of my crappy day, I get to my tent, all the bottom bunks are taken, and I have to sleep on the top bunk. Crap. I slept 13 hours straight, and woke up wishing I were anywhere but there. Not to continue being a debbie downer, but I am truly downplaying all of my overwhelming feelings of being lost, confused, tired, scared, angry, all of it. I didn't think I could have a worse travel experience than my initial one here, but I did. Oh, and I didn't even go into the leering I recieved from 1 out of 10 middle eastern guys. I mean, blatent leering.

So, hopefully my next post will find me in better spirits. But I think the only way that could happen is if I am in Tikrit. I truly am dreading my next R&R if my travels are even half of what I experienced this time. I may end up stuck in Iraq for the rest of the year just to avoid the absolute misery. Not really, but I shudder to think of what new things will be thrown at me the next time around.

Kuwait, both everything and nothing I expected.

2008-09-27T19:27:00.002+03:00

Hi family. I'm sitting here, in Kuwait, like a tool b/c I brought my laptop to an internet cafe, not realizing they provide the computers, and relieved to have that big chunk of the journey over with. And oh what a journey it was.

So, this past week has been filled with a contained excitement, and in hopes of pushing the anticipation to it's breaking point, I decided to wait until the end of the week to do all the things I needed to in order to prepare for the trip. I don't know why I do this. It's the same at Christmas time, when I push the bulk of my shopping off until 3 days before Christmas, and lately, Christmas Eve. I have a sick problem. I had turned in my AMR papers a week before (Air Movement Request) and asked to leave as soon as Saturday. So, I'm foolishly thinking I can push things off (packing, finish work, clean out email, get important documents together), and go about my week with coming home at the back of my mind at all times. I did get a few things done ahead of time, like give Dave a calendar of all the projects I do through the week so he knows when he needs to do them, and I shipped a box home of dvd's borrowed from you lovely family members, and books I've read and need to move so I can acquire more books. But that's about it. And I had S-Tina/Florentine telling me to pack early b/c I might be asked to leave earlier in case bad weather was predicted or something. And I laughed, and agreed with her, all the while knowing I would do nothing. (I know this is a lot of preface, but meh, I don't have much to do here but bore you all with the details).

Well, Friday morning rolls around. I oversleep a little bit b/c I went to the gym the night before and that had me revved when I should have been trying to go to sleep. I go in, send a couple of emails, and get a phone call from our Operations guy asking me to see him when he gets a moment. Still thinking everything is cool, b/c we are usually told what time our flight is leaving the day before. Well, I go down, and he informs me that Saturday and Sunday are Red Days...basically, no one but super important people or emergencies are going to get out over those next two days. As a contractor going on R&R, I am at the bottom of the totem pole. So he recommends I go down to the ADAC (airfield) and put my name on the standby list so I can possibly get out today. WHAT????? is what I'm thinking in my head, while telling him that sounds like great advice. I clearly don't want to push it until after the weekend because if weather becomes an issue, then I would potentially miss my chance to get to Kuwait in time for my flight.

Okay, this story is already getting way to long. I'll sum up with the highlights, and details will come when I get to talk to you all face to face. Basically, I go and find out that I need to be back at the ADAC in 2 hours to see if I can get on (you are supposed to be there 4 hours before the flight to see if you are on the manifest). I get back, do the fastest packing job ever, go to work and do as much as I can (send in my vacay timecards, clean out my email), and rush to the ADAC, only to sit for 7 straight hours, weasel my way onto a flight, sit for 5 more hours, and finally fly to Kuwait. Events during this trip include waiting on the actual airfield for our plane to land, only to board it 5 minutes later, nearly throwing up on the flight over (no joke, I had cold sweats and everything, and was convinced the trip would end in me barfing in my helmet), get to Kuwait and become incredibly confused over Kuwaiti Dinar (their currency...I had to withdraw some Dinar to pay for my visa, thought they said thirty, when in fact they said three, withdraw 40 to cover my bases, only to discover I withdrew approximately 200 dollars worth of dinar), get to my tent which is filled with 6 bunkbeds and a light that never shuts off, get lost the next morning and have to go back to billeting to discover where I sleep, and spend my day reading and getting more familiar with the surroundings.

Needless to say, it's been a very eventful 36 hours. Now I am at the internet cafe, with only 22 more minutes on my session, tired and dreading the return to the tent, and wondering how I am going to fill the next 4 days. But, like I said, this is one huge chunk of my journey done. Soon I will be in the Kuwaiti airport, weeded out of my mind trying to figure out my ticket, find my gate, and entertain myself for 4 hours. Good times in the Middle East.

So much to do, so little time...

2008-09-18T05:39:00.002+03:00

In two weeks, if all goes well, I should be sitting in Dulles Airport right about now, waiting 90 minutes to board a plane that takes me to Kansas City, where Kyle should be waiting to pick me and Kathy up. It's a moment I've thought about a lot, and one that is getting closer and closer.

How do I feel? Well, excited, of course, but as the time draws nearer, a lot of other emotions are going through me as well. Panic, that I will forget something crucial (like my passport or check card). Curiosity, has four months changed my perspective, or is that all hooey that I tell myself to convince myself I've grown. Anxiety, that my planning for this wedding shower will still not be enough and I'll be left scrambling the two days I have before it. Hope, that I will not drag my heels when it's time to say goodbye again and know that the next stint over here will allow me to go to Europe. Irritation, at all the grad school processes I have to take care of while home and still haven't gotten done over here. Dread, at that stupid GRE. Fear, that all the steps I have to take to actually get to Kuwait, and then get to the Kuwaiti airport, will be hard and influenced by factors out of my control. Glee, at the thought of all the friends and family I get to see, and that my only responsibility while being home is to see all of you.

Was that enough emoting for you? The robot feels. It's true. Right now, the more negative ones are taking over. For three and a half months, it was all excitement, but now I'm filled with all the things I need to do. I need to study more (I've slacked in the past few weeks), I need to write a rough draft of a personal statement, I need to make a good list of everything I plan to borrow from Mom and Dad (sleeping bag, pillow, piece of cardboard covered in foil for the cake I'm decorating,)(see? I've already started), I need to make a good list of things I need to do before the wedding, I need to see if my dress still fits, I need new clothes and shoes, I need to ship some boxes home, I need to clear my desk of all my work and make procedures for those who are taking over my duties, I need to go to logistics to get my air and ground movement papers filled out, I need to not eat that delicious ice cream bar that calls my name every day at the DFAC, I need to get my lodging set up and finalize plans, I need, I need, I need.

Okay, just breathe Beckie. These are good weeds. They get you closer to the goal. You don't need to stress about this because in two weeks, you will be in America. You will be chilling with Kathy, planning out your first taste of American food (she's thinking Chipotle, I'm leaning towards Jimmy Johns). You will be getting your haircut the day after, and you know how much you love someone to touch your head (you were a dog in another life). You will be eating Mom and Dad's homemade pizza soon. You will get to hold Noah and see how much he's grown. You get to drive your own car and listen to NPR. You get to sleep in. You get to go to the movie theater and pay way too much money for popcorn you never finish and watch a movie that is more than likely not worth the build-up (if only The Road could be released in October). You get to sit around various tables, laughing with friends and family, and just be.

Wow, when starting this entry, I didn't realize it would become three paragraphs full of lists. The past two days though, this has been my thought process. And I have a feeling, it will be for the next two weeks. Pray for the weather to not be crappy when I'm trying to leave Speicher and Kathy is trying to leave the IZ. Pray that I will figure out all the steps I have to take both here, and then at Tent City while I wait for my flight (I'll be there about 3 days). Pray that the flights are on time and travel safely. Other than that, just hold tight b/c I'll be seeing you all soon.

Is there a fall in Iraq?

2008-09-04T19:21:00.002+03:00

I hate that September is when the season of Fall officially begins. I mean, what a tease. You begin to anticipate that cool weather, the smell of burning wood, the anticipation of sweaters and brisk mornings. I remember the first day of school always had a bite in the air that seemed appropriate for the new things starting. Now I'm starting to wonder if I imagined it all. If my memory filled in the blanks with what I wish September brought. I think I did. I'm pretty sure those yearly pictures of us going of to school the first day are filled with shorts. And shorts do not go well with brisk mornings. Maybe I'm getting sentimental for the chilliness of Indian summer because I am in the armpit of the world. I mean, I thought the heat of June and July was the worst it could get. And I was quite proud of myself for the graceful way I handled it...i.e. I didn't get angry at random things like I normally do when hot. Then August rolled around and I realized my ignorance of the past two months. August was a beast. It was even hot at 4:30 in the morning, a time that I previously cherished b/c it was so cool and pleasant.

So I've eagerly been anticipating September, hearing that things cool off right about now. And I don't know why I'm so surprised to find they haven't. They never do back home. My fake memories are just that, fake. September is just as miserable as August, but worse somehow, because you are so ready for fall. You've drug out all of your sweaters and cute closed-toed shoes, eager to rock the layers, only to discover the layers would cause a heat stroke if you were to actually attempt them. I think the heat is finally getting to me. I'm so irritated by it that I'm even imagining being back home in the states and getting irritated with it. I have multi-continental irritation with heat right now.

On that scholastic note, I just got Sarah's calculator in the mail, so I must begrudgingly begin my math preparations for the GRE. Horror. I hate to sound like a cliche, but seriously, most of the stuff I'm having to study for I will never use in my future life. In fact, if faced with a stupid analogy or algebraic problem, I will run in the opposite direction and sign up for the first garbage collecting job I can get. Seriously, none of the things I want to do truly involve the contents of the GRE. I understand the necessity of the LSAT, and the MCAT and even the one for engineering. But the GRE? I think Kaplan just found another way to make a buck off of desperate students. Or it's another government conspiracy to keep us distracted from the sheer ineptitude of the balance of powers.

Maybe I need a break...I'm finding conspiracies in everything. Time for a vacay.

Oh, and thank you so much Sarah. We have a lunch/ice cream date in our near future so I may show my utter gratitude. You are the best!

I'm either really predictable or you guys are really good. You decide.

2008-08-28T19:17:00.003+03:00

I like to think that when they were handing out brains, I thought they said awesome family, and asked for a big one. Okay, I know that's not how the usual joke goes and that if Dad were left in charge of it, he would have come up with the perfect substitute for brains and had it still transition perfectly into what I"m going to write about. Sue me. I'm bad at puns.
Back to this awesome family, I really must have done something right up there, because I just sit here smiling, thinking about how great you are. This past week, I've gotten not one, but two care packages from my dear older sisters, Emily and Elise. Add that to the weekly letters I get from either mom or one from Elise or Juli (who I've decided have set up some sort of schedule so I get a letter from one of them every couple of weeks or so), and also the things I've ordered online, and I'm getting a reputation for most mail received. And man, that makes me happy (and a little smug). It makes my morning go by more quickly (that's when we get it), it keeps my afternoon light just thinking about it, and I go to bed counting my blessings like Bing tells us.

Just to give you all a taste of some of the things I've got, here are some pix. For the first one, to represent Juli's, I had to pull a picture from the internet of my favorite item in her care package, b/c I ate the rest of it. So I have no evidence except my satisfied face to show you. (Sorry I didn't get a pic in before devouring the care package, Juli).

These were included in my healthy food care package, and I am only slightly ashamed to say that I was able to down all the bags (I think there were three) in one sitting, defeating the whole 100 calorie purpose. But I couldn't help myself. They were delicious. I loved everything else, but these little suckers stood out in my mind.

Next care package I received was from mom. It included some old magazines (which I love, b/c everything is old to me here, so I don't even notice. I've even shared the National Geographics with a fellow NG lover). She also included some movies in a Netflix-esque arrangement, a cute little lambie, some pictures of you all (which are perfect for my room and office) and other little thoughtful gestures.

Then I got a care package from Emily. She had thoughtfully included some books I've been wanting to read (most of them her favorites, so now I get someone to talk to about the books), some fun little things like that unicorn picture I'm working on coloring, some flavored lip-gloss (and I know she couldn't have guessed it, but my favorite thing right now are the healthy versions of the cookies the lip-gloss is flavored like...I lick my lips all the time), jewelry, and some really cute fingerless gloves from Etsy (?I think?).

Here's a pic of my awkward looking hand holding the series of Arrested Development that Joe is graciously letting me borrow (thanks again!). I can't wait to revisit the crazy Bluth family. I've decided George Michael is going to be my favorite for this viewing. And I love the gloves. They are so punk, yet so cute and comfortable. I am ready to rock them at work!!!

And today, I got a care package from Elise, who I swear must be reading my mind, b/c she included mini hand lotions, sanitizers, m&m's (peanut and peanut butter) and more books and movies for me to enjoy. Plus, she included drink mixes to add to my bottled water (the only thing I drink over here) and a set of Monet note-cards so that you all may continue to enjoy my rambling letters in a pretty package.

All of these packages truly reinforce how much you guys know me. I mean Juli, without any provocation from me (that I know of...did we talk while I was asleep?) packed me tons of healthy snacks and fun little presents within the first month of being here. And then Mom sends me movies that are just what I wanted to watch. And though she knew I knew about the movies, she still included other things she knows' I will enjoy (the lamb was a perfect touch. It reminds me of your music studio and Alfred). Next is Emily who added the perfect small gestures that just made me smile. I can't wait to show off my owl bling, and dive into those books. And I lasted 2 hours before I had to start coloring that silly unicorn picture. Finally, Elise, who I SWEAR must be reading my mind. My hands get so dry over here and I find myself applying lotion all of the time. The thing is, I've been using the rest of this scentless lotion my predecessor left behind. And scentless smells like play-dough. Yuck. But I don't have a lot of options over here. So getting those mini lotions was perfect. And I love the sanitizers, which will be well used b/c with all those dust storms, I'm constantly washing my hands. And it's just everything else. She knows how much I love crosswords, so she included NY Times crosswords for me. Elise remembered that Monet is my favorite artist, and gets me cards with his paintings on the front.

I could go on and on about all of you for the things you've sent me. But that might get dull. And this entry isn't meant to make anyone feel guilty for not sending me something (I've already laid that guilt trip down, and look, it got me three packages). I just am so delighted that all of you get me. You really put thought into what I would like, what I need, and what would make me smile. I mean, I don't think I'm that predictable, so it must mean that you guys really take the time to know me. Man, I got lucky. Each of those packages are very different from the other, yet they all manage to fit me perfectly.

I love you all so much, and I can't thank you enough for your support, whether it be in your prayers, your comments, or wrapped up in a nicely, overtaped (thanks post office), package.

Dust Storm Watch/Warning

2008-08-24T19:14:00.006+03:00

Due to the success of posting some pictures, I thought I would continue that trend this week with the latest. I didn't take these pix, but I would have if I had time to run back to my CHU (compact housing unit) in time.

First off is an image of my work trailer and an average weather day at Speicher. Hot, pretty clear, windy (though you can't tell in the picture), with helicopters coming and going all day long.

Now, the other day, we had a duststorm approaching. Normally, about twice a week, we will have a duststorm hang around all day long. People are recommended to wear masks when walking outside, you feel dirty all day, and visibility is like that of a foggy day. To help you understand, imagine a day with constant, but light rainfall. Definitely noticable, but you get used to it and it doesn't effect you too much. Now, the duststorm in these pictures is what a tornado would be like. You can see it coming, it's very powerful, but doesn't last longer than 20 minutes. Plus, they are not common at all. I was very excited to get to view one of these.
Isn't that crazy looking? Now, for weather, this is moving very fast, but in our minds, not that fast. People saw this in the distance, and we had about 5-10 minutes to stand there and gawk before we would get caught in it.

There I am, acting cheesy for the camara, and clearly pointing out the obvious.

Now, at this point, I go back inside b/c I don't want to be caught in the middle of it. Those who have been caught tell me it gets much hotter, windier, and visibility is zero. In fact, Dave's been in one that was much larger, much blacker, and he said no one could even see their hands for the first few minutes of the storm. This one wasn't nearly as bad.

I love this picture because it's like a before and after paint job. By the way, the person posing is the head of USACE in the north. Her name is Colonel Burcham.

This last one is right before it really started to hit us. It only took a few minutes to cover the sky and make it seem like we were in a dust-globe.

Cool, eh? So, this is the tornado equivalant of a duststorm in Iraq. I hope you can get a pretty good sense of what it's like. Just another day in the crazy life of a desert dweller.

An attempt at some pictures...

2008-08-17T19:03:00.007+03:00

Hello all. I apologize for my extended absence. I won't go into details now, but let's just say numerous times the MWR trailer has failed me. We aren't speaking right now, but we can be in the same room. Progress.

I am going to attempt to post some pictures of my surroundings. We will see how it goes.

Alright, this here is a picture of the bunker I am to run into if an air-raid or something to that effect occurs. Hasn't happened yet, and I'm not gonna lie, I will be a happy camper if I never see the inside of that sucker. These sandbag surrounded bunkers are all over the USACE and other compounds. In fact, in the unfortunate event that I may need this, I doubt I will be joined by anyone in here b/c there are so many to choose from. And being alone frightens me. I mean, Florentine (S-Tina to Emily), the administrative assistant who I talk to a lot once was in her bunker during one of many air-raids in the early days of the war, fell asleep, and no one thought to tell her when it was all done. She woke up a couple of hours later, walked into work and was like, "Why didn't anyone tell me I could go back?" Apparently, they are supposed go bunker to bunker to do a head count. I still laugh thinking about her napping during an air-raid, decked out in her gear, which leads me to...

This is my official gear. Much better than most as it is lighter and prettier. The other's have these brick filled camo-versions. I'll try to get a picture of that later so you can compare. I keep this in my work trailer, where we are required to keep it. I've only worn it once, on my flight from Baghdad to Speicher, and it was not fun. I didn't wear the helmet b/c I'll be honest with you; I'm not sure if I can work it right. I really need to try it out, but the only time I have was in front of expert military folks and I already looked like a fish out of water...why encourage that image?

Alright, so this is the Town Square so to speak. First off, notice those two lovely patches of grass that they justify owning a self-propelling mower for. Second, notice the cute little lights. They really try to make us feel like we are in a cul-de-sac or something. Lastly, you will notice that structure there in the middle. Not only does it have ceiling fans in it (why??), but it has speakers hooked up and lighting; once a week, Aloha Bob (he's from Hawaii if you don't get it) set's up his awesome movie screen, his projector and shows a movie for anyone who wants to see it. I watched "No Country For Old Men" there. Unfortunately, the other movie choices are often lacking (he's apparently a big Jackie Chan fan...and not the good Jackie Chan movies), so I don't usually partake. But it's nice to know about. On the other side are a bunch of picnic tables, automatic seating for our monthly Hail and Farewells. And when we bid adieu to our commander, this place was packed with chairs and coolers for bottled water. Even then, I had to stand for most of it, b/c chairs are for important people. Not lowly contractors. I'm filing a discrimination lawsuit as we speak.

Lastly, we have the famous picture I couldn't upload but had you all pitted in a fierce competition to guess. Well, I guess it was more mild than fierce. Sad for me. I like to see biting involved in all competitive pursuits. Anyways, these signs are posted ALL OVER the laundry room. The funny thing is, while I don't think any of us would send out fliers of the information we deal with, neither do we really handle that sensitive of material. Sure, maybe the E&C chief does, as well as our commander. But the majority of us deal with plain ole' contracts and projects. Oh, and proof that aliens exist and live in Iceland. But you all knew that, right? Right? ***uh-oh***

I think I've been successful here, which renews my desire to get some good pictures. Next time I head to the post office, I'll attempt a pic of Saddam's stadiums. And I want to get a good one of our many dust storms (it turns almost orange). And a Black Hawk helicopter would be nice. So stay tuned...

Dog Days and all that.

2008-08-08T18:41:00.002+03:00

So it's the end of the first week in August. It actually went by pretty fast, which I never mind. I love things that move by quickly when I have anticipation simmering slowly. However, my panic mode for Grad School has also been moving along quickly as well. I plan to take the GRE on October 7th. Believe me, the dread and anxiety I feel over this test is only matched by the panic I feel for the actual application process and the desperate hunt for recommendations that aren't there. I have begun studying my GRE book and am already lost. I haven't even hit the math section yet. I find my mind a complete blank during the studying process and while thinking about the likelihood of getting in.

The thing is, I know it's not the end of the world if I don't get into grad school. Worse things have happened. I will do what I always do, survive. What stresses me out are those with an absolute certainty that I should get in. I hate that. Because if I don't get accepted, then I feel like I've let down more than myself. And the fact is, I'm not as competitive as people are fooling themselves into believing. I'm pretty average. Add that to the complete lack of academic recommendations I have in my court and odds aren't great. I wish I could get a job advising people what they need to do from my mistakes. I mean, yes, you hear certain bits of wisdom on what will make you really competitive for college and grad school, but I really feel they leave a lot out. For instance, the relationships you have to build with your faculty. I never realized how important this was until I was a year graduated and it was too late to go back and cultivate a mentor type bond.

So I've now feel enormous anxiety over this GRE that I don't understand, and doubt I ever will. When did it become so easy to forget everything you've ever learned? I can rock at the movie game, but give me a word analogy and I'm screwed. Because of all of this stress I've heaped on myself, work becomes a blissful relief. Never though I would say that.

Therefore, I fear/hope these next two months fly by, and then it will all be prayers and wishing after that.

Why, oh why did I not major in business?

Give it up for the downhill slope!

2008-08-03T19:48:00.002+03:00

Alright, I've officially been here longer than it will be till October. I promise to stop with this countdown stuff...no, I can't promise that. It's just that in my mind, reaching August 1st was such a milestone. It signifies a lot of other stuff as well. For instance, I need to kick my GRE studying into high gear, as well as officially pick the schools I plan to apply to. Also, it means that near the end of the month, I need to start hammering out my schedule for the 2+ weeks in the States, which involves an eye doctor appointment, the GRE, paying off some loans, stuff like this. You would think I would dread all of that, but as it means I will be around your smiling faces, I have no negative feelings towards any of it. So August promises to be super productive (cross your fingers) and just closer to October as every day goes by. BTW's, I'm so obsessed with this visit, I don't know how you missionaries out there did it, going 18 months to a year without seeing family and friends, and only 2 phone calls a year. I have even MORE respect for all of you.

Today was a good day. I can't really explain why, I just walked with a lighter step. Maybe it was because the gym didn't kick my butt as hard as it normally does. Maybe it was because I caught 10 minutes of the first Harry Potter movie and loved seeing Daniel Radcliffe so young. (Sidenote, can you believe I hadn't had any interest in reading the books until after seeing the first movie? I mean, talk about clueless. That fateful night viewing the first film with Juli and others I can't remember changed my life). My good mood could stem from the fact that I am slowly but surely grasping my complicated job. Yes, 80% of it is just data entry and downloads, but that last 20% requires an amazing memory, analysis skills, and a firm hand, which has been hard to learn. So having some small successes really makes my day. I think a large part of this mood though comes from all the love and support I get from you guys and from my friends. I mean, you all have really stepped it up and given me so much more than I could hope for. For instance (personal shout-out time):
Mom and Dad: I love the phone calls we have every week. Whether we are talking finances, mom's easy job(jealous), Trissy, the great sports year, or the current political climate (war with Iran, Yikes!), it's a great conversation. Thanks for taking time out of your Friday nights to make my Saturday's something to look forward to.
Juli: Once again, the care package was, and still is, fantastic. I also love your comments on my blog, b/c I know that internet access for you is similar to mine...very limited. I know you are thinking about me often and I can feel it through your loving words.
Em/Joe/Noah: The updates on your family, through all of your blogs. I was such a huge part of your lives for a year, and it became addictive. It's been really hard to let go of being with you all. Eating dinner at your house, sitting together amazed at what a wonderful kid you two have, going to movies (pre-Noah), hanging in the CWE, our mutual love of Jack in the Box, I miss it all. Thank you again for letting me be a part of your family, and thanks for keeping me in the loop so that my return will (hopefully) be seamless.
Elise: For your entertaining life updates and sharing my life with mutual friends. I love that you've updated fellow acquaintances at Cracker Barrel. You keep that bridge going with people from our past that I always seem to burn (inadvertantly usually). And I'm grateful that you treasure relationships more than I, because lets face it, I'm horrible at staying in touch. And talking to you on the phone was a delightful treat. Good luck with Tonks!!!
Steven/Tamara: You two have been especially awesome at letting me know how you are doing (through your blogs) and taking an interest in mine. I love the emails I get from you two, the gchats that randomly happen with Steven, and the promise of a delicious meal out with you two in October.
Sarah: With both of us being in such different places, communication is harder for us. But knowing that you are also going through such a life-changing experience really builds a comraderie. Oh the stories we will tell each other that the others will only be confused by, b/c their summers have not been the culture shock that ours have been.
Kirsti: your emails. I hope you don't mind writing them, because I have found them to be so entertaining. I remember Juli always saying to me as I grew from a 13 year old to the woman that I am now, "I love the person you are becoming. It's so amazing to watch." Okay, those aren't exact words, but I remember being equally confused and delighted at that statement. Now I understand where she is coming from. Reading your emails has really opened my eyes (further) to the fantastic person you are becoming. I've always adored you, but now it's really cool to know you as an (almost) adult.

Okay, that's the only sappy email you all are getting this month. Seriously though, writing this has only opened my eyes further at how amazingly lucky I am to have all of you. I can get through any year, anywhere, as long as you folks are backing me up.

What are you doing in October?

2008-07-27T18:33:00.002+03:00

This week I turned in my travel request for my first R&R and got approved almost immediately!!!
I was fairly confident there wouldn't be any issues with getting approved, but it still feels great to have it official. Now I'm waiting on Kathy to get approved (she turned hers in today) and then I can buy my ticket. For those of you who don't know, I plan to leave Kuwait on October 1st at 11:45 p.m., arriving in Kansas City on October 2nd at 10:24 a.m. Ah, the wonders of jumping time zones. Why Kansas City you ask? Well, I plan to do a lot of visiting and driving, so I wanted immediate access to my car. I've managed to convince Kyle to drive up to Kansas City, pick Kathy and I up, and head to Columbia, where I will say quick hello's to family there, and head on to St. Louis. I will be spending the bulk of those first two weeks in St. Louis, doing bridesmaid duties for my friend Jenna. Kathy and I have decided to use our accrued vacation time (a whole 4 days!!!) to extend the visit, and I don't plan to leave until October 22, from St. Louis, in the afternoon. What does this mean for you readers? Well, I'm sure Mom has gotten with you and informed you of an early Thanksgiving the weekend of the 17-19, and I think even Juli and Elise are driving up for that. So I know I will get to see you then. But if you catch me early enough, I would love to set up other hang out times. Emily and Noah already get a day from me, but that's easy, as they are in St. Louis. And I realize this might turn into a schedule-a-thon, which I don't want b/c who can have fun when obsessing over what appointment I have next? I guess what I am trying to say is that if there is something you really want me to do with you, let me know, and we'll work it out.
I'm so excited to be getting this ball rolling. The main scheduling I'm doing is planning out what delicious food I'm going to eat. I'm not kidding here folks. I think my first meal will be in Columbia at Chipotle, while I wait for the optimum number of loved ones to be home so I can say my much-anticipated hellos at once. I plan to eat Blackthorn pizza that Friday night in St. Louis, and work in some Jimmy Johns for lunch one of those days. This is only a hint of the planning I'm doing. I've missed great food so badly, I dream about it. So take a moment the next time you eat some delicious chokes and cheese from Flatbranch, or a chalupa from Taco Bell, or anything Ben and Jerry's related, and be grateful that your best meal of the day doesn't involve oatmeal with flavorless watermelon on the side.

Now, after I buy my ticket, the hardest part is yet to come: getting off of Speicher. It is notoriously hard due to weather and other circumstances; therefore, people start trying to get out as many as 5 days before their flight is scheduled to leave in Kuwait. So, when the time draws near, pray for me and an issue-less departure from base. Don't worry, I'll remind you.

I came to Iraq and all I got was this sand-flea bite.

2008-07-21T19:26:00.002+03:00

Okay, I don't know if I've actually been bitten by a sand-flea yet. I mean, I've had a couple of mosquito-esque bites in the past month, and haven't seen any mosquito's, so I'm assuming it's the dreaded sand-fleas. At least it isn't flesh-eating ants, which DO exist in parts of Africa. Who was watching that Discovery investigation with me about the baby being covered in them? Kirsti?

Now that I've sufficiently horrified you, let me continue to do so by saying that as we speak, Barack Obama is in Iraq. I don't have the same feelings as most of you about the democratic nominee, so I find this kind of exciting. I mean, I still plan to vote independent, so it isn't politically motivated. But just the fact that I'm in a country that is a destination spot for a presidential hopeful is pretty cool. And the thing is, Kathy might get to meet him. I was telling Steven earlier that Kathy has to wear her Kevlar vest for the next couple of days, not because Barack might take a shot at her, but b/c they anticipate extra action around the IZ. Apparently, Barack plans to stop by the Palace there (once housed Sadaam himself, but now houses offices and a DFAC) and do his usual kissing babies, spreading propaganda schtick. I mean, she comes to Iraq to meet a possible future president. How crazy is that? So I am sure the security measures I went through for the visiting military officials pale in comparison to what she will go through.

Lastly, just watched Rear Window the other night, and I completely forgot how good it was. I think I was just in an unenlightened time when I first saw it, b/c I definitely wouldn't have put it on my top 5 Hitchcock movies of all time. But I'm going to have to amend that. I love all of the sharp dialogue, and the feelings of paranoia and not being believed. Everything. I recommend everyone give it another go, because you won't be disappointed. I mean, I was so thoroughly entertained by every part of that movie. Icing on the cake would be to watch the Simpsons parody afterward, but alas, I don't have access to such things.

That's all...enjoy your week everyone.

"We'll follow the old man er woman..."

2008-07-17T19:09:00.003+03:00

Tomorrow is a big deal for the USACE group. We are changing commanders. Our former commander is returning to the States, and a female colonel is taking over. Don't ask me what the military titles mean, just know that this is a big enough deal for the general over camp Speicher to make an appearance. Now, while I may not be working directly for the military, I'm still required to participate in all activities the rest of USACE does. I'm not allowed to exclude myself, that way, an attitude of togetherness can be fostered. So I will be with my fellow workers, sitting in the heat of Iraq, listening to various figureheads posture on the state of construction in Iraq. Pardon me if I'm not too excited about this. The one cool thing is that they are bringing dogs in tomorrow morning to sniff out scary things. I assume this is for the General. And while I am a bit resentful at the concept that they only bring in the dogs when a bigwig shows up, I am appreciative of the fact that they are making the camp the most secure it can be. I just wish I could play with the dogs, but I think they have a no-touch rule. Too bad.

Meanwhile, the power went out for about 20 minutes today. I was shocked at how quickly my south pole-like trailer became a stuffy closet. For that 20 minutes, I had horrifying visions of having to sleep and eat in this condition. I nearly worked myself into a heat-induced frenzy. I can't begin to tell you the things I will do to avoid being hot when trying to sleep. They may involve Fear Factor-esque tasks. Thank heavens we don't have to find out how cheaply I'm willing to sell my dignity for a working air-conditioner (yet).

Work continues to be the same. Nothing too interesting to report there. I'm finding these past couple of weeks dragging. That's not how it's supposed to go! I'm supposed to live a half-like existence where the days drag, but the weeks fly by. Sadly, this is not the case for the month of July. Many of you already know my goal is to make it to August, b/c this means that I will be on the downhill cycle of this ride. So, here's hoping the latter half of the month goes by more quickly than the first couple of weeks.

On another note, I've started Planet Earth. So far, it completely lives up to the promise. I'm actually quite surprised (pleasantly) at the number of times I've laughed out loud. Animals are funny. They also are quite tragic. This documentary does not hold back on the realities of nature and her patterns. When an elephant started going the wrong way towards much needed water, I nearly started bawling. And while I respect and understand the film crews need to remain objective and detached, I still was wishing they would land their helicopter and lead this elephant back in the right direction. I hope to finish quickly, so that those of you who don't want to shell out the cash can enjoy the delights of this series. I only wish I could watch these with someone. Specifically you, Mom. I keep imagining the comments you would make, back at your sewing machine, and the things that will make you laugh. (There's one part in the first one about Birds of Paradise that I know you will love!) But that is for a future date. For now, I love you all and hope your summers are going fantastic!!!

Thanks a million!

2008-07-11T19:36:00.002+03:00

To start, I would like to thank you all for your support and advice. Bad news first, I don't think any of the advice would work. I did a pretty effective job of screwing this up. It was my recovery software that erased all of this, and I think unless I committed a lot of time to a computer nerd (which I don't have), I might be able to get some things back. But I don't want to be parted with my mis-behaving baby, so I will move on. Also, the IT people here are super busy and not too friendly, so I would rather avoid that. Therefore, my loss will remain a permanent one. But your suggestions were fantastic. And if I were in the States, I would follow every last one of them.

The good news is that I can track down all pix except one folder. And I am sad for that folder, but they didn't have my most precious photos. That makes me feel a lot better. The itunes thing is not as easy. I just finally got it to download on my laptop, so now begins the slow process of accumulating music.

I would also like to publicly thank Juli for the completely unexpected, amazing, perfectly thought out, care package she sent me. While there was no official contest as to who loves me the most, there was a scorecard in my head going, and Juli officially wins. Not only is she the first to send me a package, she was the first to send me regular mail. Mom's letter from AZ came the next day, but "close" doesn't win games. I could go on and continue to force my competitiveness on the love you feel for me, but that seems petty.

Truly though, Juli, it was perfect. I will be riding on a natural high from it for a while. I love you so much. If only there were a need for endless sand and shredded paper in your life, I could return the favor. I'll figure something out.

Okay, off to battle itunes.

Ashes to ashes...and all that stuff.

2008-07-08T20:10:00.002+03:00

My memory is gone. Kaput. Never to be seen again. No, I have not been hit with flying shrapnel, and no, the stress has not dripped an acidic like hole into my hippocampus (some neurological psych nerdery for you all). My hard-drive is gone. I mean, it's still there. But the memories are not. No pictures, no music, no nothing. If today had been slower at work, I would be in a depression so deep only cookie dough and 8th season episodes of Seinfeld could bring me back. I won't get into the nitty-gritty details of it all. Lets just say I thought I could fix something myself. That should have stopped me dead in my tracks. Beckie, fix technology? Beckie, who can barely operate her Ipod and never figured out her 20 dollar phone? Laugh it up everyone, I had a moment of insanity spurred by the thought of being without my laptop in the shipping process with circuit city. It would have been forever and I can't live without this baby for that long. I'm paying the price now.

I had hordes of music on there, much of which I will never get back. I mean, I will, but it will cost more money and a lot of hunting down. I also had an enormous selection of Christmas music which was going to be my only link to the season come December. I definitely spent in the past 3 years, over 100 dollars at itunes. I hate this. Then the pictures. I fear that some of my pictures on there were the only hard copies left in the world. I will attempt to get them back, but that's going to require a lot of hope. Also, they were my link to everyone back in the states. I didn't need internet to look at my album of Noah pictures. Now it's gone.

So, I am still feeling pretty crappy about all of this. I'm angry at my computer for failing me, but scared to get too angry in case she tries something worse. I dread having to upload my music onto itunes, not that I have much. I only brought a few c.d.'s because, hey, I have it all on my computer! I'd laugh if I weren't so busy dry-heaving.

Therefore, everyone has even longer to wait for pictures that are definitely not worthy of this build-up. If you need an image to last you till then of Iraq, picture a sandbox surrounded in cement.

I'm going to wrap this up, as I have nothing positive to say right now. I mean, there are silver spots on this cloud.
I just choose not to see them right now. I'm in mourning.

4th of what???

2008-07-04T20:07:00.002+03:00

The 4th of July, in sense of time, means nothing here. We officially celebrated the 4th on the 3rd. Celebrate is a rather strong word here. I think I would be more apt to say "forced to not work more than 2 hours and entertain yourself" the 4th of July. I've been thinking and thinking, and still don't have a decent reason why the 3rd. That's government for you. So, in an abstract sense, I still hold Independence Day near to my heart. Oh, and the actual day too.

I am nearing the end of my fourth, which was filled with a lot of work and presentation making and such. Those are the good days, as they usually pass by more quickly. I spent my (mostly) day off watching the LOTR trilogy. Not very patriotic (unless you're a kiwi) but as I brought the movies over with the intent of viewing them again, I thought I would take full advantage of a 12 hour stretch of free time. I mean, if I were to try and fit them in with my work schedule, I would be splitting the individual movies up into parts. I just don't have a 4 hour chunk of time. Getting to the point, it was the perfect (almost) day off.

I'm going to try and add a picture to the end of this post. If it comes out, it is of a sign that is posted in numerous places around the laundry room. If it doesn't, two dollars to the person who can guess what it will say.

Enjoy your freedom to celebrate freedom everyone.

Quick answer session...

2008-06-29T19:35:00.002+03:00

Okay, I didn't realize how political I sounded in that last entry. I didn't mean to be. I hope no one has gotten the impression that I think we are wrong in being over here. I don't know what I think. But I love that it has gotten others thinking. How many times can I type think???

Long story short, I am still undecided on the whole issue. I've actually talked to a few native Iraqi's and their opinions are largely positive on the whole thing. Granted, I haven't talked to any of the insurgents or those fighting the troops, and I don't plan to. Therefore, my sample is skewed. Overall though, the sentiment I get over here is that Saddam needed to be taken down, they needed help doing it and WMD be danged. The differences of opinion comes from our continued occupation, and that's a matter I don't know how I feel about quite yet. But I love talking about it. Shocker, Beckie loves to debate current social issues. Man, if they made this into an episode of Law and Order (ripped from the headlines), I'd be even more excited.

Mom, I don't have access to a library, that I know of. This base is miles long, I can't even ballpark it. Lets just say it houses 15,000 people (soldiers and civilians) and we are not crammed in here. But I do get mail, so if you own 1000 Suns, feel free to send it. I've been wanting to read that.

Juli, anyone who wants to read this is more than welcome. I'll try to proofread better.

And if anyone knows how to post others blogs on the side of my blog, shoot me an email with simple instructions. I'll move on to pictures once I have that accomplished.

Today was a long day. I wanted to get out of there much sooner, but as it always happens when you expect something, things didn't go as planned. A bunch of projects came in that needed to be proofed and input and that is a slow, tedious day. Plus, I think my supervisor wasn't feeling good, so he was rather short with me. And the thing of it is, I still don't know enough, so I feel like I deserve it. I just wish I was more experienced.

I also watched Sabatour last night, one of Hitchcocks earlier works. It was so good. I feared that since I rarely hear about it, and it doesn't make "Best of Hitchcock" list, it might be a bit subpar. But it was delightful. I loved the female lead in it and the small character parts. There is a bearded lady and an end scene on the Statue of Liberty, just to entice you. I've only brought my Alfred Hitchcock collection (thanks again mom, dad and elise) and Lord of the Rings in terms of movies, so I'm afraid my entries about film will largely be centered on this. I am considering indulging in Planet Earth, the BBC documentary. If anyone's seen it, please feel free to give me your personal review.

Love you all...sorry this lacks the usual wit (I'm worn out)

Beckie

Abandoned by Saddam's old Stadiums...

2008-06-27T19:34:00.003+03:00

Okay, first off, I plan to start commenting on all of your blogs, as I love that you all have taken an interest in mine, and I need to reciprocate. It's a delight to come on here and see that the words I've typed are not merely practice, but hold some relevance as there are people out there who read them. Thanks, y'all.

Second, today I ventured out with my boss/supervisor/only person I work with regularly Dave to go to the post office. He was dropping me off while he went to the PX for supplies. He refuses to eat at the DFAC and gets basic groceries weekly at our large PX, which is like a small grocery/convenience store. It's what I imagine general stores were to developing towns out west in the 1800's. This gave me my first realized look at the landscape surrounding us. I caught glimpses on my way from the airfield my second day, but I was in such a misery-haze, nothing really registered. What's out there you ask? A whole lotta nothing. I mean, we stayed on base (which is huge), so I wasn't expecting a middle-eastern market or a mosque, but maybe some vegetation or hills. Nope, just flat, barren brownness. What's sad is that I'm pretty sure this was a lively area before the days of the Iran/Iraq war. But most of it got destroyed in that struggle, and abandoned until U.S. occupation. We took one look around and said, "yep, it's depressing and barren enough for us to build the second largest military base in Iraq."

Continuing on, the drive was fascinating, if not aesthetically pleasing. Dave went to drop me off at what he thought was the post office. I went up and it looked awfully sketchy. I managed to stall him while i took another look around. While he waited, I went into this building that had clearly been abandoned and ransacked. By whom, I'll never know. It was eerie walking through the halls, looking for a sign of a post office. In hindsight, clearly nothing of value was in here and I was wasting my time, but I like to exhaust all my options before dismissing them, so I followed the hallway down. There were discarded mattresses in all the rooms, a lot of broken glass, broken wooden furniture. It reminded me of a dorm. It made me think of that place in the movie "Children of Men" where Clive Owen helps the last pregnant woman on Earth give birth, but without the people. Very desolate. I went back out and told Dave he was completely wrong, and we managed to find the real post office.

Once there, I got my work done rather quickly and went outside to wait for Dave. I was literally 100 yards away from one of Saddam Hussein's old stadiums where they originally had sporting events, then soldier marches, and finally, mass Iraqi-civilian deaths. It was pretty destroyed from the war, but enough of a structure remained to get an impression. When I go back, I will take a picture so you can see it. It's just so fascinating and humbling to be amongst all this history, (mostly tragic), but not really understand what you are surrounded by because its been turned into an American army base. I feel like we are missing out. I mean, they don't even name the streets anything remotely related to Iraq. They are all military based names. It just makes you wonder how hard we are trying as Americans, to understand the true nature and plight of the Iraqi people. It's like all these military bases are Little America in Iraq. For some, that's a comfort, but for me it would be nice to see a blending of cultures while we are staying in their country.

On another note, each time I see a truck drive by with the medical cross on it, I start whistling the theme to M.A.S.H. I really think they should air re-runs of that on their Army Television Network. It just makes sense.

Confuse in Tikrit.

2008-06-25T19:36:00.002+03:00

Hmmm, I thought I just uploaded a picture, but I'm not sure it worked. Technology is confusing. I'll try on the next post. Until then, this is going to be a dull, text-heavy blog.

There is this guy who works in one of the trailers, who wears your standard uniform of sturdy pants, a shirt and boots. However, he wears a long-sleeved mock turtleneck type top, and then, wears a fleece sleeveless thing over that. You know how those "trendy" outdoorsy types do on their weekends, it's kinda like that. The reason why I point this out is because it is 130 degrees over here. It's like he is so attached to his image, no amount of heat advisories will stop him. He probably wears that fleece thing in the pool.

Sadly, the picture I tried to upload was not of him. I think he might get suspicious if I try to take his picture without even knowing his name. I only know half the names here. Everyone knows mine. Everyone is also super nice. I seriously cannot recall a group of people being so genuinely kind in my life. I mean, I'm not making life-long best friends here, and I don't imagine I will. But the basic friendliness I get really makes things easier. That, and the fact that they haven't blocked gmail from my computer. When that day comes, it's gonna be ugly. (I don't think that day is coming, I'm merely speculating for dramatic effect).

One thing that is surprisingly frustrating is the way I have to word emails. Because everyone I work with is government, I have to be careful in my rhetoric. That's fine, I know how to be polite and clear. But even that's not good enough. I mean, there are certain commanders who take issue with my saying, "communicates with district staff." They would rather hear "collaborates with district staff." Tomato, tomahto. There's a war going on and that's what you nitpick about??? So, I fear this is going to drive me slowly up the wall and at the end of this year, I'll either be a pod person like them, or an anarchist. Just a heads up to those I love...

Until later...

I jumped on the bandwagon and bumped my knee...

2008-06-22T19:41:00.001+03:00

Hello family. I know this has taken a long time to create. I'm counting since I got to Iraq, but you may be counting longer. Let's agree to disagree. This is largely created because of peer pressure. No, I'm kidding. I felt it was time because I am going through a unique experience, and while we are keeping in touch in other ways, this felt appropriate since it seems the place I can catch up on all of your lives. For instance, I only know how Sarah's summer is going because of her entries. I also know that Elise, Kirsti, and Emily have been on vacation because I have yet to see a recent entry from them. Although Emily is leagues better at posting. So, it further lets me know that Elise doesn't have her own computer and Kirsti spends her time looking at Federer fansites.

So, this way you guys will know pretty instantly when I'm having a bad day, or good day, or want to vent about how the small healthy options section at the DFAC never, ever changes their entree choices. Seriously, I like the baked chicken now, but it is going to get old. And I'm scared of their alternate, the baked fish. No fish should be shaped like that.

I hope to get some pix on here by next week. My computer is being frustrating and I think my free security stuff isn't doing it's job, so I may have to shell out some dough for official protection.

Anywho, I hope I didn't join too late and you all can work me into the familial community. Plus, by creating this, I now can comment on your blogs!!! Be prepared for some heavy judgement and passive-aggressive remarks. It's what I do.

Love you all,
Beckie