Blog Survey I've been wanting to do.

A. Attached or Single? Single and lovin' every minute of it. I'm saving myself for Hugh Jackman.

B. Best Friend? Well, I have a number of bessie's, but my best friend, the one who puts up with so much of my crap I can't believe we are still friends, Kyle.

C. Cake or Pie? Cake, easily. Especially of the cupcake, german chocolate, or ice cream variety. I like pot pie, does that count?

D. Day of choice? Thursday's. This favoritism comes from when I was still in school, and Thursdays were when you began eagerly anticipating the weekend as you hadn't wasted it yet, plus, ER was on Thursdays and I used to love that show. No phone calls were allowed while I watched it. Now Lost is my no phone-call show.

E. Essential Item? Laptop. I couldn't survive Iraq without it. It's my lifeline.

F. Favorite Color? Navy blue, b/c I look good in navy and I love nautical everything. I was a sailor in another life.

G. Gummy Bears or Worms? Bears. I can't eat the worms b/c it grosses me out. I think of that book that was popular when I was a kid "How to Eat Fried Worms" and I get queasy.

H. Hometown? Columbia. I loved living away from it because driving home to it was great. Especially when Elise and I would drive home from Maryville for the holidays. We would put on Christmas songs and just simmer in our excitement.

I. Indulgence? Amazon.com. I love it. I've gotten way too many books considering this is a temporary residence. I go on there every day to drool over more books. I have a stack waiting in my "to be bought later" section, and add at least another one every day.

J. January or July? January. I like the bleakness of it. I hate driving in winter, but if I could take that part out, I would be a winter convert. Even horrible February. Sometimes a good month of festering in misery is a nice change of pace, and it makes spring all the better.
K. Kids? I plan to have dogs. I'll let you know about the kids thing later. (My 3 dream dogs)...

L. Life is not complete without? Laughter. What a dull existence life would be without a belly laugh to get you through.

M. Marriage Date?Kyle was my date to the last marriage I went to. But where was he during the conga line dance? Eh? I made do. (Us at the wedding reception)

N. Number of Brothers and Sisters? More than can fit in a breadbox.

O. Oranges or Apples? Neither in the form of juice. Grape.

P. Phobias? Open heights and house fires. Get the heebee-jeebies just thinking about them.

Q. Quotes? "We have nothing to fear, but another Great Depression." -Stephen Colbert misquoting FDR.R. Reasons to smile? Vacations, Scrubs, family, friends, cupcakes, sloppy joes, Gap camisoles, books, packages while living Iraq, sleeping in, air conditioning, cool breezes, movie theatres, new socks, daffodils, baby animals, driving with the windows down while singing along with Bon Jovi, Tina Turner, or the Dixie Chicks.

S. Season of Choice? Spring or Autumn. I love the one I'm with.

T. Tag some peeps! Lame...whoever came up with this survey couldn't come up with a T category.

U. Unknown Fact about Me? I've never won a game of Trivial Pursuit, but that will never stop me from playing it or forcing others to play it with me. One day, TP, one day. Oh, and I dream of being best friends with either Kathy Griffin.

V. Vegetable? Hmmm, I really like spinach. Both raw and cooked.

W. Worst Habits? Chewing my fingers, talking too loud, eating mindlessly while watching anything, grocery shopping when hungry (suddenly a 15$ trip becomes a 75$ trip),

X. X-Ray or Ultrasound? Um, ultrasound would mean I'm either preggers or have a tumor...so clearly X-Ray.

Y. Your favorite food? Sloppy Joes (Lambson recipe only), chocolate, bbq chicken pizza, bread of all kinds (well, except raisen bread), potatoes of all kind, pizza rolls, mexican (but no pico de gallo), eggplant parmesan, burgers, grinders chicken salad, peanut m&m's.Z. Zodiac Sign? Aries. I'm as stubborn as a ram, so it makes a lot of sense. Though I don't believe most of this zodiac mumbo jumbo, I still love to read it.

Melancholy in November

Hi everyone. First off, thanks to everyone who made me feel confident in my hasty glasses decision. So far, I'm loving them. I only wear them at work, as I find them hard to get used to in my normal life. I'll see something in my glasses-free peripheral and it will throw me off. Luckily, I only really need them for work. I'm sure if I weren't in Iraq and driving at night, they would be a great asset, but as I drive like once a month, and it's just a quick stop to the post office or big PX, I don't need 'em.

Also, special thank you to Mom and Dad who have made my holidays go so much easier. Due to the lack of volunteers and their amazing generosity, I now have someone I can count on to receive holiday packages and make sure they get to the right person. I haven't decided what, but you two are getting something extra special for Christmas. Truly, you have taken a load off my shoulders.

So, on to the melancholy part. I'm actually doing really well. The weather is just about perfect, a constantly sunny fall with cool breezes. I love it. Work is about the same, learning some new things, finding new morons to complain about, and enjoying Dave's ornery stories about when he was an iron worker. He's got some great ones. He truly has lived a thousand lives and how he is still alive amazes me. I'm just in my usual funk that I get in after reading the Harry Potter series. I planned to reread it to help me get over my let-down feeling from October being over. Well, it worked too well. I'm still amazed at how well these books ensnare me, though I know everything that is going to happen. I even took yesterday afternoon off (3 hours really) to finish the Deathly Hallows because once you start from "A Final Hiding Place", you can't stop. It was magnificent, not that I expected anything different. But I am filled with the overwhelming depression that comes when you know few things will ever meet up to that experience. Much like seeing "Return of the King" or watching the series finale of Gilmore Girls, you are so happy to have been along for the ride, but so sad to say goodbye. I know it's the mark of a good artist when you can feel so deeply for a fictional character, and boy, do they make me feel.

I have a stack of books that I have been so excited to read, and held off until finishing Harry Potter. Now they seem dull and hold no interest for me. I know this will pass, it always does, but for the next few days, I'm going sulk in the absence of Harry, and just hope that one day, another artist will come close to creating the happiness these books bring me. In the meantime, I plan to take my overly high expectations out on a Stephen King novel. He can handle it and I would hate to think I didn't give a more worthy novel a chance. I'm thinking either Watership Down or Pride and Prejudice after Stephen King. Or maybe something non-fiction, like The Nine. Any suggestions???

Glasses!!! I can't see anymore!!!

As some of you may know, one of my biggest priorities for my trip in October was visiting the eye doctor. I had become something of a joke in my office with the way I squint at the computer. My strained vision (mainly affected reading) wasn't a big deal until I came to Iraq and spent 11 hours a day staring at small print on a computer. So I was filled with anticipation over the idea that I could reduce my crows feet by not squinting for half of my day. However, things never go according to plan, and instead of having plenty of time to visit a reputable doctor and have even more time to select the perfect pair, I found myself at Wal-Mart, only a few days before I was about to leave, and without anyone to give me solid advice on the frames. Plus, I was on pain meds and muscle relaxants for another bout with my back, so my decision making skills were rushed and impaired. When I described the glasses to Kathy as black, chunky with rhinestones, I was not surprised when she died laughing and insisted on being the first to view these glasses. And frankly, I was doubting myself and worrying I had picked the ugliest pair just because the Wal-Mart lady kinda liked them.

Well, Mom has shipped them to me, and while I like them, I'll leave it to the jury. Feel free to leave no comment if they don't move you in any way, but otherwise, I encourage both negative and positive feedback. If you are worried I will go crashing into a pit of despair in case you think they are unflattering, remember, I'm in the desert and instantly 2 degrees hotter (both literally and figuratively) b/c of it, so I'll be fine.



Incidentally, I've learned I have a crooked smile, and that I photograph better from the left. For future reference, Emily.

Quirky Me!!! Idiot Style...

Okay, so this is the first survey I've done for my blog, even though I'm sure I've been tagged numerous times before. I wish I could do more, b/c survey's are my favorite thing in the world, but what with a lack of time to spend on here, I have to make my blogging decisions carefully; the computer version of Sophie's Choice.

So Tamara, I'm not going to follow the rules exactly b/c I don't know how to provide a link to you blog, but since only family reads this, I think that's okay...they should know how to get there by now. Also, I'm not going to tag anyone b/c I literally think I only follow 6 people on their blogs and vice versa, so that seems a smidge pointless. Regardless, I have to list and detail 6 quirks of mine, so here goes:

1. Debating: I LOVE to debate. I mean, there is nothing that gets my blood pumping faster than the heat of a good discussion. I used to debate in high school and then again in college, and I tell you, I miss it. Knowing your argument is superior and being able to TALK someone into submission is a glorious feeling. On a more personal level, I love to debate with friends and family. However, I do NOT like it when people try to make someone else feel stupid, or refuse to follow basic rules of logic, or don't have opinions on even the most important of issues. I have an opinion on everything and am fully prepared to back each one up. So it kills me when someone I respect and love, doesn't have an opinion on the state of the environment, or on the education system, or on whether or not American Idol can continue their complete dominance. A perfect debate will end in an equal exchange of ideas, with no derogatory attitudes or statements, and where each member leaves the conversation more educated, with a new way to look at things, and respecting the others view. Meaning, if we are engaged in a debate over what is the greatest Disney movie of all time, I don't have to convince you it's Beauty and the Beast, and you don't have to convince me it's The Lion King. But if we leave the debate wiser and with a new found appreciation for each, then that's just bliss.

2: I hate bugs. I hate them so much I refuse to include a picture with them. I don't know when I turned into such a sissy, but I hate them. I STILL cannot watch that scene from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. You all know what I'm talking about. I understand the necessity of them, but man, they are gross. I've reached a point where I am seriously contemplating living in a cement house with only a mat on the floor so no bugs can get in and hide places. If you can think of a way they can penetrate my concrete fortress, please don't tell me.

3: Photo time is not often happy time for me. People seem to want to take pictures right when I'm in a bad mood, or maybe it's that I'm in a bad mood whenever people take pictures. The exception has become Emily, weirdly enough. I think it's because she will let me put my foot down on pictures I hate myself in and I love her for that. But if you will look back in our family albums, I'm often shown very grumpy, possibly with red eyes from throwing a childish fit.

4: I chew my fingers when I get anxious. Disgusting, I know, but it doesn't help that I spend large amounts of my time with fellow finger chewers. Many members of my family, and the most egregious of them all, Kyle. We enable each other, and then abuse each other for that same behavior. I'm thinking of putting myself into a coma for 3 weeks to possibly break myself of this habit. I can't be a finger chewer when I'm 30, can I?

5: I HAVE to watch/read things in order. Read Harry Potter book 6 without having just read the first 5? Heck no!! I get weeded just thinking about it. I can't watch a trilogy out of order, I can't watch the third season of The Office just because that's the only season someone has, I have to start at the beginning and work my way up. The ONLY exception is if the show/books/movies are set up to where history doesn't matter. For instance, The Simpsons, Law and Order, Agatha Christie novels. I know, I know, there are smidges of history, like Maude dying and such, but otherwise, watching those out of order does not effect the experience. However, I cannot just sit down to Return of the King and watch it. I have to build to that climax. And I think TRUE fans would agree with me. (yeah, I'm talking to all of you who have read Harry Potter books out of order. Heavy judgment coming from me here).

6: If there is EVER a Top Model marathon going on, I'm watching it. I've seen all the cycles (yes, Tyra is pretentious enough to call them cycles, not seasons), but that doesn't matter. If I don't have to be anywhere, and sometimes, even if I do, I put it on, cook to it, sleep to it, eat to it. I love me some Top Model and VH1 and MTV have NO problem supplying me with enough to feed the purple dragon.




So I don't know if those were actually quirks, but if Alanis can sing a song about irony and use examples that aren't ironic, I can claim these 6 factoids about myself are quirky.

Suicide Watch Over.

Okay, I'm back in Tikrit. Crazy depressed Beckie has disappeared (not forever b/c I will have to return to Kuwait for all future exits from Iraq) and I'm getting back into the swing of things. One thing that is not working out for me is getting my sleep routine back to normal. I'm a pretty cocky sleeper, b/c I can sleep almost anywhere, at any time, and for nice long stretches uninfluenced by things like noise, movement, etc. The only condition I usually have a hard time sleeping in is the heat. I mean, I'm the girl who has no problem falling asleep on a flight for 12 hours and sleeping every moment except free meal time. But this jet lag is kicking my rear. I'm currently writing this at 4 a.m. my time after waking at 1:30 a.m., not able to go back to sleep. I attempted for an hour, knowing my body was exhausted, but to no avail. So I turned on the t.v. to discover a classic Lost episode from season 2 where Sayid takes Ben in (though at this time he's going by Henry Gale). Remember when we all thought Sayid might be wrong and Ben was just a harmless victim of the island? Crazy times.

Anyways, now that I'm back, I'm in a much better state of mind. I've already gotten my packages I sent to myself a week ago (great timing), so things are humming along nicely. Turns out my job is still boring, in case anyone was wondering. I'm running low on movies to watch, so I got another Hitchcock selection on Amazon. The people making these collections must have talked before b/c this one includes 8 movies not in the collection I already have. Perfect! It has Strangers on a Train, which I'm most excited about. I love that one. However, I only watch those movies on Saturdays, so I think I'm going to have to delve into the small collection my office has of semi-crappy movies. One's I will only watch if I have to exert no effort to get the movie in my hands. I'll keep you posted. Maybe one will surprise me.

Just to reiterate, it was great to see everyone. Thank you for doing Thanksgiving early for me. My biggest disappointment is that no games were played in that glorious weekend, but I figure if that's my biggest disappointment, I can count myself pretty lucky. We did play domino's my first night back, and that was pretty cool. But this just means the next time any of you see me, I will be merciless in making you play any and all games with me.

Thanks for your prayers for me. Love you all...

Living it down in Kuwait

Hi all. So I just realized that I didn't blog at all while visiting all of you in the states. Not that I had anything interesting to say, but you think I could have made something up. Actually, I didn't do a lot of things I planned to do. I guess I got caught up in the socializing part of it. I hardly interneted, I didn't grocery shop and ship myself back some healthy things, I didn't see as many movies as I wanted, and I definitely did not get to sleep as late as I planned.

Well, here is my chance to make up for some of that. Sleep. I am stuck in Kuwait, and I find that all I want to do is sleep; except when I need to. For instance, I needed to be somewhere at 6:30 a.m. this morning for accountability (basically, sit in a room till they call out your name, proving you are here and they can now start worrying about getting you on a flight), but i couldn't fall asleep until 5 a.m. So that led to me sleeping from 8 a.m. this morning until 4 p.m. I guess I'm still on American time. Very frustrating.

Also, being here in Kuwait is not quite the adventure it was the first time. There is no anticipation of going home, no break from 4 months of straight work, nothing like that. The rose-colored glasses are off, and I am super depressed. I need to get back to Tikrit and back in my routine b/c I know I would feel so much better, but until then, I walk around this camp like a zombie, just dreading every minute I have to be here. My only escape is all the sleeping I do, and episodes of 30 Rock on my laptop. I've already plowed through the first season and if I am still here all day tomorrow, I will be done with season 2. What will I do then????? I wish I could write with some more humor and optimism, but my spirits are low, and will stay that way until I am home (my temporary home in Tikrit). It didn't help that I had a miserable experience at the airport. Basically, I was told a person from the USACE group would be waiting for me when I got off, but they weren't. This could be because our flight got in 30 minutes early, but I waited at the gate for a while, then tried to be proactive and go to baggage claim, thinking they may be there. I got stopped before that saying I needed to get a visa. What??? No one told me about this, so I went back upstairs, wandered around a bit, realized I needed to call someone but had no phone numbers. So I went into a bathroom stall, had a 5 minute panic attack, and went back out.

I knew I had the phone number for Dave on my laptop, and knew he could help, so then I began the airport wide search for an outlet. I literally walked the whole upper floor before finding the one random area where they have outlets, and thanks be to heaven, had my adaptor in my laptop case. Further thanks, the airport had an unsecured wireless line I could use. So, knowing Dave prefers email, I emailed him with my quandry, and it only took 5 minutes to get a response. According to him, yes I need a visa, and no, no one waits for us...we have to go outside, look for the american's standing in a line, and get on the bus headed for Ali Al Saleem (Tent City). So fine, I calm myself down a bit, and go to the visa area, where I have to wait almost 2 hours to get my visa. Get my visa, head downstairs to get out (yeah, you have to go downstairs first to get out upstairs), encounter no trouble, and head outside. No American's. Just a large ant farm of various middle-easterners running about. I am so lost at this point. I finally spot a couple of American's (they have the military backpacks, that's how I know) and hang out around them. They look like they are waiting for something, so naturally I assume it's the same thing I'm waiting for. I sit outside for about an hour and a half, not asking, just assuming. To be fair, these guys were not friendly looking, and you know how I hate looking stupid or helpless. But when one by one, they start going back into the airport, not on a bus, I am forced to ask someone if they are trying to get to Ali Al Saleem. Of course they are not. They just wanted to smoke until their flight was boarding. Luckily, a random American had come to that area to smoke and was like, "you need to talk to a girl in a blue-striped polo at the starbucks downstairs. I had to the last time I came back from R&R." Clearly, there is some random procedure for this that they don't deem important enough to tell me about. I go back downstairs, no girl in a striped blue polo is there. So I ask a couple of older guys who looked like contractors about it and they directed me to two girls who were checking people in (no polo's in site). I got checked in and found out there is a shuttle leaving at 10:10 p.m.. Mind you, I've been at this airport since 4:30 p.m. I am so done with the airport, but also grateful to have a plan. All goes well with this, and when I get to tent city, I begin the process of getting checked in. Only to find out by the USACE girl, she WAS there, waiting for me, and I never showed. WHAT???? Yes, I showed, she never showed. Or no one was clear as to where I should have been. I mean, I'm getting all the blame in this. And because I got to Tent City so late, I have to wait another day to get my flight clearance. If I had gotten there by 8 p.m. like planned, I would have gotten clearance the next morning. This is at midnight I'm finding this out.

To ice the poison cake of my crappy day, I get to my tent, all the bottom bunks are taken, and I have to sleep on the top bunk. Crap. I slept 13 hours straight, and woke up wishing I were anywhere but there. Not to continue being a debbie downer, but I am truly downplaying all of my overwhelming feelings of being lost, confused, tired, scared, angry, all of it. I didn't think I could have a worse travel experience than my initial one here, but I did. Oh, and I didn't even go into the leering I recieved from 1 out of 10 middle eastern guys. I mean, blatent leering.

So, hopefully my next post will find me in better spirits. But I think the only way that could happen is if I am in Tikrit. I truly am dreading my next R&R if my travels are even half of what I experienced this time. I may end up stuck in Iraq for the rest of the year just to avoid the absolute misery. Not really, but I shudder to think of what new things will be thrown at me the next time around.

Kuwait, both everything and nothing I expected.

Hi family. I'm sitting here, in Kuwait, like a tool b/c I brought my laptop to an internet cafe, not realizing they provide the computers, and relieved to have that big chunk of the journey over with. And oh what a journey it was.

So, this past week has been filled with a contained excitement, and in hopes of pushing the anticipation to it's breaking point, I decided to wait until the end of the week to do all the things I needed to in order to prepare for the trip. I don't know why I do this. It's the same at Christmas time, when I push the bulk of my shopping off until 3 days before Christmas, and lately, Christmas Eve. I have a sick problem. I had turned in my AMR papers a week before (Air Movement Request) and asked to leave as soon as Saturday. So, I'm foolishly thinking I can push things off (packing, finish work, clean out email, get important documents together), and go about my week with coming home at the back of my mind at all times. I did get a few things done ahead of time, like give Dave a calendar of all the projects I do through the week so he knows when he needs to do them, and I shipped a box home of dvd's borrowed from you lovely family members, and books I've read and need to move so I can acquire more books. But that's about it. And I had S-Tina/Florentine telling me to pack early b/c I might be asked to leave earlier in case bad weather was predicted or something. And I laughed, and agreed with her, all the while knowing I would do nothing. (I know this is a lot of preface, but meh, I don't have much to do here but bore you all with the details).

Well, Friday morning rolls around. I oversleep a little bit b/c I went to the gym the night before and that had me revved when I should have been trying to go to sleep. I go in, send a couple of emails, and get a phone call from our Operations guy asking me to see him when he gets a moment. Still thinking everything is cool, b/c we are usually told what time our flight is leaving the day before. Well, I go down, and he informs me that Saturday and Sunday are Red Days...basically, no one but super important people or emergencies are going to get out over those next two days. As a contractor going on R&R, I am at the bottom of the totem pole. So he recommends I go down to the ADAC (airfield) and put my name on the standby list so I can possibly get out today. WHAT????? is what I'm thinking in my head, while telling him that sounds like great advice. I clearly don't want to push it until after the weekend because if weather becomes an issue, then I would potentially miss my chance to get to Kuwait in time for my flight.

Okay, this story is already getting way to long. I'll sum up with the highlights, and details will come when I get to talk to you all face to face. Basically, I go and find out that I need to be back at the ADAC in 2 hours to see if I can get on (you are supposed to be there 4 hours before the flight to see if you are on the manifest). I get back, do the fastest packing job ever, go to work and do as much as I can (send in my vacay timecards, clean out my email), and rush to the ADAC, only to sit for 7 straight hours, weasel my way onto a flight, sit for 5 more hours, and finally fly to Kuwait. Events during this trip include waiting on the actual airfield for our plane to land, only to board it 5 minutes later, nearly throwing up on the flight over (no joke, I had cold sweats and everything, and was convinced the trip would end in me barfing in my helmet), get to Kuwait and become incredibly confused over Kuwaiti Dinar (their currency...I had to withdraw some Dinar to pay for my visa, thought they said thirty, when in fact they said three, withdraw 40 to cover my bases, only to discover I withdrew approximately 200 dollars worth of dinar), get to my tent which is filled with 6 bunkbeds and a light that never shuts off, get lost the next morning and have to go back to billeting to discover where I sleep, and spend my day reading and getting more familiar with the surroundings.

Needless to say, it's been a very eventful 36 hours. Now I am at the internet cafe, with only 22 more minutes on my session, tired and dreading the return to the tent, and wondering how I am going to fill the next 4 days. But, like I said, this is one huge chunk of my journey done. Soon I will be in the Kuwaiti airport, weeded out of my mind trying to figure out my ticket, find my gate, and entertain myself for 4 hours. Good times in the Middle East.