Saturday night is alright...for watching reruns of Project Runway

I can't believe it has been over a month since I posted. And I really don't have a good excuse. Don't get me wrong; hold a gun to my head and I'll come up with a few, but none that will hold up without that gun there. I guess I just haven't felt motivated/like I had anything to write about that didn't develop into a 10 paragraph post about what stresses me out. But no excuse. So, even though I still don't have that normal burning desire to verbally vomit all over the internet, I'm making myself break this bad pattern of not writing. To do so, I'm doing my favorite kind of post, the random one where it's more free flow than coherent.

-Whenever I hear Coldplays "Viva La Vida", I just get excited. For what, I don't know. I think it is just one of those songs that just pumps me up for listening to it, living life, all sorts of things. I already love Coldplay (though not as much as Kirsti), but I think this may be my favorite song by them. There, I said it. It may beat out "Politik". Other songs that either still, or at one point gave me that inexplicable feeling of just anticipation, joy and excitement:
*Bon Jovi "It's My Life" and "Saturday Night"
*Feist "Inside and Out"
*Regina Spektor "Better" and currently "Eet"
*My Chemical Romance "The Black Parade"
*Faith Hill "This Kiss"
*Keane "Somewhere Only We Know"
*Kings of Leon "Use Somebody"
*Kelly Clarkson "Since U Been Gone"
I could go on a bit more, but that gets boring. These are what came to mind almost instantly, and they aren't to be confused with favorite songs of all time, though many of them are on the list. The song has to be something that just makes you want to crank up the volume and hit repeat.

-It is remarkable how easily it is to get back to normal. Iraq seems a very, very distant memory and almost completely unreal. Like I had a year-long out-of-body experience. What is very vivid are those times I went on R&R. You know that perfect Christmas you idealize and live every year hoping to match up to that perfect combination of happiness and contentment? That's what these vacations were like. EVEN with the sickness that inevitably came with it. Or the stress of getting out of Iraq. Or the extreme sadness when they were over. Or the slight cringing over the money spent. They were all perfect. I remember last October just giddy with happiness...getting to hang out with all my friends, seeing all my family, eating amazing food, and just living every day like it was my last (and in a way, it was...returning to Iraq loomed closer and closer). I was deep in the dumps on my return. And then getting to go to Europe not once, but twice! Who gets to say that? And to have two very different trips that were both equally perfect. I am going to NYC with friends later this year, and though I am filled with anticipation, it will probably not match up to that perfect feeling I had on the last few trips. But I think in order to have that again, I will have to move back to Iraq, and that sure as heck isn't happening.

-My apartment is still a bit of a wreck. I can't believe how little I started off with and how much more I need to get, yet that itself is a problem, as I have too much crap. And now I'm saying I need more crap to manage the crap. But I do. I still need an entertainment center, a futon, another bookshelf, end tables, another dresser, and a nightstand. And that doesn't even take care of the problem of my shoes!!! I have too many, but getting rid of one pair would be like getting rid of a child. Same with purses. I wish Kirsti were here b/c I would let her pick two purses and no matter what, I would have to let her keep them. Even if it is my all time favorite purse. That way, I'm purging while letting someone else enjoy them (and I can potentially re-borrow it). I might make a condition that one of them has to be a clutch, b/c that is my latest obsession. I probably own over 10 clutches. I just think they are perfect. So perfect.

-Having Max as my starter dog has been great. He isn't too demanding in terms of my time, just wants me around as much as possible. It has been two weeks and not one accident. I'm blaming Sadie for his bad behavior; she enable him. And when we do go outside, he just immediately goes, no waiting on my part. And he is so darn cute.

-I'm really excited for fall to start...I have tons of scarves and sweaters I want to wear with my fantastic boots. And I can't wear any of these till the weather cools off.

-I'm also excited for fall television...I think Flash Forward is going to be really good. I saw a preview for it and it gave me chills. And finally saw the pilot of Glee, so I'm positively brimming with excitement over the new episode this Wednesday. Can't wait to here what songs they convert next. I hear they are doing a Heart song sometime...will be buying that one on itunes.

-Speaking of Heart, went to their concert at the State Fair a few weeks ago. It was like a white trash convention. Despite that, it was an amazing concert. Those ladies can still wail.

-Guilty confession...I haven't yet vacuumed. I need to--there is still leftover pieces of Styrofoam from when mom and I put my bed together, but I haven't even lugged my vacuum out of the trunk of my car. I HATE cleaning floors of any kind. I would clean 20 toilets before cleaning a floor. I have no problem keeping up with my dishes or counter tops or laundry, but vacuum? I can't do it.

-I like how all these networks have money-saving shows on how to shop smart, cook smart, etc. Our parents have been doing it for years, and yet these people act like it is brand new information that it is cheaper to cook at home rather than go out to eat.


Okay, I think that is enough for now...I think now that I've re-broken that gravy-like skin of writing, it won't be so long till I post again.

Back in the saddle again

Oh, how I have missed this unobstructed internet. It has been a long couple of months without my laptop, and I've felt every minute of it. As all of you know, my precious baby, my laptop, decided to go crazy and not work whilst in Greece. I think my life was too perfect at that moment, and there had to be opposition in that, so hence the laptop not working. No biggie, I thought. I have an I-Touch and it can pick of wireless, so though it would be tedious to type a whole blog entry on a phone sized gadget, it would still be internet. Well, our wireless in Iraq is so wonky it didn't work. So I was left with work internet, which blocks twitter, blogging, and I'm sure other stuff (but I really only care about twitter and blogging, so I wouldn't know). I found a way around the twitter obstacle (thank you, AOL), and every now and then I could do a random enough search on google that I could view your blogs, but not very well. For instance, pictures on Em's blog NEVER upload on my work computer, so I was clearly missing a big chunk of meat in that pie. Yeah, i like meat-pies; deal. And I definitely couldn't blog myself, and I have a lot of things to say. All the time.

SO, without further ado, I will do my favorite blog activity and that is to list free thoughts of mine:

-Reason I have unobstructed internet is because I'm in KUWAIT!!! Hello, tent city. Nice to see ya. Love paying 5$ an hour for internet (actually, I really don't mind b/c I've missed it so much and the air conditioning is good in here).

-You all are lucky I didn't have the ability to blog b/c for the past three weeks it would have been a rotation on 1) I hate my job and I hate training, 2) I can't WAIT to come home and eat some Jack in the Box, and 3) Why are all middle-aged people so darned annoying and dull?

-The flight from Iraq to Kuwait was AMAZING. From previous posts, you all can deduce that flying out of Iraq via their military planes is horrific and I would rather suffer through the Spanish Inquisition than get on that plane willingly. So when I went to the ADAC last night, I was fully prepared to be so miserable, I would be sobbing later into my pillow (that is only a slight exaggeration). BUT, for some reason, I lucked out and the flight that was leaving was nicknamed a Moose, which stands for a bigger, awesomer plane. Seriously, ya'll, soooooo much different than the craptastic C130's I was stuck on. This one was like if you married a military plane and a commercial plane and they had a baby. I love their baby. It was well air-conditioned, comfy seating, no overwhelming smells of jet-fuel, and incredibly smooth. I slept through most of it, happier than a clam. Didn't get settled into Kuwait until 3:30 a.m., but so worth it. My spirits are high and my coming home soon doesn't even play into it right now.

-I weirdly felt a bit sad to be leaving last night. I spent most my afternoon convinced it was a fool's errand to try and work my way onto this flight, so I skulked out of there not making an effort to say goodbye to a few people. To be fair, I HATE goodbyes more than almost anything. I will do a lot of things to avoid them. I just didn't think I would succeed so well. I wouldn't go back and change things, I'm just a bit sad. I'll write them a note I think. Who doesn't like mail? Really, though he got on my last nerve for the past 4 months, I will miss Dave. And though Jackie, my replacement, found nerves to annoy that Dave managed to miss, I will miss her too b/c she is very supportive. And I will miss seeing the fireworks when Dave and Jackie butt heads for the first time, which I anticipate will be in the first hour. It's going to be crazy.

-I do NOT feel the least bit sad about leaving the work. It was getting ridiculous and even more bureaucratic than normal. And chaotic. And still boring.

-I used to hate Combo's, but then tried the salsa/tortilla combo and it is fantastic. Addictive even.

-I have so much to do when I return, but in my opinion, most of it is fun stuff. I need furniture, a new bed, all sorts of things that I threw away when I packed up my stuff last year b/c I didn't want to deal with it. In hindsight, my laziness will very likely cost me some money.

-Was contemplating going into Kuwait City and staying there for a couple of days before my flight leaves, but since I just left my steady income, I don't know if I want to drop money on the hotel.

-Been watching Simpsons episodes. Classic. I missed this show and didn't even realize it.

-Have I mentioned how insanely excited I am to come home? Seriously, so excited. I may tackle Elise at the airport in my joy. Though I will have been traveling for hours and hours, so Elise, if i don't tackle you physically, know that I am doing it in my head.

My hour is just about up, so I'll leave you here while I brave the Kuwait heat. I almost miss humidity when I'm out there. Almost, but not quite.

WOOOOO!!! INTERNET FOREVER!!!

(oh, and spellcheck isn't working, so don't hate on my bad spelling abilities)

Cry Me A River Part Two

I'm so happy to have gotten the response on the last post I did...I was hoping to, if only to get some books to add to my reading list. First, some responses to the comments left on the post:

-Genny, so funny you mentioned "Anne of Green Gables", b/c folks commenting on the EW web post mentioned that one a bunch. It was up there with "The Lovely Bones", Harry Potter, and a few others as books that made many, many people cry. And now I'm going to have to look for "Tiger Eyes" to read. I love Judy Blume, so I have no doubt I will enjoy this book, and probably have a crying jag after I finish. Oh, and "She's Come Undone" is on my reading list. I've read "I Know This Much Is True" by the same author, though I don't remember crying. I might have. Good book, and I also plan to read his latest, "The Hour I First Believed."

-Steven, really? Not at ALL at Harry Potter? Not even when Dumbledore died? Wow, you might be dead inside. Or just need to really find a book that opens up the tearducts for that particular medium.

-Juli, I have "The Devils Arthmetic" on my list of books that made me cry, but I had to make some cuts, and since "Jacob Have I Loved" stands out the most, it won. Yeah, that one is fantastic and had me crying.

-Elise, I was sooo going to mention Stan's death on The Commish as a t.v. example, but you stole my thunder. Ah, memories.

-Em, "East of Eden" was also some cartharsis for me. I need to read it again. So satisfying on so many levels. And you know I have your copy of "Lovely Bones" and have for a while (I'm a horrible person) and still plan on reading it b/c of all the amazing things I've heard. I loved "Education of Little Tree"...didn't cry as much as you mentioned you had while working a shift at Mac Shack, but definitely emotionally worth it.

Okay, so onto some television. My last post about this will be movies, so don't worry about me neglecting that particular medium.

Television was the hardest for me to remember things that really made me cry. Even though I know it is probably the most likely of the three (books, t.v. and movies) that I will tear up at simply due to sheer exposure. So I'm eager to hear what television has made you all cry. Without further ado though, here is what sticks in my mind as tear-jerker television:

-Well, what first comes to mind is the Olympics Opening Ceremony. This one is funny b/c I have been very vocal with how I find both the opening and closing ceremonies a waste of 5 hours of television (and thats just for one of them). I guess I've never just sat down and watched them. Not that I did this last time. I was working out on the trusty elliptical here in Iraq during the summer olympics and naturally, anything sports-related was on. It happened to be the opening ceremony. I groaned inwardly and immediately started trying to find something to drift off into thought with. But as my eyes kept going to the screen, just seeing these athletes, who have worked so hard for 4 years, rise to the top of their sport and get their moment on the center stage of the world, it got me. And seeing the pride of each nation in their athletes. What a spectacular feeling that must be. So it wasn't just sweat dripping down my cheeks that morning.

-While we are on sports, it must be mentioned that certain pivotal games make me cry. I get wayyyy too invested and the whole play-off experience is already so emotionally draining, that I can't help but cry when my team loses or wins. More often than not, they lose. The game I remember crying the most at was the 1997 loss of KU to Arizona. Man, I sobbed after that game. It still hurts in case you were curious. Their winning of the championship last year went a long way to healing that (and the Syracuse) wound, but still...

-I used to be OBSESSED with ER. If anyone dared call me during the hours of 9 p.m and 10 p.m. on Thursday night, I would refuse to talk to them. That was my time. Now, that time is whatever time Lost is on, but once upon a television, it was ER. I remember being terrified and filled with anxiety for the week after the episode where Carter is stabbed on Valentines Day, just praying that they wouldn't kill him off. And I remember that same season, in the season finale, crying when Carter finally admitted he had a pain-killer addiction (due to the stabbing and subsequent surgery) to Benton, after taking a swing at his mentor. They get on the plane together for rehab, and man, that was a good episode. But it was nothing compared to the one where Dr. Green dies. Oh, I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed at that one. I think Elise watched it with me, an ER novice herself, and she sobbed as well. ER has been replaced in my heart, but that episode never will be.

-Funny about that Carter season finale, it also had the episode of Friends and Frasier that made me cry. It was the episode of Friends where Chandler proposes to Monica, and the episode of Frasier where Daphne picks Niles. It was an emotional night for me, and that Friends proposal still chokes me up. It is the perfect proposal and my favorite Friends episode of all time. I was apparently a basket case that Thursday night.

-Any episode of Oprah featuring mothers or someone getting their wildest dream, and I am a bucket of tears. I can be in the pissiest, least emotional mood ever, and all it takes is someone recognizing how amazing their mom is to have me crying hard. It doesn't even matter if it is on in the background as I get ready for work, I am always reduced to tears. Darn that Oprah and her emotionally manipulative episodes.

-The episode of Buffy where her mom dies is one of the best episodes of television ever. They use a Sarah Mc. song to perfection in that ep.

-The Gilmore Girls have me crying at many, many points, but that final episode was soooo good and I think I spent the whole thing crying, from the theme song to the last shot of them in the diner, I was dripping like a leaky faucet. It was similar to Harry Potter, where I knew I was saying goodbye to them, but man, when Lorelei tells Rory "It's too soon", oh, I'm just crying right along with them. Gosh, I absolutely love that show. It is my favorite show of all time. That's right, I said it. I have many competing heavily for number two, and I'm not saying it is the best show ever made (that would be The Wire and Arrested Development), but it is my personal favorite, go-to, comfort, tear-jerking escape.

-Last but not at all least is Scrubs. There are too many episodes that have reduced me to tears to count, so I'll just say that there is no show out there that can have me laughing so hard I'm crying and then in the next second, just simply crying. Episodes that stand out are the ones with Brendan Fraser, any episode that has Dr. Cox emoting, and the one where J.D.'s dad dies. And that finale this year? For any Scrubs fan out there (looking at you Em and Joe), it was tear-jerking and completely satisfying. The perfect finale. My favorite part? "Hooch IS crazy."

So, there it is, the t.v. that has me crying. I'm missing so much from this list, I know. I haven't even delved into those old Hallmark commercials at Christmas time or the cotton commercials or anything involving old people, so feel free to remind me of some great television that is cry-worthy. Next up, movies...(not that that won't be enormously predictable, but it's still coming).

Cry Me A River

Last week, during my regularly scheduled phone call with Mom and Dad, we were talking about something (can't remember what) and it came up that I hate to cry. Mom was surprised and I went into my explanation of how I keep myself from crying at movies and the like (I think of funny scenarios like puppies playing in flour or episodes of Arrested Development). If I don't cry, I not only don't get splotchy face, but I can maintain my emotionless superiority over the rest of you tear-buckets. However, there are moments when no amount of reminiscing about Gob-isms can prevent that pounding heart, the dripping nose and the little gasps for breath as you hold back sobs. They come in a variety of circumstances, one of which I just finished reading about on the Entertainment Weekly website: books. Now, I should say this has inspired me to reminisce not only about the books that make me cry, but the movies and t.v. shows, so this could become a series.

But first things first, a sampling of the books that I can't help but sob while reading. Many of these will be familiar to all of you, and those that aren't, I promise not to spoil the ending for you in case you want to pick it up with a box of Kleenex.

-Well, no tear-jerker book list can be complete without a mention of the last three Harry Potter books. This will not be spoiler-free b/c you all have read these (and if you haven't, you are clearly not a member of my family/extended circle and I don't need to accommodate you). I remember reading the 5th book, as Harry is in Dumbledores office, completely out of control and I'm just bawling my little eyes out. I lived at home at the time, it was a Sunday night, and Mom comes down to get me to come to dinner, and I have to explain to her with my red eyes that now wasn't the time. Well, each book got successively more tearful. In book 6, it was in the middle of the night that I'm finishing it, and it wasn't until Dumbledores funeral with Hagrid sobbing and Harry realizing what he has to do, on his own, that it hit me and I cried and cried. I had refused to believe he was dead all through that battle with Snape and with everyone else discovering he had fallen, but the funeral made it real. And his office, with his portrait sleeping on the wall. By now I was ready and prepared for what J.K. would throw at me in book 7. I remember Kyle and I were reading it and trying to pace each other so we didn't binge too fast on the experience, but I'm a naturally faster reader than most, so I would have to put it down and wait for him to catch up. However, after the escape from Gringotts, there was no way I could halt my reading, and when I knew I would start crying (The Battle at Hogwarts), I had to leave the living room so I wouldn't inadvertently ruin it for him. From that chapter on, it was just straight tears with the occasional laugh, gasp, hiccup, sob, up until the end. Parts that especially get me include the forest scene of course ("will it hurt?"), when Hagrid carries his body sobbing, when everyone refuses to believe his death is real, the house-elves coming out with Kreacher in front, Neville, and the epilogue. Man, I'm tearing up just thinking about these scenes. And it isn't just the amazing story J.K. wrote, it was saying goodbye to one of the best cultural experiences I will ever have. It's not a forever goodbye though, as I can pick of the books at any time in the future.

-Next book that I thought of was Jacob Have I Loved by Katherine Patterson, same author that wrote Bridge to Terebithia. I know it is the less typical pick of the two in terms of favorite books/tearjerkers, but it is the one I lean towards. It is also the first book I remember that reduced me to soaking my t-shirt with my waterworks. I've always had a strong sympathy for the sibling that is, for lack of a better phrase, "the wind beneath the other siblings wings." This one epitomizes that theme.

-Which leads me to East of Eden, a book that was introduced to me by Emily; I will be forever grateful. It is another sibling book where my favorite character is the outwardly lesser of the two, Cal. Interestingly enough, both books are also loosely based around biblical tales, with JHIL being based around Jacob and Esau, and EOE around Cain and Abel. Just funny that these are two books that no matter how many times I read them, they will move me, touch me, make me think, and leave me drained at the end.

-It was Juli that had me reading Little Women, another one to add to this list. I don't recall which part makes me cry more, Jo's rejection of Laurie, Beths death, Jo's discovery of Laurie and Amy (that one has me crying from fury), her budding relationship with the professor, I don't know. Man, I need to re-read this book.

-The Joy Luck Club is kinda a downer book, so you expect to be depressed through a lot of it. But for me, its at the end when June goes to China for reasons I won't detail in case you haven't read it that I lose it. The movie is equally sob-a-rific, but that is for a potential future post.

-I think the last one I will mention is The Road by Cormac McCarthy. I must say, I was not at all anticipating crying in this one. It is written in a non-traditional format, it is bleak, stark, depressing, dystopian, and just didn't have me anticipating the gut-punch it gave me at the end. I remember staying up past 8 p.m. to finish it, b/c as depressing as it is, it is still a really good book, and tearing up at the end, satisfied with the read. And as I got up to get ready for bed, I just kept thinking about it and within seconds, I was sobbing. It was so intense. I laughed at how ridiculous I was through my tears, and still didn't stop crying. I think I cried myself to sleep. It is the last book (with the exception of re-reading Harry Potter) that I have cried so hard while/after reading. I don't recommend it to everyone for the reasons I mentioned above, but for those who think they can handle it, it is completely worth it. Plus, it is also a yet-to-be-release movie starring Viggo Mortenson, and if you read it, you will realize how absolutely perfect he is for the role.

Now its your turn. What was a book that surprised you with tears at its intensity? What is your go-to crying read? What book do you remember first made you cry? I'm sure we have some overlapping tastes, just as I'm sure that different books and stories will elicit different reactions from us. But maybe we can all get a new book to add to our reading list and have a good ole cry over it. And I had some fun with this, so anticipate a film and t.v. version soon.

A Bright Spot in a Dusty Day

It is sandstorm season here in Tikrit, which means that Flo is going to spend every day hacking and coughing and pretending that every little cloud she sees is proof of worse sandstorms to come. It also means that getting out of Tikrit for any reason, by any means, is all the harder. So I approach my upcoming R&R with some trepidation. I will either get to Baghdad extremely early and have to find some way to spend my days in a place I remember to be as bad, if not worse, than Kuwait, or I miss my oppurtunity/flight and have to find some way to meet up with Kathy and Kyle later. But these are things to worry about in a few days.

In the meantime, I have to mention the amazing care package I got the other day from Tamara and Steven. Completely unexpected and entirely delightful, it is the best part of my week. They wrote little notes for every item, which just added to the amusement. My personal favorite that still makes me laugh out loud was attached to a mini "Daily Spanish for Dummies." It said (written by Steven): "Some Spanish to help for your trip to Greece. (Tamara in backgroung) 'Um, I think they speek Greek in Greece, not Spanish.' Me, 'Babe, I am the geography king. I won the Oakland geography bee in the 7th grade. Don't argue.' (Tamara rolls her eyes)."

Classic high jinx from these two.

It also included some chocolate yummies, gum, a "Middle-East Conflict for Dummies", EW, crosswords, a recycled bag, and a few other goodies. Thank you so much you two...it was so very thoughtful and well-received. I love you both and I hope you had as much fun compiling this package as it seems you did.

On another note, I'm watching Firefly, lent to me by my very gracious sister, Sarah. With the way I'm plowing through it, I should be watching the movie shortly. I think I've mentioned on twitter that it is hard to keep watching knowing that it is going to end very soon. It only took a couple of episodes to become absolutely hooked to these characters and the unique stories that are told. So if anyone wants to talk Firefly in the future, I'm game.

Other than that, things are pretty much same old, same old. I have an Iraqi version of senioritis, where it is really hard for me to care/invest in anything I do here since the end is so near. I planned out my 2nd and 3rd R&R's with the intent of having the longest stretch of time behind me by the end of my 2nd, not realizing that I would come back so not wanting to work or do anything. And pretty much resenting anyone who dares ask me to learn anything new. I struggle every day to get through it and just keep telling myself that if I continue with this attitude, the gods will smite me and force me to stay another year, all b/c I counted my going home eggs before they hatched. I fear the time after this upcoming R&R most of all. The fact that it is hard to quit and just walk off will work in my favor here. For all those wondering, I will probably stay till mid-late July. I want to stay on so Dave can take his R&R, which he plans to take at the beginning of July, and then hang for a week after, so I don't thrust the whole program at him immediately after he lands. I don't think there will be anyone new to train, b/c word on the downlow is that they are cutting back so much here, there will only be one project controls person (that's what I do, if you are confused). So naturally it would be Dave...and hopefully he isn't thinking the same about me.

I miss you all dearly and really don't know what half of you are doing right now/how you are doing. Heck, I'll call you out...that way, if someone else knows how you are doing, they can shoot me an email. Juli, Kirsti...hmmm, not as many as I thought. I've gotten a couple of cards from Elise, so I know she is well enough to address an envelope, I talk to mom and dad weekly, so I know how the pets are (and every story delights me more than the last), Sarah blogs regularly, Steven and Tamara just sent me a package, so they are doing fine, talked to Em last week and despite being the caretaker of a male sickhouse, her crew is doing fine (headed back from Wisconsin, if I believe), so yeah, that just leaves Kirsti and Juli. Are they alive? Are they well? Someone drop me a line and let me know.

Have a great day of the dead (what I used to think Cinco de Mayo stood for and would wish people, and I find it so amusing how wrong I was that I continue to do it)!!

This internet connection chafes at my soul.

I'm taking a break from my workday since I skipped going to breakfast, and saw that my internet connection was at a 'very good' level, which it is NEVER at. It wavers between disappearing and hovering at low, reconnecting itself so frequently that downloading anything, even a short song from itunes, is a practice in patience and not throwing my laptop against a wall. Well, as I type this, it has quickly switched to 'very low'...apparently the wireless has mood swings. Maybe it has seasonal affective disorder and the dust storm is making it feel down. All I need to do is get it a bright light and sit it down in front of that light for 20 minutes a day. Maybe then it will be consistent enough for me to get a post written.

All silly hypotheticals aside, I did want to take advantage of its 'very good' reading and get some random thoughts out a.k.a. letting you know I'm still alive. And thats not to imply that I think you all still think of me as in this dangerous warzone or anything. Rather, I'm sure many of you suspect I may have started toying with extreme sports and heavy drug usage if only to give me something to do besides counting the many ways in which I could be bored to death here. How do people do this for their lifetime? HOW? I am immersed in this constant battle of security vs. happiness, and while I think it is really hard to be happy without feeling secure (I'm talking financially, roof-over-your-head sort of secure), it is probably not that hard to feel secure and not feel happy. I'm surrounded by people who live it every day, in my humble opinion. And I used to believe that all I needed was to be secure in my finances in order to be happy. That is not to say that I've completely changed my mind or that I am unhappy. But I really don't think I could call my life here a happy one. It is a settled one, a routine one, heck, even a content one. But happy? I don't want to attach such a great word to how I live. Small things make me happy, such as the birthday card I got from Elise yesterday, very appropriate by the way. Or when I treat myself to a diet coke or ice cream bar from the DFAC. Or talking on the phone to various family members and not getting interrupted by the early arrival of Flo or Dave. But these are really small things in very long days. And I'm not claiming I lived a life of sheer happiness while in the States, but at least those stretches of bliss were a bit longer and more under my control.

Wow, this is so not where I thought this post would take me. Free thought and all that. Basically, I am doing fine here, but dreaming of the day when I can drive for no reason, play board games, eat a cupcake (they don't have them here, and lets face it, cake is NOT the same), call one of you up for no reason except to talk about a weird commercial I just saw, have a steady internet connection, have a day off, sleep in and not feel guilty, eat beef that doesn't make my stomach churn later, work with people who are only 10 years older than me, own a dog, go to the movies....man, I can't wait.

Some random thoughts for you inspired by an interview with crazy ole' Matthew McHOTehey:

-I have about 10 books sharing my bed with me. It doesn't take more than the minimal effort to get up and put these on a shelf, but I haven't done that yet. Why? I have no clue.

-I love InStyle magazine (where the MM interview was) even though I can't afford their "budget buys" (seriously? A 200$ purse is a budget saver? Really?) and I naturally feel hideous next to the celebrity they are focusing on. But they are just so accessible to the average fashion lover (hear that Vogue? Your ad's may be pretty, but come on, most of us do not work in fashion), their layout is very asthetically pleasing (calling you out again Vogue), they have a great feature where they talk about planning the perfect theme party, and I just like the stuff they choose to feature.

-That latest Harry Potter trailer is CRAMAZING!!! I am trying to recall if any of the other movies trailers brought out such excitement for me, and I'm fairly positive they didn't. Maybe its because this book is the one I have the least problem with them toying around with. Maybe its because this is the first movie being released that isn't overshadowed by the fact that we STILL don't know how it ends. Maybe its all the great marketing and the well-made trailers. I don't know, but I get chills when I see the trailer and I cannot wait to be seated in an air-conditioned theatre with my big diet coke, my snuck-in goodies, and some family members around me watching this thing.

-I got approved for my R&R, which sadly does not involve a visit home, but wonderfully does involve two weeks in Greece. As Greece has been my numero uno foreign destination dream for some time now, my excitement is palpable. We are thinking of doing a couple of days in Athens, hop over to Mykonos for two days, then Paros for two days, then Santorini for a week, and then back to Athens for our last couple of days. I will probably get skin cancer for the amount of time I plan to spend sitting on a beach there. And I'm okay with that.

-Hugh Jackman twitters...I'm following him now...maybe this will one day lead to us meeting, I don't know. A girl can dream.

-Finished Watership Down. It is as good as Em and Joe say it is, so check it out folks. It took me a long while to get into it (in that I kept putting it down to watch Jon Stewart or to read a magazine or other book), but once I did, it was fantastic. Hoping that when I attempt the LOTR series, it will be a similar experience.

-Lost has been awesome (spoiler alert for the 2 people out there who don't watch this show)
...who knew that this season would have Sawyer becoming my second favorite character (ain't no one gonna oust Sayid from that spot, no matter how many children he shoots) and Juliet in the top 5? And Hurley's reference to Back to the Future? HILARZ!!! And so along my train of thought when it comes to time travel.

-Ordered 4 swimsuits from various places online in preparations for above stated R&R. Why so many? Well, I don't have one and I also don't have a handy mall nearby, so I need options and plan to return the other 3 when I try them all on. Sounds painful and I think it will be painful...all that shipping.

-Kyle has a pug puppy named Hugo and I am totes jealous/happy for him and his puppy. I really, really, want a dog, and I will admit to spending free time looking at petfinder.com for the future focus of my adoration. I don't even know if I will be able to own a dog next year, but I still look.

-No one seems to understand my fear of sea snakes here. I think they need to watch that part of Planet Earth where they are en masse, and where my fear truly started, only to be heightened by Lonesome Dove, when a guy falls into a nest of water moccasins and dies. Snakes that can go from land to water? WORST THING EVER!!! And did anyone read the story about the pythons that escaped from baggage and were on a commercial flight from Australia (or somewhere close by)? Apparently it isn't just a bad movie starring Samuel L, it is a horrific reality.

-I really like oatmeal...especially when I put strawberry jam and some french vanilla creamer in it. Give it a try, your taste buds will thank you.

Okay, I could keep going, but I have been absent from work far too long...have a great weekend!!

Oh, and Happy Birthday Sarah dear!!! I hope it is amazing and that your fish cooperate and that you eat lots of good food and have a great time. LOVE you lots, sarah-bearah.

A smidge of my European trip...

Well, I believe most stories that have no real center are told better in person, so forgive me if I just post a few European pictures with some comments on them. My trip was a story without a center. Some amusing anecdotes, a lot of random observations, a bit of gushing, and some lessons learned. I'll give one of each before I start some pictures, and then if you want to hear more, you shall when we see each other again.

Amusing anecdote: Kyle and I had quite the easy time in London. We figured out the tube system immediately (by we, I mean Kyle, and I caught on by day three), we fit in pretty well, we enjoyed London for what London is (a tough contender for my new favorite city of all time...to be fair, I'll have to visit Chicago again and see if it holds up), we had it all under control. Feeling a bit arrogant at the ease we took to European life, we eagerly anticipated Paris and the challenges we would conquer there. We figured with our combined charm (once again, I mean Kyle's charm), his french abilities (he can pronounce things right, I can't), and a positive attitude, we wouldn't encounter any of that french rudeness we had heard about. Well, about an hour into Paris, at our first outside cafe, Kyle ordered us a couple of sodas and an appetizer to share in what I thought was really good french. That is, until the waiter walked away and mocked us as soon as he left, not attempting to lower his voice, probably assuming our french was so bad we wouldn't even understand when we were being insulted. We were able to laugh at our conceit at the idea of even trying to fit in there, and just accepted we would stick out like sore thumbs during the Paris portion of our trip. And we did. And Parisians/the French are as arrogant and distinct as I had heard and dismissed. I love them for that alone. And love them even more for their love of cinema and carb's.

Random observations:
-Europeans LOVE bicycles and hate helmets. Or maybe don't even know bike helmets exist. I think I saw one person in London wearing a bike helmet, and that was it. To be fair, I was most terrified for bicyclists in London than any other city, so good thing I saw the helmet there.
-Chocolate is better in Europe. I didn't even get any fancy, chocolatier chocolate. I'm talking average candy bars at a convenience store...its just better.
-Amsterdam had the best t.v. for a lazy American looking for an escape from culture. They had both BBC's (which meant wonderfully entertaining quiz shows in the evening), MTV, CNN, ESPN, and a couple other channels that had random episodes of shows like Suddenly Susan, which I had to take a picture of to show that in some parts of the world, this show is still relevant.
-London had the best subways, hands down. They had the most convenient seating (read: they didn't force you to bump knees with strangers), they had the clearest connections/maps, so clear, they were instinctual, they DIDN'T smell like urine, and they love them some escalators, which is wonderful for the walk-heavy tourist or the person carting their heavy luggage to the train station. Oh, and they have this pleasant voiced british lady saying as you got off "Mind the Gap", which I loved so much I got the super touristy t-shirt that says that same thing.
-Cathedrals are cold. I think I've already gone on about this, but I feel it needs to be mentioned again. I mean, dang. I get that they are historic and all that, but invest in some space heaters or something. Jeez.
-Peeps in Amsterdam love them some french fries, so I love the peeps in Amsterdam. It doesn't take a genius to figure out why quick, convenient, fried food is so popular, so I'll just enjoy the fringe benefits.
-There are TONS of beggars in Paris. And shifty characters looking to scam you in Amsterdam. And lots of street musicians in Austria.

Gushing moment:
One of my favorite moments of my trip was definitely one of my most blatent tourist moments. Mom had brought along The Sound of Music for us to enjoy on my portable dvd player while we traveled through Austria. Well, we had a 4 hour drive ahead of us from Graz to Salzburg and figured we would just watch it then. But it caught the eye of a few other bus passengers, and through the graciousness of our hosts/bus driver (our dvd didn't work in the foriegn dvd player, so they found their own copy), we were able to view the movie on the t.v.'s above our seats while we enjoyed the drive. And while we were enjoying the movie, we were driving through the most gorgeous scenery ever. I have driven through many places, and have many more to go, but I think I can say without a doubt, the drive to Salzburg is one of the top three most scenic drives ever. It was breathtaking. I'm not even a mountains obsessor like most others, but I may have to convert. SO, if any of you go to Austria, shell out the dough, rent the car, and drive through the countryside for a bit. You won't be able to watch Sound of Music at the same time, but surely you can get your hands on the soundtrack.

Lessons learned: I had to teach myself to not stress over all the things I didn't do. There is simply not enough time to enjoy everything Paris has to offer. The sheer thought of it overwhelms me. I just had to accept I would return and visit other new things. So we didn't stress that Versailles didn't happen, or that we didn't really explore any of the other districts outside of the center ones, or really go shopping in some of the fabulous stores. We did see the Eiffel tour, walked along the Seine, the Champ de Elsyees (I so know I got that one wrong), went to the Louvre, ate lots of bread and cheese. We just enjoyed our time. And it was the same with all the other cities to which we went. No, I didn't see any of the royal residences in London, or get up close to the Big Ben, but I did get to go to the famous street market on Portebello Road in Notting Hill, and I did get to see Billy Elliot in Victoria at the famous Victoria Opera house (I might have that name wrong, it might be the Albert and Victoria Theatre or something), and I ate fish and chips in a pub called The Three Greyhounds in Soho. In Amsterdam, we missed out on the museums, but loved our canal tour and visiting the flower market and eating french fries every day covered in flavored mayonaise. In Austria, we saw a lot in the short amount of time we had, and so I had to be okay with not just sitting for 2 hours on a street cafe in Graz, or going to the opera in Vienna. We did use our free time well there and went to the Belvedere museum and saw the Klimt exhibit, which was completely worth it. It is as breathtaking as it promised to be. And in Munich, I definitely did not get enough time there and I cannot WAIT to return and fully appreciate it. I did get to see their famous Glockenspeil, shop a bit, and finally eat my steak (long story short, it had been 5 months since I had a decent steak, so to have it for my last meal before I left, worth it on so many levels).

Basically, many may focus on what I missed out on, but I'm going to focus on what I got to experience. And it was a heck of a lot.

So, that went a bit longer than I anticipated. I'm way too wordy. I'll try to tone it down when explaining the following pictures.

Picture 1: Kyle in the quintessential symbol of England, a red telephone booth. I think he's going for "Wow, they still have these things on cords!" look.

Picture 2: Me at the Tower of London, posing on the backdrop of the Tower Bridge. This was the farthest we ventured in London, as we mainly stuck to the center area.

Picture 3: I clearly don't need to explain where we are at here...just enjoying the view.
Picture 4: Posing along the banks of the Seine, along which we walked towards the Eiffel tower/Louvre and such. It reeked of urine this close to the river. Clearly, others appreciation of the beauty of Paris was more literal than ours.




Picture 5: This picture just makes me laugh. Walking in Amsterdam, just happened upon these large shoes perfect for posing.

Picture 6: Posing at one tiny part of the enormous flower market. Despite the early spring chill, there were still lots of flowers to be had.

Picture 7: Mom at the summer palace of the Austrian Monarchy. Can't remember how to spell their last names...wikipedia that if you really want to know.

Picture 8: Mom had just eaten baby cow...thought you all should know why she looks so evilly delighted with herself.
Picture 9: Posing in front of one of the Sound of Music landmarks, though without 7 children singing and marching around me, it loses its context. Just trust me.
Picture 10: At a fortress at the top of Salzburg. This view doesn't even begin to do Austria justice...just a small taste of an exceptionally beautiful country.
Picture 11: Mom and I on the last day of traveling, my birthday. Just another gorgeous day in Salzburg. It must be said that it did rain that night, thus further proving the curse that is my birthday and the 28 year record of it raining on that day.

There are tons more pictures, but they are better shown with me giving a running commentary, so if you have an interest, let me know and we'll hang when I come back home.