So much to do, so little time...

In two weeks, if all goes well, I should be sitting in Dulles Airport right about now, waiting 90 minutes to board a plane that takes me to Kansas City, where Kyle should be waiting to pick me and Kathy up. It's a moment I've thought about a lot, and one that is getting closer and closer.

How do I feel? Well, excited, of course, but as the time draws nearer, a lot of other emotions are going through me as well. Panic, that I will forget something crucial (like my passport or check card). Curiosity, has four months changed my perspective, or is that all hooey that I tell myself to convince myself I've grown. Anxiety, that my planning for this wedding shower will still not be enough and I'll be left scrambling the two days I have before it. Hope, that I will not drag my heels when it's time to say goodbye again and know that the next stint over here will allow me to go to Europe. Irritation, at all the grad school processes I have to take care of while home and still haven't gotten done over here. Dread, at that stupid GRE. Fear, that all the steps I have to take to actually get to Kuwait, and then get to the Kuwaiti airport, will be hard and influenced by factors out of my control. Glee, at the thought of all the friends and family I get to see, and that my only responsibility while being home is to see all of you.

Was that enough emoting for you? The robot feels. It's true. Right now, the more negative ones are taking over. For three and a half months, it was all excitement, but now I'm filled with all the things I need to do. I need to study more (I've slacked in the past few weeks), I need to write a rough draft of a personal statement, I need to make a good list of everything I plan to borrow from Mom and Dad (sleeping bag, pillow, piece of cardboard covered in foil for the cake I'm decorating,)(see? I've already started), I need to make a good list of things I need to do before the wedding, I need to see if my dress still fits, I need new clothes and shoes, I need to ship some boxes home, I need to clear my desk of all my work and make procedures for those who are taking over my duties, I need to go to logistics to get my air and ground movement papers filled out, I need to not eat that delicious ice cream bar that calls my name every day at the DFAC, I need to get my lodging set up and finalize plans, I need, I need, I need.

Okay, just breathe Beckie. These are good weeds. They get you closer to the goal. You don't need to stress about this because in two weeks, you will be in America. You will be chilling with Kathy, planning out your first taste of American food (she's thinking Chipotle, I'm leaning towards Jimmy Johns). You will be getting your haircut the day after, and you know how much you love someone to touch your head (you were a dog in another life). You will be eating Mom and Dad's homemade pizza soon. You will get to hold Noah and see how much he's grown. You get to drive your own car and listen to NPR. You get to sleep in. You get to go to the movie theater and pay way too much money for popcorn you never finish and watch a movie that is more than likely not worth the build-up (if only The Road could be released in October). You get to sit around various tables, laughing with friends and family, and just be.

Wow, when starting this entry, I didn't realize it would become three paragraphs full of lists. The past two days though, this has been my thought process. And I have a feeling, it will be for the next two weeks. Pray for the weather to not be crappy when I'm trying to leave Speicher and Kathy is trying to leave the IZ. Pray that I will figure out all the steps I have to take both here, and then at Tent City while I wait for my flight (I'll be there about 3 days). Pray that the flights are on time and travel safely. Other than that, just hold tight b/c I'll be seeing you all soon.