I don't like February. I don't know if I've ever liked February. It is filled with holidays that are not recognized enough to include me getting off of work/school, it's persistently gray and not in the cool, April showers sort of way, it's short but feels endless, the reasons go on and on. I'm just over this weather. As is everyone else in the state. BUT, one thing I am managing to enjoy this month is school. As much anxiety and stress it brings me, it also is really where I need to be.
I'm not saying that the multitude of paths I contemplate wouldn't have been equally fulfilling, but this one really feels right. I'm enjoying my classes even when I'm hating them. For instance, my sociology of gender class is taught by a great professor (and who will most likely be my thesis advisor next year)and the topic is right up my alley. BUT, it is mainly filled with undergraduates who clearly have never had a true gender/women studies class. Most of them feel the need to not only provide the most basic, banal forms of gender stratification in their lives, but their comrades feel the need to follow up their comments with their own, same, stories, which irritates me to know end b/c I yearn for a truly intellectual discussion. Regardless, it is still rewarding for the tiny moments something important is realized or a great discussion emerges.
As for my other two classes, they are incredibly difficult and time-consuming, but when I'm in them, immersed in the ideas and learning, I feel great. I really think this is my area of expertise, not because I get it (b/c there are NUMEROUS areas that are still way too deep for my feeble mind), but because I feel inspired. I don't know yet where this is going to take me, but it's foverwhelming (that's fun and overwhelming...not clever, but hey, I'm not an English major) to be finding it out.
I think that's it from here in W-Burg. Hoping this last week of February/crap month/armpit of the year goes by really quickly and hope everyone else's months are not as bleak as the month makes it out to be.