Tuesday, February 23, 2010

February bites

I don't like February. I don't know if I've ever liked February. It is filled with holidays that are not recognized enough to include me getting off of work/school, it's persistently gray and not in the cool, April showers sort of way, it's short but feels endless, the reasons go on and on. I'm just over this weather. As is everyone else in the state. BUT, one thing I am managing to enjoy this month is school. As much anxiety and stress it brings me, it also is really where I need to be.

I'm not saying that the multitude of paths I contemplate wouldn't have been equally fulfilling, but this one really feels right. I'm enjoying my classes even when I'm hating them. For instance, my sociology of gender class is taught by a great professor (and who will most likely be my thesis advisor next year)and the topic is right up my alley. BUT, it is mainly filled with undergraduates who clearly have never had a true gender/women studies class. Most of them feel the need to not only provide the most basic, banal forms of gender stratification in their lives, but their comrades feel the need to follow up their comments with their own, same, stories, which irritates me to know end b/c I yearn for a truly intellectual discussion. Regardless, it is still rewarding for the tiny moments something important is realized or a great discussion emerges.

As for my other two classes, they are incredibly difficult and time-consuming, but when I'm in them, immersed in the ideas and learning, I feel great. I really think this is my area of expertise, not because I get it (b/c there are NUMEROUS areas that are still way too deep for my feeble mind), but because I feel inspired. I don't know yet where this is going to take me, but it's foverwhelming (that's fun and overwhelming...not clever, but hey, I'm not an English major) to be finding it out.

I think that's it from here in W-Burg. Hoping this last week of February/crap month/armpit of the year goes by really quickly and hope everyone else's months are not as bleak as the month makes it out to be.


Tamara said...

YEAH...and update from the Beckster.....BLAM!!!! ha ha ha....

I'm glad you finally found something that inspires you, and makes you feel that you belong there, and that you're in the right place. I think I have found my niche, and I LURV it...for reals! Teenagers are really crazy, but I lurv them to death (even though I thought I never would), and I love Spanish! But you...you like gender issues. And hey- I find that cool and fascinating. So, I'm happy for you.

Are you getting excited about Chicago???? It's "just around the river bend" (tra la la)....I mean, the corner! :)

Kirsti said...

I hate February almost as much as you do. This is the month that I find I wish I were in a vegetative state so that I don't have to do homework or move at all. But then March rolls around faster than anything else and it's amazing! Thank goodness February is the shortest month of the year.

I'm also jealous that you've found something that you love. I'm still discovering my path in life. One day I'll find that thing that I just love and hate at the same time, like you did. Love ya, sis!

P.S. my word verification to post this comment is "cershasm". Since when do computers make up nonsense words?

Julina said...

I'm surprised if anyone has gotten a *real* word from the verification. Mine is "squess"

But (assuming it comes through) here is a Calvin & Hobbes dedicated to Beckie and blech-h-y February:


Hang in there - only 3 more days (ok, 4 if you count the rest of today)!

Sarah Lambson said...

February should just be done away with. Forget the whole month. Just tack on days to the end of every other month. Maybe that will make it more bearable...or January and March will just have a horrible slump in them.

I don't think I have hated Feb. weather as much as I do right now here in NH. Snow, then rain, then snow, then rain (winter rain is the worst by the way) and then snow but it too warm and it all melts within a day. Ug.

I'm glad you are into learning right now. Part of me wonder if I should go and get my masters in Anthropology...interesting huh? But I am DONE with the learning for a while. I am more into EXPERIENCING right now and I am loving that (because you learn during all the experiencing too!) Okay...long comment. I'm done.

Peeser said...

I'm with Sarah that winter rain is the WORST!!! That being said, while February is a pain, it's true, I feel it is a chance for winter to have one last fling, crappy though it may be. I like winter well enough. I even like snow. I just want winter to have those four short weeks (that do seem to feel longer than in any other month) to get all the cold, snow, ice, wetness out of its system so that by March 1, the world is SO READY for SPRING!
(At least, in my ideal world, winter would be totally finished by March 1 and the green would already be starting to appear...)

Beckie- I'm glad you have found something that truly moves you to what may even become inspired greatness. I'm sorry you're stuck with a number of seemingly self-centered intellectual wimps who wouldn't know an original thought if it threw them a right hook... but I am glad you are able to find moments of meaningful enlightenment and edification that help you get through all the banalities of college life.

Good luck with the rest of your semester!