This internet connection chafes at my soul.

I'm taking a break from my workday since I skipped going to breakfast, and saw that my internet connection was at a 'very good' level, which it is NEVER at. It wavers between disappearing and hovering at low, reconnecting itself so frequently that downloading anything, even a short song from itunes, is a practice in patience and not throwing my laptop against a wall. Well, as I type this, it has quickly switched to 'very low'...apparently the wireless has mood swings. Maybe it has seasonal affective disorder and the dust storm is making it feel down. All I need to do is get it a bright light and sit it down in front of that light for 20 minutes a day. Maybe then it will be consistent enough for me to get a post written.

All silly hypotheticals aside, I did want to take advantage of its 'very good' reading and get some random thoughts out a.k.a. letting you know I'm still alive. And thats not to imply that I think you all still think of me as in this dangerous warzone or anything. Rather, I'm sure many of you suspect I may have started toying with extreme sports and heavy drug usage if only to give me something to do besides counting the many ways in which I could be bored to death here. How do people do this for their lifetime? HOW? I am immersed in this constant battle of security vs. happiness, and while I think it is really hard to be happy without feeling secure (I'm talking financially, roof-over-your-head sort of secure), it is probably not that hard to feel secure and not feel happy. I'm surrounded by people who live it every day, in my humble opinion. And I used to believe that all I needed was to be secure in my finances in order to be happy. That is not to say that I've completely changed my mind or that I am unhappy. But I really don't think I could call my life here a happy one. It is a settled one, a routine one, heck, even a content one. But happy? I don't want to attach such a great word to how I live. Small things make me happy, such as the birthday card I got from Elise yesterday, very appropriate by the way. Or when I treat myself to a diet coke or ice cream bar from the DFAC. Or talking on the phone to various family members and not getting interrupted by the early arrival of Flo or Dave. But these are really small things in very long days. And I'm not claiming I lived a life of sheer happiness while in the States, but at least those stretches of bliss were a bit longer and more under my control.

Wow, this is so not where I thought this post would take me. Free thought and all that. Basically, I am doing fine here, but dreaming of the day when I can drive for no reason, play board games, eat a cupcake (they don't have them here, and lets face it, cake is NOT the same), call one of you up for no reason except to talk about a weird commercial I just saw, have a steady internet connection, have a day off, sleep in and not feel guilty, eat beef that doesn't make my stomach churn later, work with people who are only 10 years older than me, own a dog, go to the movies....man, I can't wait.

Some random thoughts for you inspired by an interview with crazy ole' Matthew McHOTehey:

-I have about 10 books sharing my bed with me. It doesn't take more than the minimal effort to get up and put these on a shelf, but I haven't done that yet. Why? I have no clue.

-I love InStyle magazine (where the MM interview was) even though I can't afford their "budget buys" (seriously? A 200$ purse is a budget saver? Really?) and I naturally feel hideous next to the celebrity they are focusing on. But they are just so accessible to the average fashion lover (hear that Vogue? Your ad's may be pretty, but come on, most of us do not work in fashion), their layout is very asthetically pleasing (calling you out again Vogue), they have a great feature where they talk about planning the perfect theme party, and I just like the stuff they choose to feature.

-That latest Harry Potter trailer is CRAMAZING!!! I am trying to recall if any of the other movies trailers brought out such excitement for me, and I'm fairly positive they didn't. Maybe its because this book is the one I have the least problem with them toying around with. Maybe its because this is the first movie being released that isn't overshadowed by the fact that we STILL don't know how it ends. Maybe its all the great marketing and the well-made trailers. I don't know, but I get chills when I see the trailer and I cannot wait to be seated in an air-conditioned theatre with my big diet coke, my snuck-in goodies, and some family members around me watching this thing.

-I got approved for my R&R, which sadly does not involve a visit home, but wonderfully does involve two weeks in Greece. As Greece has been my numero uno foreign destination dream for some time now, my excitement is palpable. We are thinking of doing a couple of days in Athens, hop over to Mykonos for two days, then Paros for two days, then Santorini for a week, and then back to Athens for our last couple of days. I will probably get skin cancer for the amount of time I plan to spend sitting on a beach there. And I'm okay with that.

-Hugh Jackman twitters...I'm following him now...maybe this will one day lead to us meeting, I don't know. A girl can dream.

-Finished Watership Down. It is as good as Em and Joe say it is, so check it out folks. It took me a long while to get into it (in that I kept putting it down to watch Jon Stewart or to read a magazine or other book), but once I did, it was fantastic. Hoping that when I attempt the LOTR series, it will be a similar experience.

-Lost has been awesome (spoiler alert for the 2 people out there who don't watch this show)
...who knew that this season would have Sawyer becoming my second favorite character (ain't no one gonna oust Sayid from that spot, no matter how many children he shoots) and Juliet in the top 5? And Hurley's reference to Back to the Future? HILARZ!!! And so along my train of thought when it comes to time travel.

-Ordered 4 swimsuits from various places online in preparations for above stated R&R. Why so many? Well, I don't have one and I also don't have a handy mall nearby, so I need options and plan to return the other 3 when I try them all on. Sounds painful and I think it will be painful...all that shipping.

-Kyle has a pug puppy named Hugo and I am totes jealous/happy for him and his puppy. I really, really, want a dog, and I will admit to spending free time looking at petfinder.com for the future focus of my adoration. I don't even know if I will be able to own a dog next year, but I still look.

-No one seems to understand my fear of sea snakes here. I think they need to watch that part of Planet Earth where they are en masse, and where my fear truly started, only to be heightened by Lonesome Dove, when a guy falls into a nest of water moccasins and dies. Snakes that can go from land to water? WORST THING EVER!!! And did anyone read the story about the pythons that escaped from baggage and were on a commercial flight from Australia (or somewhere close by)? Apparently it isn't just a bad movie starring Samuel L, it is a horrific reality.

-I really like oatmeal...especially when I put strawberry jam and some french vanilla creamer in it. Give it a try, your taste buds will thank you.

Okay, I could keep going, but I have been absent from work far too long...have a great weekend!!

Oh, and Happy Birthday Sarah dear!!! I hope it is amazing and that your fish cooperate and that you eat lots of good food and have a great time. LOVE you lots, sarah-bearah.