Alternate Realities

Well, I haven't had much to write about as of late. Nothing has really changed since my last post, I'm still stressed, still anxiously awaiting my R&R, still wishing grad school didn't make me sick with anxiety. Therefore, I haven't written. But then I noticed it's been two weeks!!! Where did time go? As anticipated, this month is flying by. It's not without it's never-ending trials, but at least they are going by quickly.

What else is happening with me? Well, the idea of life paths has been on my mind. Many reasons for this:
-I'm reading a book that involves time-travel...a nice brain candy read that won't necessarily enrich me but does make me think
-Planning for the future, i.e. grad school
-Learning through slightly convoluted methods about where past friends are at in their lives right now
-Trying to figure out what makes me truly happy
-Visiting Oprah.com wayyyyy too much

Stuff like this always seems to pop up in my mind right as I'm trying to go to sleep, and b/c the sleep Gods are cruel, I end up fixated for the next hour with my mind racing on these and other topics. Quick side note, my itunes shuffle just picked the Dixie Chicks "Taking the Long Way Around" to play, a perfect song for this post. The point I'm trying to make is wondering about the "what-if's." I was just telling mom last week that if I hadn't gotten myself into the financial crisis that I did all those years ago, I would have finished my degree at Northwest, I would have more than likely switched majors to speech communications, gone immediately to grad school as a grad assistant to a speech team (I was leaning towards K-State...I know, kind of a betrayal to my KU loving core, but KU doesn't have a speech team), and then most likely taught at a small college or high school, coaching a speech team. I was so close to that fate. I know I would have been happy, but at this point in my life, I can't imagine it anymore. Going back further, what if I had gone to KU? I was planning on majoring in religious studies, which would have probably led to a study abroad for a semester or two (I love eastern religions...especially Buddhism), and then grad school after that b/c honestly, who could get a job with an undergraduate degree in religious studies, and then who knows? More than likely, teaching somewhere on the subject. And what's so funny to me is that now I'm trying to put myself on a path that will probably end in teaching, but this time Sociology/gender studies.

So all of these paths that I'm trying to take or almost took, end in me teaching. Isn't that funny? I never thought I would be a teacher. I remember my childhood dreams were pretty typical--marine biologist. If there was anything else I wanted to be, I can't remember. It wasn't until high school that a fascination with psychology began, and combined with an ineptitude towards biology, it was clear my dream of working with dolphins was not going to happen. And who knows? I could still do psychology. If I go for a PhD, I would really like to get one in Social Psychology, combining the best of sociology and psychology. But once again, the end of that rainbow is more than likely in academia. Not that there's anything wrong with that...

Okay, so getting to my point again, I can't help but wonder what other jobs I would seek if I could live my life over again. There are so many. And they fall into two very different categories: realistic and dream. For instance, my top 5 job choices that I could honestly see myself doing, and who knows, might end up doing if something else happens in my life to wrench my path in another direction, are as follows:
1) Low-level politician. I'm talking member of the school board, working on city council, something that still encourages third parties and grassroots movements.
2) Journalist. I did have an interest in that for a year in junior high, and I still think I could do it. Yeah, that journalism degree is pretty important. But I think I could have gotten that and gone into print journalism (my preferred medium).
3) Work for the U.N./Amnesty International/something with Human Rights. This would involve me honing up on some foreign languages, but I could do it.
4) Lawyer. Preferably environmental or animal rights. It wouldn't be about money at all for me, but about being part of the change I want. Or a judge.
5) Bookstore owner. I know, kinda cliche. Who doesn't want to try to recreate the library gift Belle gets from the Beast in any way they can?

Hmm, that was harder than I thought. I know I'm going to think of a few that I completely forgot, but that's what the comments section is for. These were pretty free-form though, not over-thought or anything, so I find it interesting that most of these involve trying to be a significant part of world change. Maybe it stems from my desire to be world dictator.

For funsies, my top 5 dream jobs (they are dream jobs b/c I either do not have the skills to succeed in that field without working myself to the bone, which I'm inherently against, as I love a bit of relaxation here and there, or jobs that are next to impossible to get/maybe don't exist):

1) Marine Biologist/Zoologist/Veterinarian: I love, love, love animals. Wait, strike that a bit. I mainly love mammals, and to be able to work with them as a career, oh, I would be so happy. If I were a marine biologist, I would specialize in dolphins (natch). If I were a zoologist, I would specialize in primates, and work on national geographic documentaries and such. If I were a veteranarian, I would specialize in puppies, but only ones I could save. I don't want to ever have to put down a puppy.
2) Writer for Entertainment Weekly. I would like to work in all sections of Entertainment Weekly, but if I could truly have my way, I would have a monthly column like Stephen King and rant about various things in entertainment. And I would contribute to the other issues, like reviewing a t.v. show or movie or book here or there, but mainly, rant about why my tastes are better than yours. First up, why there should be a Veronica Mars movie/attempt at a show again, and how it should end. Or a Gilmore Girls movie.
3) Travel writer, light on the writing, heavy on the dining of ethic foods and laying on the beach. I would love to be paid to travel the world. I'll even go to stupid ole' Australia, which has more poisonous spiders than any other continent, as long as I could meet Hugh Jackman. He has a favorite Sunday breakfast spot in Sydney that I'm making Kathy stalk when she goes to Sydney in two weeks. But if he leaves his wife for her, I'm ending the friendship. He's mine if he isn't his wife's.
4) Para-Psychologist: That's right, a ghost hunter. I love the idea of other-worldly phenomenon's, but I don't want it to be as extreme as Supernatural, and not as crime fighting as X-Files, so I'll just hunt out paranormal phenomenon. Man would I love to have a true paranormal experience.
5) Cupcake taster...J/K, b/c they would make me taste spice cake ones and I hate spice cakes. No, my fifth would be a chef. I would love to make cooking my only job, but not if it means I have to be open to eating all things. I will not ever eat snake or other reptiles, and that challenge on third season Top Chef that involved unique animals for cooking, well, it made me want to vomit. I would just want to own a small cafe where I can be creative, bake/cook what I want, and maybe hone it into a Food Network show where I finally get to meet Paula Deen, Ida Garten, and Sandra Lee, who I know is half drunk b/c she is always making a cocktail on her show. And we would all cook dinner for one another, and take turns driving Sandra home, and have fabulous kitchens with islands and fresh herb gardens and fresh flower arrangements. That would be amazing.

So this was also a bit free-form when thinking of my dream jobs, and once again, I find it interesting that a nice chunk of them involve me trying to be creative. I say trying b/c I am definitely lacking in the creative field. Left-brainer all the way. I get frustrated with creativity, b/c I feel both overwhelmed and completely uninspired when met with a creative challenge. I don't know about writing, but cooking is one area where I feel even slightly creative (thought I am a pretty rigid recipe follower...that darn left-brain is in charge).

Well everyone, did this post leave you confused with my messy train of thought, my unfinished arguments, my hatred of eating snake and spice cakes? Or did it get you thinking of "what if" or wondering if you were given another life to try out, what would you do with it? Assume all other factors remain the same, your childhood environment, you basic personality characterisitics, your values. What would you be? What would you dream to be?

Feel free to share in the comments, or feel free to disregard this post completely. I understand completely the importance of making our one path as meaningful as possible, so spend your time where it makes you happiest.