My memory is gone. Kaput. Never to be seen again. No, I have not been hit with flying shrapnel, and no, the stress has not dripped an acidic like hole into my hippocampus (some neurological psych nerdery for you all). My hard-drive is gone. I mean, it's still there. But the memories are not. No pictures, no music, no nothing. If today had been slower at work, I would be in a depression so deep only cookie dough and 8th season episodes of Seinfeld could bring me back. I won't get into the nitty-gritty details of it all. Lets just say I thought I could fix something myself. That should have stopped me dead in my tracks. Beckie, fix technology? Beckie, who can barely operate her Ipod and never figured out her 20 dollar phone? Laugh it up everyone, I had a moment of insanity spurred by the thought of being without my laptop in the shipping process with circuit city. It would have been forever and I can't live without this baby for that long. I'm paying the price now.
I had hordes of music on there, much of which I will never get back. I mean, I will, but it will cost more money and a lot of hunting down. I also had an enormous selection of Christmas music which was going to be my only link to the season come December. I definitely spent in the past 3 years, over 100 dollars at itunes. I hate this. Then the pictures. I fear that some of my pictures on there were the only hard copies left in the world. I will attempt to get them back, but that's going to require a lot of hope. Also, they were my link to everyone back in the states. I didn't need internet to look at my album of Noah pictures. Now it's gone.
So, I am still feeling pretty crappy about all of this. I'm angry at my computer for failing me, but scared to get too angry in case she tries something worse. I dread having to upload my music onto itunes, not that I have much. I only brought a few c.d.'s because, hey, I have it all on my computer! I'd laugh if I weren't so busy dry-heaving.
Therefore, everyone has even longer to wait for pictures that are definitely not worthy of this build-up. If you need an image to last you till then of Iraq, picture a sandbox surrounded in cement.
I'm going to wrap this up, as I have nothing positive to say right now. I mean, there are silver spots on this cloud.
I just choose not to see them right now. I'm in mourning.
5 comments:
Arrrrgh for you :-(
If I could send you cookie dough or Seinfeld or knew how to fix the computer, I would.
As it is, I'm crying on the inside for you. :-(
Love you, even though with no memory you may not remember who I am...
Hey - what you want, I got. What you need, I give, okay?
I can't begin to fathom the royal suckness that you're going through, but anything I can do to help, let me know- I'll track down pics and e-mail them to you, burn CDs and have Mom send them...you name it, sis.
Call Me Captain RescueYourSanity.
ya ya ya....I know how you feel. I am a huge fan of the Dr. That is, Dr. Pepper (ha ha ha...did that help your mood?...I tried!). Anyway, I dropped a few specs of my fav. beverage on the power cord (great idea, I know) and it was still under waranty. Evidentally, most computers come with a backup system in place...it's called a "recovery" function...hopefully yours will have that feature (it may be on another disk, but mine is on my computer)...it might be worth you trying to figure out if that will solve your problem. I don't know what happened to your computer, but maybe there is light at the end of the tunnel. I thought I'd lost everything too, but as it turned out...all was ok, I just had to go without a computer for a week or so until someone could come and fix it.
I hope it all works out ok, and don't worry...we still love you, even though you have a bit of old-timers thesedays! ha ha
Surely somewhere on that huge base called Speicher there is a computer geek who could help retrieve your memory. I know that takes time which you really don't have. But, I also ditto Steven - we'll pull together music, pictures, and stuff and send to you. And, you probably ought to buy a flash drive to keep stuff on. We'll work through this...
It feels so GROSS.... I know. I completley know. And nothing we say can make it better, but we are hurting for you.
And I have LOTS of Noah photos I can get in the mail ASAP. For reals, girl.
This will feeel a little bit better sooner than you think.
And ditto on Mom's comment-- surely Dave or someone can help hook you up with someone who could help?? I mean, their the friggin' ENGINEERS CORP...
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